July 1st, 2005

Kushiel's Legacy: Rainbow Love.

The pinnacle of customer service.

active_apathy, in a long comment thread, wherein we were discussing my irritation at a customer who was making impossible demands:


I admire your restraint in not having him shot dead.

It may not be very good customer service, but it'd surely advance the queue. "You have advanced in the queue. You are now forty-seventh in the queue. Please hold the line.
...
Customers seven to thirty-two have been shot. You have advanced in the queue."
  • Current Music
    Alanis Morissette -- 'Purgatorying'
saggital

Noonan Strikes Again

windbringer1's biopsychology professor returns. Don't read these while drinking anything...

This is a semester's worth of Noonan quotes, from the last of his classes I ever had. Focused on pregnancy, childbirth, and other sex-things like it. Unless noted, all are from the great Noonan himself.


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  • Current Music
    Edward Evans - Business Song
Jo/Laurie: Sexy Times for Sex

Harry Potter and the Imperiled Chocolates!

This comes from a rather old but still priceless side debate on Dumbledore from AJ Halluck's LJ.

Boiten Valise: Dumbledore has always been accepting toward muggles. He took a "muggle" view on house elves, and he is known for liking muggle sweets and trying to protect them.

AJ Halluck: I can't remember the scene where he threw his body between Voldemort and the Lindt chocolate assortment, but I look forwards to finding it.
Fabricati Diem

On reassigning Star Wars identities to the Firefly cast...


angstslashhope: :D well it sure made sense to me! until i tried to assign characters to the rest of them, and it turned out wash was simon's father and all got very confusing but wash got to shout "yippee!" and everything was all right again.

inbetweens: Huh. I'd have thought it more like:
Simon: Yeah, about that being-your-student-light-side-thing. Turns out I'm evil.
Wash: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
kiwi preparation

(no subject)

I haven't been paying attention to LJ for the past day and a half and let things get ahead of me... but damn! I thought the first two would've been quoted already...

The classic Ursula Vernon brings us this little verse:

Sing a song of sixpence
Pocket of hashish
Four-and-twenty mole rats
Baked in a quiche...




Someone asks about "jazz hands"...

vzg: Jazz hands = waving hands, palm out and fingers appart.
lafemmeluna: And then, of course, there's it's bastard lovechild: Spirit Fingers :-P
spookynoodle: And then there's the horribly mutated and deformed child: Salad Fingers.


Metaquotes star, active_apathy, visits my journal to bring me this gem when I was ranting about MS Word's spell-checker.

"That makes them very frustrated - and, let's face it, Microsoft isn't exactly a company that makes you think of sex. If it did, you'd routinely misplace the name of your partner, contraceptives would fail as often as they worked, and if you got a bit too rough about things your partner's entire face would turn blue and have cryptic error messages written upon them.

"You look like you're trying to get me horny. Would you like help?""
Whuh Huh?!

Ouch!


On Monday I'll be close enough to Trent Reznor to suck him. Of course I won't because, well, anything that Courtney Love has touched needs to be thrown directly into a blast furnace, which then has to be hit with a neutron bomb, and promptly propelled into the outer regions of space and, preferably, time.

And I have a boyfriend.

-- the ever-unusual raffish
Aziraphale & Crowley - Black and White

Two meta-metas, yay.

During a discussion of re-enacting the War of 1812 (Canadian-U.S. bit, anyway), astridsdream ponders the reaction to a second burning down of the White House here.

GWB: What do you mean it BURNED DOWN?
Secret Service: We mean it's a pile of ash, sir. Go see for yourself.
GWB: Who's behind this? Osama? Saddam? Gay liberal hippies??
Secret Service: Um, actually, we think it was Canadians, sir.
GWB: *boggles*
Secret Service: They do have a history of this sort of thing...


In the same thread, zanmistoffeles adds his own thoughts here.

Is it sad that *my* mind immediately jumped to Tchaikovsky?

