cherish ... But I have decided that I am a victim of office burnout, plain and simple. EVERY job (but 1) has involved some degree of customer service, dressing for the job, having to restrict my hair choices, not being able to wear the nose piercing I'm getting re-done in 3 weeks, etc.
To which lots42 replied (and I agree) Every time you wear your nose peircing, God eats a middle manager.
I've known girls who've had their entire wedding planned out since the seventh grade; much like Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and why driver's license photos can make even supermodels look like three-hundred pound serial killers named Cletus, those girls baffled me.
-weaklingrecords in one of my locked posts, QWmyPWTFBBQ!
MEM: "Turn off the engine?"
ATC: "Do not turn off the engine. Your aircraft is carrying 283 passengers. You need to lower the flaps on the wings in order to reduce your ground speed so that you do not rash the plane."
MEM: "So I need to turn off the engine, right?"
ATC: "Please do NOT turn off the engine. 283 people will DIE if you turn off the engine. It is imperative that you *leave the engine running*"
MEM: OK, the engine is off. What do I do next?
--citizenbleys, comparing tech support with landing a plane, here.
Screw Helm's Deep, Gandalf and Sauron should have just had a really aggressive kissing match and sorted things that way*
*Yes, I am aware that Sauron is a giant floating eyeball and has no tongue to speak of.
...it was the footnote that got me. XD
And in a comment by bpcslave:
Battle of Tongues Deep. Mmmmmmm...
And Sauron could always use the Mouth of Sauron, you know. Just imagine the gaping-mouthed goldfish snog he could inflict...
Whole entry here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/fanficrants/891059.html
silvormoon: Why is it that EVERY fanfic I read where a girl gets pregnant, she discovers the blessed event by way of morning sickness? It's always the same darned thing: "Oops! I'm throwing up! Better go to the doctor. Hey, doc, what do you mean, I'm going to have a baby?" There ARE other ways to find out, you know!
raptorscribe: *has been throwing up this morning*
I'M NOT INSINUATING ANYTHING. I'M A DUDE. I'M JUST FREAKED OUT BY THE COINCIDENCE!
silvormoon: *falls down laughing* MPREG! MPREG!
Sort, but amusing. XD
(Scene: Singapore + worldwide live satellite linkups)
IOC President Guy: We have the honor to announce that the summer Olympics for 2012 are awarded to the city of...
Candidate city delegations: *hold breath & clasp hands like Miss America finalists*
TV audience: Come on, come on!
IOC President Guy: ...LONDON!
British delegation: *goes batshit crazy*
Trafalgar Square: *goes batshit crazy .001 second later*
France: *frustrated muttering, lighting of cigarettes*
There's more about how incredibly unsuitable Dallas is for the Olympics, but being batshit crazy Dallas, they went for it some time ago before it fizzled and evaporated like a Slurpee dropped on a Texas sidewalk in August.
Personally, I think the only people who would be offended by thefourthvine’s latest frothings are (1) people who can’t be bothered to spell and punctuate correctly and (2) people who don’t like fanfic and/or slash. And who cares what they think?
A few choice bits:
"Behold the comma...Isn't it cute? Doesn't it look like something you would like to take home and snuggle all night? Wouldn't you marry that comma if it was single? (It isn't; it and the period are in a long-term relationship. But it's an open one, so the comma is still available for a cheap one-night stand.)
Use both commas and apostrophes correctly or the bad scary punctuation demon will come for you. Would you wear a bra on your head and panties on your feet? Well, OK, I see your point there. Bad example. Because, really, who wouldn't?
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The entire post is here.
Well, I suppose you could, but it would remain a pile of poo regardless.
From this entry about crappy customers and their unreasonable demands on sign shop wageslaves.
you realize that the hole left behind by the absence of a person in your life, while it may hurt, hurts less than letting them fill that hole again.
Of course brought a Mexican over to take on the odd job of denuding the backyard of all life. When she actually got the guy to look at it though he looked like death would claim him if he disturbed the peaceful yet savage tranquility that was the jungle out back. (akin to various unknown diseases being discovered whenever the rain forest is cut down)
So she tapped into another, more powerful resource.
