July 24th, 2005

LJ and food

darkamber notes how cooking and livejournal is a unfortunate mix:

I was baking halv-prebaked ciabattas today. They were supposed to bake for 10 minutes. While they were baking, I went back to the pc to continue catching up with a weeks worth of LJ posts on my friendslist.
Suddenly I remembered the ciabattas.
2 hours and 16 minutes later...
The result was interesting.

Posted here, quoted with permission.
  • Current Mood
britta guns - shelightsupwell

(no subject)

ironychan has just seen the preview for the King Kong remake (locked entry, QWP):

King Kong. Of King Kong, I have two observations:

a) Since when can Jack Black act? Seriously, that's creepy.

b) If I ever meet Peter Jackson, I will start ripping his clothes off right then and there. He can be as short, fat, and hairy as he wants, 'cause any man who can make something look that fucking cool is sex. On. A. Stick. The preview doesn't look like the preview for a remake - it looks like the preview for what Cooper and Schoedsack would have made if they'd only had the effects technology. I swear my inner geek achieved multiple orgasms, and that was just the preview. OMG giant gorillas! OMG two hundred pound scorpions! OMG dinosaurs! OMG GIANT GORILLA KICKING DINOSAUR ASS! *pant pant* Was it good for you, Mr. Jackson?
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    giggly giggly
TP - Andy Nngghh

Neil Gaiman Strikes Again

What is it with Japanese plumbing?
Outside my hotel window is somewhere that looks astonishingly like Tokyo, and in the hotel room's bathroom is a toilet with a control panel jutting out of one side, rather like the kind of thing starship captains have, which I find faintly troubling.

In brief(s)...

The newly re-enlisted ginmar was discussing military terminology and briefings...

I mean, seriously, this is designed to bore people so badly that they feel suicidal because, hey, at least that would be an event. And suicide notes tend to be more entertaining than this stuff. Hell, spontaneous human combustion seems like a cheerful alternative to briefings. And I'm just talking about the boring briefings, not the ones that are actually offensive.

We had an exercise one weekend and the instructions included phrase 'Erection using two-person team.' No, get your mind out of the gutter. There's barely enough room down there for mine, leave me alone.


Translate your typical romantic novel bullshit love scene into an army instruction manual, and this should give you an idea. Instead of 'throbbing manhood' you'd have "Part No. 7GIOHBABY ATTACHMENT, SERIES NO. 78E3839404EER(A1)). In order to prepare the Part No. 37OHBABY RECEIVER ATTACHMENT, SERIES NO. 3949488585858777(AB 1-4) display EXHIBIT A (Pictures of Orlando Bloom, (if you're crevette) or somebody who's past puberty--if you're me) and proceed with operation till completion."

More of the post is funny, but it also does get rather serious later on as she discusses one of the more offensive briefings she encountered.
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    sleepy sleepy

(no subject)

krautboy in this post on Washington State law:

Slander of a woman: The Legislature has removed a provision from law that makes it a crime to slander a woman.

SWEET! In that case, I'd just like to say that all women in this state are drug-dealing whores who eat children. And they kick puppies.
  • Current Music
    dj TAKA - V (Long techno mix)

(no subject)

citizenjess thinks up of a new ending for SW: Empire Strike Back in this post


Gee, are there any other astounding revelations I need to know about?

(because he claims he had sex with Padme too)

Look, you were never around, Anakin, and she was practically throwing herself at me. Do you have any idea how hard it is to turn down even a moderately attractive human being when you've all but sworn yourself to celibacy?

Darth Vader

Yeah, celibate my ass ... literally.


Yes, well, I didn't hear you complaining when it happened.

For the entire thing, check out her post. XD
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    Slavi & Sofi - Edinstveni

Read if you'd like to be slain by laughter on Sages of Chaos...

More hilarity from sages_of_chaos, starring Midnighter, two Lobos, and Blue Beetle.

First, not one but two Lobos arrive at Sages last night (fraggin_bastich and the_main_man), and immediately start in on each other.

The Midnighter from the Authority makes an observation about the proceedings (I'm Metaquoting him, not me):

amillionangles: Better than up all night manhunting. At least this ends with an answer, instead of a mime hitting on you.

Then DC's Scarecrow arrives, prompting Hawkwoman to comment on the alternate versions of the same character arriving on Sages:

hawk_shay: So that makes one evil one, one "I'm-reformed-and-really-emo" one, and one... that has yet to be seen.

Blue Beetle chimes in, saying hello to the Scarecrow:

brilliant_bug: Hi. Stay in Arkham. Blah blah, don't bother, yatta yatta, with love, Blue Beetle. 'Kay thanks bye.

Last night was a great night on Sages.
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    amused amused

Popping my metaquotes cherry...

"Puss n' Boots makes me lick my crotch with passion."

Made on a Kitty application in a rating community.. This was part of the "Who is your role-model" Answer... :P

Linkage: http://www.livejournal.com/community/thedoll_house/204108.html?view=2589004#t2589004

ETA: I DO have permission from the original poster. And the post is locked.. SO here is the paragraph from which the quote was taken... :

"Who are your role models and why?: Mommy...........Puss n' Boots....and Mommy!. Mommy feeds me and anyone who feeds me can't be that bad. Puss n' Boots makes me lick my crotch with passion."
Sarek of Vulcan

(no subject)

In the comments to this post comes this bit of ROFLy goodness:
*Vader breathing* Luke . . . I am your . . . OMG A BABY PENGUIN SO CUTE!

Luke: . . . Mom?

Vader: Well . . . yes.

(ETA: there's a discussion in the comments about a fixed typo. Please ignore.)
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    amused amused
Little Britain: Computer says no

(no subject)

emesser on the mysteries of life, death and…toilet paper.

“…we have cute frolicking puppies on our bog roll. Seriously, whose bright idea was that? Some executive at Kleenex suddenly decided "I know! Puppies! Nothing screams 'clean bunghole' to me like playing puppies!”
Sarek of Vulcan

Getting in touch with your inner bitch...

From a locked post of winifred's, QWP:

"How was I supposed to know you were waiting for this space?!"
"Uh, I was signalling. AND I was right there [pointing again]. Everyone else driving by saw me but you. Get over it."
"God, what a BITCH."
"Yup. Now get over it."

(ETA: That's Winifred speaking second, in case it's not obvious from context.)
  • Current Music
    Aladdin playing in the background

(no subject)

From a user who wishes to remain anonymous:


And now: Gay Marriage!

I am thrilled about this for exactly one shallow and easily-amused reason.

All those homosexual couples out there. And you just know, every few couples, Partner A has been saying for YEARS "Well, honey, I'd really love to marry you, but you know, it's just so damned illegal, so really, we should keep this an open relationship and..."

So now, there's Partner B, brandishing the newspaper. "Look, sweetie! Now we can FINALLY get married!"

And all over this great land of ours, Partner A just paled.

And that, my friends, that right there is worth one big shiny gold star.
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    amused amused