July 27th, 2005

  • swore


Rocket625 (12:44:59 AM): well how do you expect me to contibute with three kids a dog, two cats, a horse, a piano and a blind slave to take care of while youre out at the bars getting drunk with your buddys
AxleBlaze666 (12:46:13 AM): We only have the slave and Morris can see just fine!

In a gratuitous fake family post here.
off ice

(no subject)

Poor diosa_en_disfra has had enough whining, here. NOT cut, for obvious reasons.

You know what I hate? Fucking losers who are all, ahh I'm a baby, lj-cut please! Ahhh, I'm a pussy NSFW!!! Aaahhh waa waaaaaaa I cry and suck my mommy's tit. I hold my daddy's cock in public. I mean hand, I said hand.

Fuck that, tomorrow, I'm posting a huge picture of my cunt. With no lj-cut and no NSFW warnings. And you're gonna love it. And your boss is gonna love it. and your supervisor is gonna love it. and your ceo is gonna LOVE it. everyone will love you cuz your a pervert just like them. and you'll get promoted. but you'll be too embarassed so you'll quit instead and hope you mommy doesn't spank your cracker ass.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy
hey moon sticker

Oh baby so sexy.

threeoranges makes a valid point about the sexiness of Severus Snape in fanficrants, here.

"Hee, that's a pretty large disclaimer - some of us do like our men so greasy you could panfry an egg with the residue from their hair! Besides, why should clean-cut, good-looking guys with no body odour and nice personalities get all the action? UNFAIR!"

(I know this is my second one in like...2 minutes. What can I say, it's a good morning for metas!)

Politics with intelligent snark - part of this good breakfast!

Not so much funny but very, very thought provoking.

You like to say how we're forcing our morality on you, that you're not allowed to be anything other than pro-choice, pro gay marriage, pro whatever your narrow little religious world view says you shouldn't be. Because your god says that these things are wrong. I won't even go into the insanity of taking the words of ambitious, power hungry humans as the rote word of God. So, fine... you can't stand being forced to be any of these things. But let's take the inverse for a second and I dare you to think how you would feel in these situations.

--King of the Badgers, arkhamrefugee makes some really intelligent points on some really touchy political topics, in this entry. Regardless of your stance, it's a really worthwhile read, IMO.

Metaquoted with permission.

First Post. w00t, and all that good stuff

Qoute taken from HERE. Also note, there are no actual spoilers, so it hasn't been cut.

ROVE: Yes, Mr. President. You said you'd fire anyone involved in that whole CIA leak thing. If it comes to that, sir, I'll understand.

BUSH: I appreciate that, Karl, but I think you're overreacting. I figure we can beat this thing inside of a week.

ROVE: You think so, sir?

BUSH: Sure. Heck, all you did was expose the identity of a CIA official to screw with her husband for opposing our foreign policy. It's not like that's illegal or anything. So what if it undermines our national security in the middle of a worldwide war on terrorism? The point is you showed everybody you can't screw with the Bush Administration.

ROVE: Wow, thanks sir.

BUSH: Thank you, Karl. Gimme five.

ROVE: [high-fives the President] Man, I can't tell you what a load off my mind this is, sir. I haven't felt so good since I found out Dumbledore kills Ron.

BUSH: I'm sorry...what?

XDD i love this guy. i do. i really do.
  • Current Music
    The Bravery-Honest Mistake
Hello Nurse!


I don't think I posted this one yet. I meant to, but as we all know, I have the laser-like focus of a kitten with ADD on catnip crack in a yarn store full of crickets.

On a good day.

Here is what my friend armoire_man said as he discussed the concept of newly emerging defiance in the emotional development of seven year olds:

Defiant as in "I'd rather shriek, scream and die of a brain hemorrhage than give in to your demands that I wash my feet! Your corrupt and pustulent reign shall end in the cleansing fire from Heaven that is my due!"

(Note from neonnurse: This IS a normal human development trait--without it no one could break away from the family unit and become an individual. Unfortunately little kids don't have an emotional regulator yet, so they are either off or at full blast.)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

This is from a first responder community called the_bravest posted by a Texan firefighter, brian_berlin. I can't stand the heat in Texas. Add a nice little house fire, and I don't know how those guys don't just melt. Anyway, gotta love a hostess willing to put herself in harm's way to see a little naked ass...

