Metaquotes

flumpitt is using some rudimentary mathematics to figure out how to get a job.

Paraphrase

It was found that the formula A + 2SC = M is non-conclusive to finding J or W, despite the fact that J and W are = M.
Referring to this formula, one could also infer that Addie + Stress and two packages of cookies is equal to her finding a job. This formula does obviously not hold up in real life because---let's face it---life sucks. Proving once again that algebra is completely useless when it comes to real problems. ^_^

The whole entry is better, though, so go read it here

luna_hoshino at fanficrants said...

"Inserting yourself into a fanfic is like masturbating in public-- it really isn't enjoyable to anyone but you, but it's a great way to make yourself look bad."

Quoted with permission from an otherwise serious post here http://www.livejournal.com/users/technotaoist/43553.html

Me: You can be a pain in the ass, but you've become an expected and comfortable pain in the ass... and I've gotten used to it. You're both bright and funny enough that I enjoy hanging out with you.

celticone : Kind of like a butt plug that you've grown used to...

that_redhead muses:

Maybe it's just me, or does anyone else find it rather amusing that Pop Tarts is sponsoring the American Idols Live tour?

less_than_sane is just starting work, and had a panic attack over where her birth certificate was.


I did find my birth certificate by the way. Or rather, my dad found it in his pile of junk. I knew he was the one who lost it. I'm absent-minded, but I'm not that bad...
I think.
I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.

i_am_stillwater: I still hate you though. [...] Where the hell's the good karma in that, huh? Fifteen lifetimes where everyone thinks you're a boorish, boring man? That's like telling me I have no life... fifteen times... after i keep getting fucking reincarnated. It's mean. I'm sad. I'll go cry now.

chelkitty: No hating ;_; Or crying. Reincarnations don't cry!

i_am_stillwater: I think the reincarnation of the God of Emo would beg to disagree.

In the rather defunct-looking reproductive, I spotted the following comment to a rather mundane and very old "is my friend pregnant after having non-penetrative sex in the shower?" post:

Also, sperm do not have a vagina-homing device so if they land on a park bench or a leg or something they're not going to sprout legs and crawl to the nearest vagina. :-)

from veshadana.

Well, I personally always lug a park bench into the shower with me, I think it adds to the fun enormously. Especially the bit where you have to break down a wall.

(My new icon is in honour of all those people who were raving on about the cuteness of penguins a few days ago and wanting to keep one in the bath. And the one or two people who have read the book it's the cover picture from, namely Death and the Penguin. I would like to make it clear that while this novel features a penguin called Misha who is sometimes in the bathtub, as well as Russian mafiosi, at no point does anyone climb into the tub with the penguin, mafioso or not.)

From mooselet...

tavalya_ra muses on her life as a Harry Potter character...

At home, I write gay Harry Potter fic. At work, I walk around with a Jojo doll on my shoulder, held in place by a Disney princess backpack.

And I have reached the sad realization that I am Luna Lovegood.

context

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will_to_die may be on to something.

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snow_queen_love:

wols yrev si sdrawkcab ngipyt esuaceb t'now I tub segassem lla uoy evael dna edoc terces repus a sa siht esu dluoc I .sdrawkcab gnis ot elba gnieb enigami t'nac I .ti epyt ot tsuj hguone drah s'tI .emeht rieht fo trap a sa sdrawkcab gnignis ro gnikaeps dah evah yltnecer daer evah I skoob eht fo owT

She follows this by remarking:


!drawrof yaw eht ylraelc si gnitirw sdrawkcaB

eclectician is not enjoying his summer:

"I spent 8 hours yesterday covering christmas lights with electrical tape. No, Optimistic Intern, mind numbing scut work like that is not good for the soul. Beating idiot bosses to a pulp with iron pipe is good for the soul."

Quote taken from ladydreamer with verbal permission.
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My friend, chairman_wow reckons:
I wonder who decided that sleeping people say "Zzzzzz"? I mean, in what language does "Zzzz" translate into snoring? Snoring's more like "Spkrchfchfchfchfchshkch-fssss."

Hee!

a_hollow_year looks a little too deeply into Disney movies:

havelock: So where do you want to eat?
a_hollow_year: Ah, nowhere. Doesn't matter. As long as I can get something cool to drink I'm good.
havelock: Okay.
a_hollow_year: ...
a_hollow_year: Okay, is it weird that I just spent two minutes trying to figure out mermaid physiology?
havelock: ... why the hell are you thinking about that?
a_hollow_year: Well I was thinking how I wanted something cool to drink, and then I remembered that in "The Little Mermad" Sebastian tells Ariel that he's going to take her home and give her something warm to drink, and then I was wondering how mermaids drink since they're underwater, and that fish don't drink, so she obviously gets her water from the sea around her, possibly by osmosis, and then I was thinking how if a human spends too much time in the water their skin starts to slough off, so obviously her skin is different than ours, so how can she live so easily out of water when she's still a mermaid, and that there'd have to be some powerful magic shit going on to get her to turn into a human. I mean, the structure of her eyes and lungs and throat and all sorts of stuff would be totally different! And what do they eat? Is that how they get their water?
havelock: They probably eat fish.
a_hollow_year: But her dad was all like, "humans are savage fish eaters!" so they don't eat fish.
havelock: Then I'd guess they eat nothing but kelp.
a_hollow_year: But Ursula was all eating shrimp, and shrimp are fish-y, but I guess she was banished from the kingdom anyway, so she probably doesn't count.
havelock: ...
a_hollow_year: Someone seriously did not go over that script very well.
havelock: ...
a_hollow_year: ...
havelock: ...
a_hollow_year: ... and now I just feel like I'm in a G-rated Quentin Tarantino movie.

resonant, in my birthday post:

HAPPY DAY YOU FLEW OUT OF YOUR MOM'S GENITALS!!!!

best phrased wishes evar.

"She needs more than the world's tiniest violin. She needs the world's tiniest ORCHESTRA." -- ladybirdsleeps

Cuz it's true, yo.

slytherinette over in fanficrants talks about misuse of words in fanfiction, and, of course, overuse of fangirl Japanese/Wapanese.

Warning: over use of the words “kawaii” and “chibi” (and other fangirl words) can be dangerous to your health... Someone might shoot you!

In their response to a post by tsenft in which she polls readers about their favourite and least favourite soaps (found here) m_dash says:

"I'm here to say that I love me some Dr. Bronner's peppermint, but it's hard not to experience the aftermath as though a 200 pound Pep-O-Mint lifesaver has just gone down on me."

In an amusing review of Stargate Atlantis episode 2.02, dvswraatins comments on seeing slash:

OMG! He touched him! He touched him, there! On the arm! Sex! They did sex! Look, right there on page twenty-five of the Slasher's Guide to Perverting Completely Heterosexual Moments: Any touching between two hawt males is indicative of sexual liaisons between said hawt males. You see? Right there! //hides book//

As we all know, Canada and Denmark are having a little fight over a tiny rock somewhere in the Arctic, and it's causing much diplomatic consternation. So, I was discussing this in my journal in a locked post, and I said (here for context, I'm not the witty one here):

fleurdelista: That random battle with Denmark just cracks me up. I want a godforsaken rock just so I can spark a fight between two nominally peaceful countries.

mencc1701: We thought that we'd struck a deciding blow by opening a Tim Hortons, and beginning to open the proceedings to have the Florida Panthers moved to Hans Island, but our war canoes filled with donuts were stopped short by the blockade of Viking longships. Such is life.

*shrugs* It amused me.

Oh, I am so sorry, but this was so full to the brim with juicy meta-meta goodness, how could I resist?

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From the thread of uwue's tale of iPod woe, come the great and glorious rules of Metaquotes.

beoweasel explained:
RULE ONE OF METAQUOTES: Don't drink while reading the entries.
RULE TWO OF METAQUOTES: You don't talk about Metaquotes...because nobody will understand what the fuck you're talking about.

outofbeta continued with:
You are not your Friends List. You are not your comments page. You are not your fucking icon space. YOU ARE NOT YOUR POST-TO-metaquotes-RATIO FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS!
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Heh. I am full of the love for the Fight Club references. Because I'm lame like that.
(edited to make it clear where the quote actually STOPS - sorry!)