Metaquotes

I've been reading some excellent reviews of HBP from a non-Potter reader.

"And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." I mean, really, is he auditioning for Cats or something? Why not just add "of doom" to every third noun while you're at it?

From mike_smith, in this post about Chapter Three.

Seriously. Dude. This is the hat Luna Lovegood would wear if she'd been sorted into Slytherin.—wikdsushi, here...

Sushi, talking about a hat she just finished knitting. ^—^

muppetfromhell, in comments here:

Am I the only one who sees HBP and reads HPV? I swear, it makes the whole story take on a new, seedy life, with promiscuity, danger, and gross little sores.

In a flocked entry, quoted with permission, sarsalot bemoans her unselfish mothery instincts

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This isn't supposed to happen, people. I'm seventeen. I should heartily dislike, nay, despise anything younger, cuter, louder or more demanding than myself, and this most definitely includes babies. *bangs head against wall* Hell, it even includes kittens. (to be fair, I dislike grown up cats as well.)

the inimitable scott_lynch intercepts some images from a chat between JK Rowling and a disappointed fandom, here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/scott_lynch/139991.html?#cutid1

It's a collection of large images with text in them, instead of actual quotable text, so click the link, I don't want to rape his server. oh and there may be ship spoilers okthxbye.

Okay, you can, but I'll stuff them all in one post to be merciful.

First one stays uncut, because it's not only non-spoiler, it's a warning against them. From pretzelcoatl (actual post/replies may still contain spoilers):

People who haven't read Harry Potter 6 yet (i.e., most of my friends): Geez, this sucks. We're going to carefully avoid being spoiled.
Internet Assholes: LOL SPOILAR!!!
Half of Friends: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Rest of Friends: Geez, I'm just going to keep off the Internet. I have a less of a chance of being spoiled h--
Time Magazine: LOL SPOILAR!!!
Rest of Friends: ARRRRGGGH RAGE!!!

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ayellowbirds: I think a "huzzah" is appropriate here. So, huzzah! What the heck does that mean, anyway? I know the origins of "zounds" (and that the majority mispronounce it), but as for the rallying cry of Rennies, i'm stumped.

peaseblossom03: I believe it roughly translates to "I want to sound too much like a rennie to use any more appropriate word to express my joy."

cygna_hime commenting in this Thread on slash in ancient classic works - which incorporates caveman fanficers, which must be read.

God, I love classicism. It's like fanfiction, only reputable. But still with all the wild ass sex. Of all varieties. So, if I say, "I'm carrying on a two-thousand-year tradition!" or, "I'm studying classical literature!" what it really means is, "I'm reading slashfic about the boys in my icon!"
[She has Achilles and Patroclus as an avatar]

On customers_suck, madamenilef works at a mortuary. On this thread, she and leopardprints discuss how dead bodies don't creep them out.

madamenilef: What, so they're scary cause they're cold and unresponsive? That's me half the time anyway.

leopardprints: Yeah, it's not like they follow around after you going, "Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains..." or anything.

typicrobots reacts to a locked post on Russell Crowe's musical career in zarahemla's journal:

"Oh, Russell Crowe. Being a large, asshole-y Australian man does not make you a legitimate musician. It makes you... Mel Gibson."

slipjig shared with us here and said:

Welcome, class. Today's lesson: The Effects of Shaking the Pepto Bismol Bottle While the Cap Is Loose. Also covered in this session: the paintings of Jackson Pollock. Oy. (In the bedroom, no less. The place looks like Strawberry Shortcake was shooting a porn flick or something.)

In a locked post by jezeroth regarding the movie Agent Cody Banks 2:

"I thought it was a Disney low budget made for TV movie. Hell, it was worse then those wretched LIFETIME made for TV movies. "A movie about the portrayal of a woman on the grip of despair fighting desperately for her child/love/mother/brain/daisy against all odds." You know, one of THOSE."

Over with our feminist friends, some talk about the presence of Jesus around us:


"Thanks for discrediting all of the anti-sexist men in the world in addition to spouting your misogynistic bullcrap. Jesus christ in a pickle jar." -- odd_duck_out


"I agree, but why is Jesus in a pickle jar???" -- daniels_pengies


"What's wrong with pickle jars?" -- odd_duck_out


"Nothing at all, but I'd freak out if Jesus was in MY pickle jar...For that matter, I'd freak out if any major religous figure was in my pickle jar...except for Buddah, that would just be really cool." -- daniels_pengies


"I see it as a more incorporeal thing. Jesus is in all the pickle jars." -- odd_duck_out


"Hmm I never really thought of it that way...is he in all cookie jars too???" -- daniels_pengies

On a CNN article about Windows Vista and its "friendlier user interface", shortsweetcynic says:

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*locked post -- QWP. You know the drill.

esotaria has had some annoying moments with the world of finance.

"God damn motherfucking money. I'm buying things with seashells from now on."

In this post, a new and rather amusing law is bypassed:

gal_montag: Well who wants to be a drug dealing whore?
forceofhobbit: Me! Me!

. . . then again, I'm called a whore on a regular basis. Being accused of being a drug dealer would be nice; it would imply that I have some money.

In which the White House Press Corps grows a pair:
White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan: Dum de dum, the press corps never asks tough questions, just another press gaggle for me! Oh, hey guys!
Press Corps: Hey Scott! How they hangin'?
Scott McClellan: One lower than the other! HAHA!
Press Corps: HAHA!
Scott McClellan: So what can I do for you?
Press Corps: Oh, nothing much. Just hold these bright red targets over your chest and on your genitals, please.
Scott McClellan: Sure, no problem!
Scott McClellan: ...
Scott McClellan: Wait, what?
John Roberts: Lock and load, boys!
Helen Thomas: Dibs on the liver.

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sundancekid describes a conversation with her family.

Locked post, quoted with permission...

Driving through the middle of nowhere, just past the state line from Missouri into Illinois
Mom: Why is there no one around?
Brother: Um, because we're in the middle of nowhere?
Mom: Maybe the Rapture happened!
Dad: Look, there's a car. If the Rapture happened, who's driving it?
Me: Sinners.