August 1st, 2005

GatackHero

The real alternative to being an idiot online.

chelkitty encounters someone on the internet. Apparently, someone not in her range of intelligence. Watch how she tells him off.

talldude: hey asl????
chelkitkat: ..........hi.
talldude: how we doing lollll???
chelkitkat: "we"?
talldude: i mean you
chelkitkat: ah.
chelkitkat: that's nice.
chelkitkat: you're too dumb to talk to me.
chelkitkat:
turn off the computer and go read a book. preferably one that, should
the need arise, is available in hardback and broken into chapters.
Shoulder Mount

When C.S. Lewis and fanfic collide

From a rant (go figure) by sashwizzled on fanficrants

"2/ When a character is sexually active with girls and shown to be just a wee bit homophobic in canon (and has a flamboyantly homosexual 'friend' whom he generally has no paitence for) this does not mean that he is simply so far back into the closet he can see Narnia. It could simply mean that he is homophobic."

Original thread roundabouts here.
amused

A pope by any other name

queerpup discusses great Pope names through the ages:

Popes Urban, I - VIII --> The Hip-Hop Popes, they were down with the kids.

St Fabian. He knew how to hang a roll of wallpaper.

St Innocent I - Innocent by name, but by very little else.

St Hilarius - always a giggle at parties.

St Simplicius. Bless him. Wasn't the brightest candle on the alter.

Donus. Loved his kebabs. (Yes, these are tenuous links, it's 3 am, what do you expect?!)

Pope Adrian. His secret diaries entertained 80's kids no end.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
scissors
  • jaie

When customers bite back

galiana_db works in a small office that has a big problem today:

Sprint has somehow misdirected their phone activation line to our 1-800 number. Mike has therefore seen this as a grand opportunity to take out some of his frustration and give us all a good laugh.

DC = doofus customer
M = mike

M: X company, this is Mike.
DC: Hi, is this Sprint?
M: No, this is X company.
DC: Good, I'd like to activate my phone. My account number is...
M: I tell ya what, buddy, I don't need your account number. Let me tell you how to activate your phone. What you do is get in your car and roll down the windows. Now, you have to get up to a good speed, at least 40mph. You hold your phone OUT the window to get some good wind noise, y'see, and then when you come up to a red light you slam on the brakes and throw that sonofabitch just as far as you can. And there, it's activated.
DC: What kind of place is this?!
M: Welcome to my world, buddy. [click.]

I think it would be damned amusing to have someone "activate" their phone in that manner, and then call Sprint and ask them what the hell is going on.

A note to doofus customers: please listen to people when they tell you that you have not called Sprint.
  • Current Music
    Puffy AmiYumi - Teen Titans Theme [Nice]
Me!

(no subject)

els_chan, who is frustrated that she cannot download a music video and has thus resorted to the capslock of doom:

WHY DO YOU HATE ME, GOD. WHY. THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW. WTF DID I DO TO YOU. IF THIS IS ABOUT LUNCH ON FRIDAY, I'M SORRY, BUT I TOLD YOU I HAD TO WORK. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. WHY DIDN'T YOU USE YOUR DIVINE POWERS TO SHUT DOWN THE OFFICE FOR A DAY IF IT BOTHERED YOU THAT MUCH. STOP MESSING WITH ME. DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN I STAGE AN 'OVERTHROW YOUR DEITY' RALLY NEXT WEEK, THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

Posted from an f-locked post with permission.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Pitfall, YATTA!

The Weirding of Language

Over in my own journal, I asked:

What's the word for when you're both amused and embarrassed at the same time?


There was a bit of a discussion as to what this word might be, and whether or not it actually existed. Then, jrwolf came up with the following response:

I'm sure there's a word for it in German. They always have those hugeass words for really specific stuff like "The crumbs that get beneath your fingernails when eating Gouda on Mt. Vesuvius."


Linguistics can't get much better than that.
Rose hopes

He was the prodcuer behing Armageddon, after all...

From fun2sparkle's entry about what she did over the weekend:

By that point I was too tired to eat. So we watched a semi-confusing episode of "Without A Trace."

