July 5th, 2005

SHout at me later - by IconsbyCurtana

Something about Pee.

pretindie aspires to be a superhero, when her movie theatre is under attack by the Bathroom Bandit.

Hot Boy That I Can Now Get Because I Am A Foxy Crime Stopper: So what did you do today, Lani?
Me: Oh, you know. Sold some movie tickets, ate a little popcorn, captured The Bathroom Bandit.
Hot Boy: Um. What was that last one?
Me: Captured The Bathroom Bandit. He's like this really creepy guy who listens to women pee.
Hot Boy: Ew.
Me: Yep, I got him. With my bare hands. He was all, 'One for War of the Worlds.' And I was all 'UH HUH. SUUUURE. HERE. IS. YOUR. TICKET.' and he was all, 'Thank you I-want-to-run-away-with-your-pee.' And then I called the police!
Hot Boy: Wow! Go you!
Me: Yeah, I am pretty much a superhero.

Go and read the rest, tis awesome.

If Jonathan Crane Were A MasterCard Commercial

The indelible Cillian Murphy fangirl, elsalai, has this to say about her favorite actor's role in Batman Begins:

If Cillian’s life were a MasterCard advertisement, it’d read like this: Glasses of utter sex, US$120; Suit of utter sex, US$303; College fees for a degree in psychology to impress the ladies, US$30,000; Look of sheer insanity while in a straitjacket, PRICELESS.

Quoted from her extremely long movie recap, part 6. She also has images to go along with it.

Hm...should definitely make a Mastercard commercial riff like that Shoujo Kakumei Utena spot.
  • Current Music
    The Killers - Somebody Told Me

(no subject)

Another installation from my hilarious friend entrancingpants

Today's Episode of "Kandy goes WTF!!" is brought to you by Plastic McCheeses! Genitically engineered Dairy Products since 1952.

Mother: "By the way, I went ahead and scheduled you to have your wisdom teeth taken out."
Me: "Oh...uh, when?"
Mother: "Thursday."
Me: "...THIS Thursday? July 7th Thursday?"
Mother: "Yep."
Me: "WTF!!"

So I guess I'm having my wisdom teeth out in three days! Oh well. I really don't care, I've already had oral surgery twice, it's just, ya know, sometimes I like to know about these things.

I mean, what's next?

Mother: "Kandy, I think your leg is broken."
Me: "MY leg? This twisted and mangled leg HERE?"
Mother: "Yep."
Me: "WTF!!"
when silly thoughts go through my head, she don't use jelly, i shall never grow old

(no subject)

ADDENDUM: There is this story on the news. Rev Fred Phelps and his wankjob church believe that God is punishing America. For accepting homosexuality. By killing our soldiers in Iraq.

Holy Sunnava Bitch Bunny Fuck. These people have prayed themselves into a profound and perpetual stupor. Y'know why our soldiers are dying in Iraq? BECAUSE OUR PRESIDENT STARTED A WAR. Who's exactly being punished here, huh? Wait... is GOD only killing our soldiers? I thought... a few Iraqis were dying too? Are they being punished for being all YAYHOMOS too, or just being punished for being heathens*? Because I think the Middle East is just one big Gay Pride Parade... people ponce around in rainbow colored burquas singing "It's Raining Men" in between being airbombed and overthrown. And, well fuck, everyone in America accepts us queers, doncha know. But it's nothing compared to the disco heaven of the Cradle of Civilization.

- ladydreamer
  • Current Music
    Modest Mouse- One Chance
cosmo_mouse // hugh


jaytee3 sheds some light on a rabbit owner's conundrum involving HoYay! mock-mating rituals over in baaaaabyanimals:

Something tells me there's not much you're going to be able to do about that little problem. My suggestion would be to love them for who they are, whether gay or straight. Your bunnies will need your love and support as they suffer backlash and abuse from bunnies who may not be understanding of their sexuality. Just stand by them and from time to time, wear a small rainbow pin. Let them know that they have your undying support. You'll make it through this.

The original post is here, the actual comment thread is here.

(no subject)

"Batman Begins rocked.

It rocked harder than Kiss rocking their rockingest in rocking chairs atop a big rock surrounded by other big rocks while having rocks thrown at them.

Thoroughly impressed.

Taken from a locked post of someone who wishes to be left unnamed.

"Ten Things I've Learned from Anime"

crumpeteer posts her take on "Ten Things I've Learned from Anime" here. They are all worth a look, but my favorites are:

4. Keep it in the family. If incest was good enough for the ancient Egyptians, it's good enough for everyone.
5. If you get a death speech, make the most of it. In fact, try to drag it out several episodes if possible.
  • Current Mood
    content content
John, love

From redtweed's lj

(Serhiy is an international student from Russian that my friend had only been dating a very short while at this point)

Serhiy isn't like other people
That is to say any number of things, but there's only one I want to get across. We went out again for lunch on Friday, at which time he felt the need to disclose life isn't really worth living or that followed by "I like you so much it is sometimes scary to me."

Serhiy: Is it alright if I stare at you?
Me: No.
Serhiy: No? But why not?
Me: It's creepy.
Serhiy: Creepy? Ah, this is the word my English teacher used.
Me: Why?
Serhiy: I stared at her, too.

Fun with Fundies

This isn't a quote from her actual LJ, so I hope it counts. conscience responds to an idiot who gives her grief over a DemonKidz Doll she's got up for auction on eBay:

Idiot: Children are angels from heaven, there is no such thing as an evil child, this is sick.

conscience: Children are from heaven, I agree. This base used for this doll, however, is made by Berenguer. Please re-read the disclaimer.

Referring post is here.

ETA: Oops... shit. Just re-read the rules. Um... Can I? Just this once? It was too good to pass up. *whine*
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
SciFi, amused, mischievous, silly
  • cmzero

This must be how Ben Franklin discovered electricity.

howardtayler (author of Schlock Mercenary, which I highly recommend for any sci-fi fan) discovers that his son wants him to slay the monsters outside with his trusty blade. Not a great idea when the "monsters" are lightning bolts...

Don't think for a minute that I'm going to head out into the next thunderstorm and wave a four-foot length of high-tempered carbon steel around under the trees. Sure, I've got a sword. I've got three or four that would make very servicable weapons. But these thunder and lightning monsters, like the spiders I'm mortally afraid of, don't fight fair. If I succeed in engaging one with my blade, that won't be the "thrill of victory" coursing through my veins.

In the name of science

In my journal, I wrote that I didn't want to write about my work activities nowadays, since those would be as boring to any reader as watching paint dry. active_apathy decided, in a somewhat lengthy comment, to illustrate. I'm giving only a snippet here: The whole thing is hilarious, and includes bonus commentary about idiotic astrology.

5 seconds: Wet.
10 seconds: Still wet.
15 seconds: Still wet...
52 seconds: Still wet. Boredom imminent...
13 minutes, 5 seconds: Still wet. Using research grant to hire movie...
2 hours, 31 minutes, 54 seconds: Still wet. Considering nap.
2 hours, 32 minutes, 23 seconds: Still wet. Commencing nap.
3 hours, 14 minutes, 11 seconds: Still wet. Nap very refreshing. Hand-shaped area of paint missing. Off to wash hands.
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful