July 25th, 2005

cat teapot

Snark, snark, wonderful snark, beautiful snark snark snark snark!

From somebody's eye-burningly bad RP profile:

he was born wen man didnt have all of the greed they do in most of the threads and he knos wat that was like, he was raised in different places and by many pplz. he learned of his wizard abilities at a vry young age and didnt exceed in nething he did but nvr stopped at it. he tried and tried and eventually became a great wizard. wen he was with the elves he learned the basic skill of a bow and sword the learned the language to and he learned frm men the skills of the sword. wen he reached adult yrs he traveled frm library to library studying books and books learning of new spells and pplz. wen he had become around the age of 80 the was respected and one of the last of his kind, for most of the others were killed wen he was about thirty the era of male ego.

(but of course many other females wanted to date him and he decided we should be friends. and now he dead from coke.)

-- jenlittlebottom

That's the entire post, and you can find it here
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    amused amused
thinky tim

(no subject)

Over in fanficrants, jaina has a plea for disappointed slashers whose pairing has been 'negated' by a love interest of the opposite sex:

Think about the bisexuals, people!

They think of you. Naked.


(Note: Spoilers for HBP in the post.)

EDIT: I have been informed that the quote came from another source -- namely, icons over at JournalFen -- so a redirection of amusement is in order. Make sure you laugh responsibly, people, at the ones who really deserve it.
celtic cross

Beware the White Rabbit

fluffygremlin is losing her mind...

You know that you need a vacation when you start dreaming that the emo girl from Degrassi is going on a date with Michael Rosenbaum's Lex Luthor. He was totally rubbing it in Seamus Finnigan's face afterwards. OK, so that's Canadian teenyvision, Smallville/Superman, and Harry Potter all wrapped up in a nice little package complete with a "WTF Mate?!?" upon wake up. I'm surprised Kirk and WoW didn't make an appearance...
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    amused amused
Devon

(no subject)

lollipopandscar, in a flocked entry (posted with permission, of course.)

i havent showered in 7 days.

i am, as they say...not so fresh.

this was important for you to know.






Context is for the weak.
default

(no subject)



Posted with her kind permission.

    ...It will break your heart sometimes, being a doctor, if you are not careful. It will take the parts of your soul that are alive and hopeful and fragile with joy and it will wrap them around death and despair and strange, sourceless loss. It will rend your unprotected self, decorate you with grief, and cast you aside with the rest of the debris of life's purposeless cruelties. I awoke this morning numb and disconnected, painless and blind.

    And then, O Best Beloved, I stepped into the room of my first clinic patient and saw a squealing, laughing six-month-old boy, fat with vitality, trying to eat my stethoscope, reaching out to me. And in the embrace of those chubby arms, in the black reflection of curious eyes, I saw myself stir and wake and come alive. And there is, there has always been, there will always be hope.





chess

(no subject)

From doctor_seward*:

I'm getting sick of how the Wizarding World thinks it's so much better than we are. I think I should make an icon or something with a picture of a mushroom cloud from an H-Bomb. The text can read, "Avada Kedavra this, bitch!"

*This isn't a friends-locked post, btw. You can only leave comments if you're a friend, but the entry itself isn't f-locked.
Paddies Kinney Still

(no subject)

First, a little background:

In this, now infamous, interview, J.K. Rowling simultaneously warns her fans that you can't change a man, that it's unhealthy to think that you canCollapse ), and implies that Harry's mother was attracted to his father because he was a bit of a bad boy (read: arrogant asshat)Collapse ).

Now, while most of fandom scratches its collective head and goes WTF?!,  </a></strong></a>sistermagpie tries, in this post, to make some sense out of JKR's cautionary message:

"I mean, I get, obviously, that Draco and Snape are allied/were allied with a psychopathic killer who wants to wipe out a whole population and I do consider that a deal-breaker when it comes to whether or not I'm going to go out with a guy, yes. But how, exactly, am I supposed to apply this to real life?"

Knitty Bender

My daughter just asks me why Daddy and I shut the door at night...

jaie is mother to young _tarquin_, who is if I remember correctly going into ninth grade:

jaie: Guess what I bought? That you might like but may make you nervous due to it's capacity in my hands for evil?

_tarquin_: those thigh high boots?

jaie: NO!!

_tarquin_: A bull whip?

jaie: O_o Stop talking to me.


(Edited to fix my stupid coding, quoted with permission, no rebates, check your local listings for times)
  • Current Music
    Whatever Bloo's dancing to.
Estie

(no subject)

ursulav expresses some very true thoughts:

"It's often said that some parrots have the abstract reasoning capacity of small children.

