August 9th, 2005

bsg - said the joker to the thief
  • djcati

(no subject)

ace_reaper's MST of an interview makes me snicker:


[Jack Thompson]:The federal government found that in the school year 2003, there were 48 school killings. The year before that there were 16, and the year before that 17. Something is going on. I submit that the video game generation is coming of age.

[ace_reaper]: I submit it was monkeys with guns! *Cough* Because the gaming indusry has has been around for 20-25 years now, its not coming of age, its moved out and bought a small appartment across town.
cm

Here's one for all you logic puzzle-lovers

In this customers_suck entry, jillyjammer has a customer who tries to cut in line because her "husband and kids are out in the car."

shes_unreal: Maybe she thinks the husband will kill and eat the children?

nidoking: You take the children into the store first, then go back out to the car for the husband and bring the children back to the car. Then you bring the Delicious Candy (tm) into the store, hand it to the husband, and go back for the kids.
Shock
  • libram

Hermione dies!

From here, about my "Ron Dies" icon:

shippo: Everyone knows that Hermione dies in HBP.

mindunleashed: If people don't know by now then I find it sad. Doesn't Frodo die right after he burns the ring? HEHE

shippo: I'm not sure about Frodo, but I hear that Hispanic guy dies at the end of the Bible.


I actually made several fake HBP spoiler icons, which can be found here.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Hairspray is b_^_^_d
  • miggy

(no subject)

bear said:

Subject: POP QUIZ, BITCHES.

When awakened at 3:07 a.m. by the sound of a helicopter buzzing your building and the light from the search-light-y thing at the front momentarily illuminating your apartment, your groggy brain immediately produces which of the following thoughts:

A. Oh look, it's LifeFlight, rushing an injured person to the hospital two blocks away.
B. OHMYGOD THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL ME GET DOWN GET DOWN GET DOWN BUT OHMYGOD WHAT IF THERE ARE GUYS COMING UP THE STAIRS, TOO???



I think I need to stop watching cop shows.
pretties // where earth meets sky

forceful compliments?

from rosebudpeas:

Rachael: How can you compliment forcefully!?

Angelina:
Forcefully: Rachael, you have no idea how god damn fucking hot you are. When I first saw you I wanted to jump down your pants and taste your Native American love pudding.

Not forcefully: Rachael, you are a charming woman with whom I'd like to spend many a tender hour.

They say the same thing, Rach.



native american love pudding. i have no words. XD
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
entrails

(no subject)

chibicelchan talking about asshats in Macky Ds on customers_suck
Full post here

Seriously. What is with these people who look at the menu like they're totally in there against their will, like they were dragged in kicking and screaming and they HATE McDonald's with every fiber of their being... but then order some customized sandwich?

Customer: "*Rolls eyes* GOD, I GUESS I'll have a McChicken with exactly 4 drops of mayo on it, spread out with a toothpick into an intricate floral design, with exactly 3 pieces of lettuce folded into origami cranes holding up the BUN, GOD. And I want them fries FRESH!!!1 I hate this fucken place. They never get my order right."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Gen Default Lily Me

(no subject)

I think I'm going to ask Guy Dressed Like Jayne on another date. In fact, via the magic of email, I just did. MAGIC EMAIL! BRING ME ATTRACTIVE, GOOD-LOOKING, INTERESTING, GEEKY DATES!

--kerrypolka, from a locked entry, quoted with permission.
i worship the devil

angryjonny -

- expresses profound dismay at Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez's fashion nonos, sternly drawing our attention to the fashion statements of other powerful, if megalomaniacal, men. ("If you're going to receive international coverage for rattling America's sabre, you could at least dress the part!") Aspiring world leaders take note: this guide is for you. We have hopes that Hugo Chavez will read - and learn!

"Love him or (hopefully) hate him, Hitler had an eye for detail. Whoever said the overcoat was out of style had no idea of Hitler's Final Solution... for turning heads!"

Read the rest of the Guide to Despotic Fashion here.
  • Current Music
    Seven ~ David Bowie
the original prince of snarkness

Sire Mix-A-Lot

fun ensues over at dinosaurcomics

tritium: I don't think T-Rex's theory is crazy, but I don't think it's a modern thing, and I don't think it has to do with homophobia. I mean, for example, think of the Victorian big-butt dresses.

tetetetigi: Bustles, bustles. Nothing quite like wearing an ottoman on the ass.

patchcali: Their courters like big butts and they cannot lie.

tetetetigi: No gentleman doth deny.

armyofchuckness: When a fair maiden strolls in with a diminutive waist and a bustle in your face...

tetetetigi: ...you approach a mutual aquaintance who may introduce her to you, and after a respectful introduction you politely inquire her father whether or not you may be allowed to make calls upon said young lady, and should he acquiesce, you make a series of chaperoned calls at the estate of said fair maiden, and after an appropriate time, during which you have reviewed her trainings, breeding, accomplishments, likelyhood to produce healthy offspring, and family standing, you approach her father again, and if he agrees to the marriage, you have an elaborate wedding, making sure lest you snub any family connections on either side, after which you embark on an appropriate honeymoon during which you get sprung.

(Janey Got Back)

found here.
Stetsons are cool

(no subject)

Here's another one:

It's more probable that you will die by being stung by a bee than by a terrorist attack. Therefore if all bees are whiped out it becomes impossible to be stung by them. If it is more probable that you will be stung to death than be blown up and it is now impossible to by stung then it stands to reason that it is now impossible to be blown up.

Thus global terrorism can be stopped in its tracks by desimating the bee population. Kill a bee a day to keep the agents of terror at bay.

malbec here in livejournal_uk
Sig & Moosie
  • sigma7

Like a psyched Lone Ranger

mightygodking warns us that the Religious Right is tweaking its gaydar (euphemism?):

Focus On The Family - the right-wing asshole group led by James Dobson whom you might remember as the Americans who tried to interfere in Canada's gay marriage debate - have released a handy pamphlet entitled "Is Your Child Becoming Homosexual?" (Next week's pamphlet is "Is My Child Turning Japanese? I Think He's Turning Japanese! I Really Think So!")

Note that they only worry about boys being gay. Girls, apparently, are already a lost cause, because when they turn eighteen somebody will give them beads during Spring Break and they will make out with anybody after that.

[snip]...Remember, your children or future children may also be gay! If so, you can always beat him to death. Dead people are by definition straight, because they cannot be attracted to other people of the same gender.
  • Current Music
    Liz Phair, not the Vapors
Ahiru & Fakir text

heh heh heheheheheeee. This one is for the anime folks out there.

herongale, while critisizing/MSTing/sporking a FMA fanfiction in fma_spork:


FANFIC: "Ed had redressed, grabbed his coat, and was out the door."

herongale: I'm glad that Ed had the presence of mind to grab his coat. He cannot transform into the Fullmetal Alchemist without it.


For the non-FMA folks, exposition: Ed doesn't really "transform" into anything; Full Metal Alchemist is his work alias, a sort of public codename he gets as a government-employed alchemist. But he usually likes to wear a red coat, with an alchemy symbol on the back... nevermind.
blurry

contraception

Someone on my flist, who wished to remain anonymous, gave this insight on contraception:

I've figured out how the pill works. It makes you such an irascible bitch that no one in their right mind would want to have sex with you anyway.
Music - Tyson

My resume brings all the boys to the yard

Posted from scrunchy's journal, with permission.

The following conversation took place after Scrunchy wrote an email to someone and accidentally typoed that she could fix a picture up using "adobe diet coke".

scrunchy: oh, it's totally going on my resume
slodwick: it should.
scrunchy: web savvy, types 88wpm, proficient with all microsoft office platforms, adobe pagemaker, acrobat, and diet coke
slodwick: OMG that would RULE
scrunchy: BAM
scrunchy: who doesn't hire me?!
scrunchy: i am PROFICIENT IN DIET COKE
scrunchy: HELLA PROFICIENT
slodwick: I KICK ASS AT MOUNTAIN DEW
slodwick: I have limited experience with Dr. Pepper.
scrunchy: I HAVE A B.A. AT STARBUCKS DOUBLESHOT. WHAT NOW, MOTHERFUCKER?
  • Current Music
    The mellow song stylings of whatever internet cafe I'm in