How can they say, "That is not her Mother. We did a DNA test and the DNA does not match. That woman is her Aunt." (BTW it's Aunt via being her birth Father's sister). Ummm thank you Jerry Bruckheimer. All this time I thought blood family shared DNA. Asshats.)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
bi puzzle

from the ever witty jawnbc

quoted with his permission

10) “If I had been present on the day of Creation, I might have given the Creator some useful suggestions.” What would you change about the world?
Take the concept of a self-cleaning oven and make the planet like that
sparkler dance

http://www.livejournal.com/users/badnoodles/

I hate ants, even more than cockroaches. Cockroaches at least have the decency to not bite and sting you when you're doing nothing more offensive than walking around in the grass. If you keep a moderately clean home, they don't stream into your kitchen and bathroom in a never-ending line of exoskeletal menace. Damn them, damn them all. To hell, preferably.
Ninth Doctor

(no subject)

So in customers_suck, our good friend jediwitch spoke about her woes at Chuck E. Cheese:

Oh, and a note to the teenagers, because despite what you may think, you ARE a child. Our rules clearly state that every CHILD under the age of 18 must be accompanied by an adult with a matching hand stamp in order to enter or exit. That includes you, miss 16 year old with a nose ring. You are not too cool for a hand stamp. No, you can’t leave without your mom.

In a later comment, our dearest onlyonechoice replies:

Oh, I'd love to see them trying to tell their tale of woe to their other "peeps" (which I always picture of the marshmallow variety).

"Aw man, yo, I got carded tryin' to go to Chuck E. Cheese!"

(insert laughter of the suburbian posse)
  • Current Music
    Some Rayearth song
txt life

What do you call a triple meta?

My first post! Yay!

lesleykajira, in reply to hermintage, here:


Sir, please stay on the line. i have emergency vehicles on route to the scene now. When the Wahmbulance arrives, please make sure to have someone standing out in front of your house to wave them in.

Please remain calm. i'm going to talk you through first aid, okay? If you're able to walk, i need you to go to the bathroom. Are you there?

Good. Do you have any sort of lubricant? Good. Yes, that kind will do. Okay, sir, i need you to really coat your neck in it. If you can get your fingers inside - no, no, stop if it hurts. It's okay.

Try to extract your head GENTLY. If you feel pressure, just relax and the Emo-Tees will be there shortly.

It'll be allright, sir.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Avatar

(no subject)

Said by sunflower_sky's mother, in this post



"What I love about spending Shabbat in a place with few Jews (probably the only thing I like about it) is situations like my mother experienced--she was eating dinner with Martha (:D), and Martha said, "Can I get you anything?" And my mother said, "Well, you see, if it weren't Shabbat I'd probably get myself some diet Pepsi from the machine." "I see," said Martha. "And if you were getting yourself some diet Pepsi, would you take it with ice?" "Yeah, I probably would." "



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I found this very amusing (althoguh moreso when context wasn't needed).

Am I allowed to do two at once?

Hooray for my first post! I’ve been a member for a while, but I never saw meta-worthy quotes until today.

In this post by hamtramckkid about a Serb who rampaged in a tax office, there is this very amusing end:

Police arrested Miladinovic, whom neighbors described as a hard worker who never made trouble. Witnesses said he even paid for parking his car in front of the tax office before the rampage.

And also, in a completely separate issue, mathwhiz78 gives us this funny conversation:
MathWhiz78: so, wanna have wild mad hot passionate steamy monkey sex?
other person: Oh my, right here and now? ^___6
MathWhiz78: Well, how soon can you be here, actually? It's so much nicer in person!
other person: uhm
other person: 12 hours, once I get a ride?
other person: XP
MathWhiz78: If the ride's hot, I say let 'em join!!
other person: ...
other person: only ride I can get is my MOM, dude. Nottt coooooool...
other person: *shudder*
MathWhiz78: lol, sorry, sorry
MathWhiz78: i figured maybe you had a friend
other person: I need to bleach my mind....