I go into Erni's bathroom, and pull back the curtain. I am hissed at by mildew that only could be duplicated by Jim Henson's Creature Factory. Suddenly my rage has a focus. I have witnessed Erni's mildew before. It's been discussed. Erni blithely claims to have no control over it. But today...it was going to die. I grabbed the bottle of high test mildew cleaner, and the scrubber. I told that mildew that it was going straight to Hell. I enjoyed it's dying screams. It occured to me that this must be a taste of how it feels to give into the Dark Side. It felt pretty damned good.
Fear leads to Anger (I'm afraid I can't pay my bills. And I'm really afraid to let this shower curtain touch my nekkid body.)
Anger leads to Hate (I hate that bank, and right now I really *really* hate mildew. Black...nasty...mildew)
Hate leads to Suffering (DIE MILDEW DIE! MUWAHAHAHAHA DIIIEEEE)
And of course...like most who tap into the Dark Side, I suffer. Thanks to the fumes of Scrubbing Bubbles, I may just be getting a throat infection. But ahh...the mildew is dead...
There was a gem in her comments too:
tripartite I sense much fear in you. *laughs*
teague That was some nasty mildew! It tried to take my lunch money! (I think it might have actually been on Ernesto's lease..)
periodically, i'll reach over to my right and try whatever she deemed "good for me". by this i mean i've tried Honeybear Organic Hemp & Flax bars ($2,95 and i didn't even get high!), Organic Fig Equibars (figs, caffeine, me, yeah.... y'all get the picture) and a various assortment of other "good for me things" with names as long as the alphabet. but this, today, takes the Health Food cake. [...]
today's pick was Greens+ express bar, ironically called "Blissful Berry". alright, i'm game to try something called Blissful Berry, after all, who doesn't want her mouth full of yummy bliss berries popping juicely along all the while ingurgitating Good For You food? i know i'm totally there.
except that when you open the package, a faint odor of dead rat emanates slowly from said bar.
and when you take a look at what you are going to put in your mouth, the consistency as well as the color of the bar is some sort of purple/green/puke/goo color....
this did not bode well.
since this Good For Me bar apparently cost $3,50 and that my boss actually paid for me, far be it from me to throw it out at the first two signs of warning. why do that when i can actually shove it in my mouth to prove to myself and the world exactly how adventurous i really am!
and so i did.
one bite. one bite is all it took for me to promptly feel like i'd just eaten a pile of molten dog poo mixed in with raw ostrich eggs and carrots.
the look on my face was apparently enough to make the person standing next to me ask me if i was "alright?".
as a matter of fact, no, i was not alright. i think i died a little at that moment.
[see the whole post in glorious technicolor]
From the journal of mareserinitatis, on outfitting her husband for a job interview:
Of course, for $130 worth of new clothes that I made him buy, he better look sharp. The only other dress clothes he had screamed "Fifties engineer in search of a pocket protector". This set screamed "I could be a banker and financing your ass". Hee, hee.
Note: I am not a lawyer, this is not intended as legal advice, this is not necessarily accurate or valid, I could easily have screwed it up somehow, I'm rather good at screwing things up, much better than I am at ice-skating, which is hard because the ground is not meant to be slippery, but ice is hard in general, I know because I fall on it a lot when I try to ice-skate, three to the third power is twenty-seven, pass the potatoes please. OK, the disclaimer looks long enough now.
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The full rant is worth reading here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/biomekanic/289773.html
"Jurist" comes in handy as a synonym for "judge," but keep in mind that many consider that a loose usage. The primary meaning is "legal expert or scholar." The distinction could become important if, say, a partisan hack with little knowledge of the law were up for a seat on the bench.
I am all for free speech and all that junk, but only as long as it DOES NOT INFRINGE ON MY RIGHT TO READ GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT MATERIAL.
Too true. (:
After a few words about Kuja, and my own post compairing him with Zhang He:
rezo_eris: Aint this wacky? We've been subject jumping from Kuja to Lark to Kefka to Kuja yet again! It's madness!
very_verydanger: We're all a little mad here. >D
Check the particular comment thread out here!
"When Shakespeare said "To be, or not to be? That is the question," he'd've saved a lot of time by replacing "that is the question" with another question mark. I mean come ON. Did anyone else catch that double contraction? Wow, I impress myself!"
-stweep (in his latest post)