Fine and good, doesn't sound too outrageous to me. However, what they fail to mention is that small children also share a number of traits with parrots--repeating inconvenient phrases, shrieking a great deal, seeming to be a terrible combination of destructive and fragile, and in some cases requiring large newspaper floored cages."
Lindsay mask

(no subject)

From the friends only entry of one of my (non-POTO obsessed, if you can believe it ;-)) friends who would rather remain unnamed...obviously.

We're keeping the engagement secret because my tutor is a disfigured guy who lives underneath an opera house...really, because our families wouldn't be too thrilled.

*giggles*
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    amused amused
uhm

required knowledge: Boondock Saints

In the Sages community, you must ask a question in your post. Brother Hulkster has JUST ONE QUESTION for you all. For full effect, this is brotherhulkster's default icon:


brotherhulkster: I've just got one question for all you dudes and dudettes out there...

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?

saintsofboston: Connor: Aye, this is what we came here for. NOW I can die happy.

Murphy: Answer the man's question, then.

Connor: (Pause) THE MICK BROTHERS ARE GONNA TEAR YOU IN HALF, HULKSTER, THEN FEED YOU TO OUR PET ... um ...LEPRECHAUN!

Murph: AYE AND BEGORAH BECAUSE WE HATE A-MIR-ICA!

Connor: AND ROCK AND ROLL!

Murph: AYE, THAT, TOO!!!

the rest, because I am too dead to type it up
  • Current Music
    The Reindeer Section - Cartwheels
cookie

(no subject)

The lovely indigoskynet in this post

Operetta Carbonatica:
What Must Have Happened:
A MELODRAMATIZATION



In the back seat of Indigo's car, the temperature climbs beyond hot to
really hot to pretty damn hot to unbearable. At least, for the dozen pepsi
cans in the fridge pack. It says fridge pack. They were meant for cold
temperatures. And this heat.

It's killing them.

Pepsi One Can #5 [DiCaprio Voice] P-Promise me...promise me you'll
survive even if the heat takes me!

[Leonardo Pepsi One evaporates without ever popping his top.]

Pepsi One Can #6: [Kate Winslet voice] N-Not this time. I ...I have
to let go.

[Kate Pepsi one Can evaporates without ever popping her top]

Pepsi One Can #5: STEEEEEEEELLLLLLAAAAA!!!!

[Marlon Pepsi One Can blows his top, blasting through the cardboard and
jettisoning across the backseat into the driver's side rear door of the Big
O.]

Big O: [put upon sigh]

Pepsi Can #3: [John Rambo Voice] You not gonna follow like these
loosahs, are yah?

Pepsi Can #2: [John McClane Voice] Hell, no! I had to deal with worse
heat than this in LA! Yippie-kai yai, Mother fscker!

Pepsi Can #1: [Terminator Voice] No problemo.

Pepsi Can #7: [Ripley Voice] It's gonna be okay.

Pepsi Can: #8: [Leeloo Voice] Is no problem.

Pepsi Can #9: [Trinity Voice]: Bad for us.

Pepsi Can #10: [Morpheus Voice] I do not see three of our fellows
exploded. I see providence. Three cans. Three evaporations.

Pepsi Can #11: [Space Marine Voice] That's it! Game over! We're all
gonna DIE, man!

Pepsi Can #12: [Buffy Voice] 'Scuse me, drama much?
baseball

(no subject)

On the weather, captainsblog has this to say:

Hot, okay? If they still made records, they'd be broken and skipping. Just when we finally get a day or two of relief, the Bermuda High machine kicks right back in where it left off.
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    crappy crappy
Suck

ahh the things said at work

katndhat33: Am I the only one who's going to see the movie who thinks Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke is a bad idea?
jmspencer: No.
Another coworker: I mean how is she supposed to remember whole WORDS and, ya know, actually SAY THEM?
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    amused amused
AAAAAAH-gnk!!!

Sorry, John, but it's true.

crantz's mother is officially cooler than him :P


Anyway, when we were pulling into the Staples parking lot, some guy cut us off real bad. Then parked. And went into the grocery store.

So we went into Staples and got our stuff and came out and his truck was still there. It had a Arizona licence plate and a sticker that said 'Real Men Love Jesus'.


"John," my mother said. "Hand me those printable stickers I got for your father."


I handed them to her.

"Now give me a sharpie."

So I gave her that too.

Now underneath his jesus sticker and we don't know if he ever noticed it is 'Because he's dreamy <3'
aj contemplates

(no subject)

Another gem from this week's LJDQ:

3. Who played a singing Austrian nun-in-training and a singing British supernanny, both technically named Mary?

"The only Austrian I know (and not that I know him personally) is the Governator. Picturing him dressed as a nun is kind of funny, no?" - szellem

(Picturing him on the cross is even funnier. "Hey, Pontius Pilate... I'll be back!" - chaosvizier)