And then it went, "Oh yes, White House went boom. Wif smoke. Now, CUE THE CANNONS! Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum...DING DONG DING DONG TRUMPETS! DAH DAH DAH DAH *explosion*"
Computer Alpha-Complex Paranoia Schol-R

(no subject)

cadhla has posted the lyrics to her touching paean to zombie lovers:

Some Girls...

Some girls like the vampires -- sexual simulation.
Some girls like the warlocks, all rituals and incantations.
Some girls like the werewolves, flirting with lycanthropy,
But none of those late-night creature features
Ever did a single thing for me.

Some girls like the swamp things, they say that gills have hidden uses.
Some girls like the psychos, they're seeking serial abuses.
Some girls like the phantoms, they want a lover clear as cellophane...
But if you wanna knock me clean off my head,
Baby, better rustle up the living dead
'Cause the only guy I wanna find in my bed
Is the guy that wants to eat my brain.

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It takes all kinds

Some people are revered worldwide for their knowledge. I'm apparently revered for my ability to provide screencaps of the naked feet of cartoon characters.

~one_more_cherry, in a locked post, quoted with permission.

The characters in question, btw, were Peggy Hill and Gadget Hackenwrench.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
me cartoon

(no subject)

steer: Don't you remember the discussion on another journal? We already know a milk donor and an egg donor. If we can find a flour donor we can make a cake!

drdoug:
I think we'll only be able to make batter with that lot. Which is cool but not quite as nice as a treat.

To make a donor cake we need a sugar donor too, and we need to churn some of the milk in to butter.

Hey - we could do scrambled eggs without needing further donors ... although I would much prefer to find a pepper donor to improve the flavour.


Here.

I'm the milk donor in question and I'm a little worried about the plan to churn butter!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Work

potatoes

From primrose's journal (she is Abbi, Mike is her husband):

Mike (doing homework): (clears throat)
Abbi (making dinner): “…did you say something?”
Mike: “Nope. Just clearing my throat.”
Abbi: “Were you going to say something?”
Mike: “If I would have said something, it would have been cursing. And I figure, if you can’t say something nice…”
Abbi: “Well, keep that in mind when you try these potatoes.”

  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Random - Trippy Colours

(no subject)

While perusing my Friends of Friends list, I found this little gem from urso.

I was just asked by a co-worker if Canadians get upset if you burn their flag.

My answer: "I think Canadians don't care as long as you have a receipt."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Sounds like my kind of religion

From a discussion in jeffla's LJ about Tom Cruise:

die7fox: That's one of the (many, many) things that burns my bacon about Scientologists. They seem to be incapable of explaining exactly what it is they do, what they stand for, or how they help people. Their argument boils down to "We're better than your shrink." They're masters of the Straw Man argument.

tygerversion: I think we should invent Gayology, and explain why we're all better than peoples wives.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Tsubasa, Syaoran x Sakura

I couldn't agree with the following statement any more :D

Hello everyone. First time quoter here! From an f-locked entry, isloveactually (who was quoted with permission) laments on the joys of commuting in our hometown:

But since I live like a block away from my work, it shouldn't take me 15 minutes to drive there. I used to ride my bike when it was a bit cooler outside, and now it would be pretty dangerous with the endless blood-sucking minivan driving lonely soccer moms all talking on like two cell phones while drinking coffee and painting their toenails. Gah..
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
if i'm lost for a day try to find me

animorphs<3.

lowrider in animorphs, here, talking about the Tri-Rex action-figure.

"Jake!"
"Rachel!"
"Tobias!"
"Cassie!"
"Marco!"
(And Ax)

"With your morphing powers combined, I am the QUAD-REX!"

"GOOOOOO QUAD-REX!"

o/ We're the Animorphs! (And Ax)
You can be one too!
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!
Invading and infesting, is not the way!
Hear what the quad-rex, has to say! o/

"The morphing power is yours!"


edit/ and then here:
Tobias sucks. Principal Chapman, thats where the action is.

All Tobias does is fly around and eat rats and blow up space ships and stuff.

Dont tell me that the bald head and the weasley attitude isn't a turn on. I would so become gay for him if he was real. Rar.


But I think you had to read the books to find it hilarious.