Three of us, walk into the front door of the restaurant in full turn out gear, air packs, and various implements of destruction (fire ax, sledge hammer, etc.).

I say to the hostess "Fire Department, party of three, smoking section."

"Are you guys strippers?", she replied.

Me: *blink*

Steve says, "We got a call for a smell of smoke in the building?"

She says, "No, really, are you guys going to strip?"

The manager sees us and leads us to another part of the restaurant describing the smoke. The girl follows us around the dining room and kitchen for several more minutes -- to be close to us in case we really were strippers.
  • beldar

Fun with radio signals

Interesting what the_dark_snack has been listening to lately:

We actually have one good station that plays all 80's music (and really great stuff, at that) but it's a High School staion and based on the south part of Indy so unless we're nearer to the south side we can't get it in clearly. On the northerly side of town it competes and is overpowered by a religious station which can make for some great bleed over sound bites.
This morning, I had a sermon on sex fighting with "In a Big Country" by Big Country.

Examples: "Stay Alive" ..."for fornication"
"withhold sex"..."stay with me"..."until I come"

Sometimes static is worth it.

Full context here.
I've experienced some of these bleed-overs first-hand. Nothing like hearing Rod Stewart fade in and out of a hellfire-and-brimstone sermon. =)

  • Current Mood
Bubble Gum - Garbage
  • raptoe

(no subject)

From echafaud in ohnotheydidnt found here

About the hottest most deranged couple in town.
Because everyone knows by now that Tom Cruise and his goons are actually satnists with partyhats on.

Hahaha, how I wish a spokesperson from my weird-ass religion would issue statements about my rashes! Don't worry kids, Scientology doesn't give you herpes- making out with Tom Cruise does!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

banshee talks about attending a college orientation as a returning student:

"Then we sat down and introduced ourselves. Hi, I'm Tyffaneeie, and I was in preschool in 1991! I've never been outside New York State, and I love, uh, hanging out with friends...and stuff! And chilling!

When I announced that I was 33 the whole group spun around and stared like I had just pulled John Denver out of my ass and started belting out 'Rocky Mountain High'.

Oh, snap! You old!"

sailor kiss

So, Why Not?

My first time metaquote comes from littledarkvoice and her entry here.

I'm only putting in the funniest snippets but the whole post is worth it.

"So why not porn?


Now, generally, porn isn't about the dialogue, so that makes it less appealing for me to write. I can't think of many characters who'd hold actual conversations during sex. (Okay, maybe Ted and Booster. Clearly I should just write Boostle PWP.)"
  • Current Mood
    chipper chipper

"Rockers can't wear thong underwear."


Had I known my interest in rock music (and all its subgenres) and the fashions that go along with it would limit my selection in underwear, perhaps I would not have taken this route - perhaps I would have taken a cue from her and pretend to be black and speak in an obviously fake "southern gangsta" accent. -- o0olellyo0o
  • Current Music
    Plastic Ono Band - "Mindtrain"


there was some discussion of snape's greasyness this morning on fanficrants. the post was already quoted here, but it was the other comments that got me.

sugarcane_moon: I know nothing gets me going like a thick sheen of oil on a man.
threeoranges: Whenever he has a sip of water, he leaves rainbows in the glass! XD Can you think of anything more romantic?
sugarcane_moon: "I love you so much...I tried to bring you flowers, but the grease from my hands killed them."

and then...
carlanime: ::sits here in Paris resolutely keeping her mouth closed::
  • lyme

(no subject)

docnuke in regards to the GTA lawsuit here:

I mean, how can you possibly miss so many clues that a game like “Grand Theft Auto” might not be suitable for your 14-year old grandson? One would think the name would be a tip-off. It’s not like it is called “Happy Fun Bear Silly Squad Love Shiny Glee.”
  • Current Music
    Rip Slyme - Judgement
heart #2

(no subject)

mnarra, on people who think bad_sex is a competition:

...and I didn't get to come.

Oh, that's nothing. I got a disease.

Disease. Hah! My dick fell off.

Fell off, that's nothing. Mine exploded.

Well, mine exploded too, and the piercings shot around like shrapnel and killed her mother who was walking in on us. So there.


Ooh, confetti!
  • Current Music
I am a girl of the future

(no subject)

chaosfairy75 struggles with a coffeemaker, and says,

"If the aliens from War of the Worlds attack today I will not be surprised. If there is a nuclear war, I will nod sagely and go about my business unimpressed. If the Hamilton Beach coffee maker company suddenly disappears, I had nothing to do with it. However, I will laugh evilly and applaud."
My Face



"I dunno. I'd probably still manage to hack out something like 'am in strtjckt. v. hrd 2type w pen in teeefth. have hrrrypottr plotbunny. tnis sucks. also am hngry.'

And yes, I really did just type that with a pen in my teeth. Which suggests that maybe it's a good thing school starts again soon."

- tabbyclaw, in reference to being kept off of livejournal via straitjacket. I don't know which amuses me more, the fact that she typed it with a pen in her teeth, or the fact that I've seen hand-typed entries with worse grammatical errors.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Vetinari indeed (by jesskat)

(no subject)

pottersues overhears something at lunch, and wonders about it for the next three days:

Eating my lunch today, I found myself sitting next to these two guys, one of whom described something to the other by saying it was "like the Samuel L. Jackson of Swiss Army Knives". I have been trying and failing to picture this ever since.


My husband, speaking with all the authority of his Y chromosome, says that the Samuel L. Jackson of Swiss Army Knives would be one from which you can pull any tool imaginable, and all of them utterly badass. He also says he knows what he wants for Christmas.


I found it! Ladies and gentlemen, the Samuel L. Jackson of Swiss Army Knives. It is slick. It is sexy. It is badass. It is black. And I don't even know what some of its bits do, but they'd better be good for something because this contraption costs about as much as Samuel L. Jackson, too.

(no subject)

From elektra3, here at fanficrants:

Every time I read someone referring to their lover as their "koi," the immediate mental image that pops into my head is of Whoever-It-Is murmuring sweet nothings to a carp.

Now, no offense to people who get off on fish porn, but for me at least, the inclusion of fish, intended or otherwise, into any kind of sex/otherwise romantic scene really, really kills the mood.

(no subject)

Quoted from a f-locked post with permission from mentalhygiene, referring to an interesting line from CSI: NY:

And back on the subject of Mac-is-smoking-something-potent, that's... a really, almost bizarrely detached answer. "I am not currently married". (Granted, that may not be what he, scripturally, actually *said*, but... yeah). It's like, Mac, your marriage is not on leave, it is not in the reserves. It has not been put on inactive duty until it's country calls for it. Admittedly, it's not a divorce either, but... it ain't coming back.
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    amused amused
when silly thoughts go through my head, she don't use jelly, i shall never grow old

(no subject)

fmith talks about camp activities:

"Tall-Tale Tabloid: Make your own tabloid! I'm writing a story about how Tom Cruise has been brainwashed by an alien cult. Pretty crazy, huh?"
  • Current Music
    Common Rotation- God Will

(no subject)

From bjam1402 :

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like after we had a one night stand of passionate love making with many strange vegetables and music and positions and exchanges of many bodily fluids?"

I do love the way this girl puts things....

  • Current Music
    Pocket Tanks music

(no subject)

thieving_gypsy on why the Zeffirelli version of Romeo and Juliet is a superior version, and nailing one of my biggest peeves when it comes to misuse of Shakespeare:

Hah, and at least they understand in this one that 'wherefore' doesn't mean 'where', it means 'why'. That's my biggest raging peeve about Shakespeare. Possibly even more than the people who REAlly STRESS the RHYthm WHEN they SPEAK the VERSE. I don't know how many times I've seen it on stage and wanted to heckle and throw things because she was asking "WHERE are you, Romeo?" instead of "OMG, you're a Montague, wtf?!
  • Current Music
    Assassins - Anonther National Anthem

(no subject)

conuly, talking about dictionaries and their uses in this entry:

I'm not sure how exactly lexographers work their magic - perhaps they accost people in the street and force them to use various words in sentences - but they do, keeping the sacred trust of listing how a word is used.