Metaquotes

Ganked from customers_suck , originally posted by redrightankle :

an actual conversation i had today while i was answering the phones..

me: ::normal greeting::
lady: yeah, hi. how do you make gray?
me: excuse me?
lady: well, i'm frosting a cake and i need to make gray icing.
me: ::is blown away by the stupid:: you mix black and white to make gray.
lady: can you mix any other colors? i don't have black.
me: ...i'm sure if you mix a bunch of colors together you might get a gray-ish tone.
lady: yeah but do you know what colors?
me: nooo...
lady: oh well alright then. ::hangs up::

...okay seriously? wtf? you're calling a supermarket to ask what colors to mix to make gray? i just...don't know about some people.

I just started my LJ, and one of my friends recommended evilfuzzymonste to me ... it's a liberal political journal with some funny articles. She wrote this one a while ago, but I think it's really funny.

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(Sorry if cuts and links are broken, I'm new to HTML - hopefully, they'll work, since I have a friend looking over my shoulder and correcting me.)


Emma

**Caution** Lots of naughty words, not work safe.
This post by naamah_darling got me giggling so hard that I woke people up this morning while dying. All this from a little random meme thing.

"Screw my hatred of links. I now present to you THIS. It is nothing less than the most addictive 'net toy since that game where you slap the penguin.

You just put in a word, and the Sloganizer makes you a nifty little slogan!

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In a fit of boring domesticity here, I commented "Now I've tried the bread machine and had a certain level of success I can buy yeast - not 'Yeats', as I just typed - and strong flour and have a shot at doing things properly".

To which my lovely friend itzcoatl replied "Yeah, I've tried using Yeats in place of yeast, but it makes lousy bread, unfortunately things fall apart, the centre cannot hold ..."

I got a small [?] that said: Your Dream Car Awaits...Click Here.

Of course, I didn't click because there is no way in hell that a piece of spam was going to give me a rocket-powered, floral-painted VW Minibus with a hover conversion, flux capacitor, and an oscillation overthruster. There is just no way. It would be cool though. Except who in their right mind would trust me with a time machine.

-- ion_duck

On wtf_inc, spookymj postS about a German meat toolbox. (Um, yeah.) Commenting ensues.

ewacat: My appetite has just died. :|
beeooll: totally.. that's the wurst
ewacat: I'm going to be a brat and say that's the wurst pun I've read all day.
beeooll: we'd better stop before someone tries to roast us.
ewacat: Hah. Puns are fun. Everyone else would just have to play ketchup.

And later...

christemo: Another reason why I'm vegan.
karolijn: ...so you don't have to eat meat from toolboxes?

Speaking of taking a walk in the neighborhood, this is my public service to local parents of small children:

Mommy: Come on, baby, let's go!
Munchkin: *dawdles, ignores Mommy, looks at shiny things*
Me: *gets behind Munchkin* Hey, baby, I'm gonna get you if you don't go with Mommy!
Munchkin: Ehhhh! *scampers away, goes with Mommy*

-- redmonster

In apocalypsos' entry, wherein she reproduced the Scientology audit* list of questions (which is in itself worth a look if you feel you haven't had your mind boggled yet today), ciara_belle contributed these words of wisdom:

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*I think that's the part of the initiation thingy the list is from - apologies to any Scientologists who know better. I am assured that the list is genuine, however.

surreality in this post in customers_suck about her trials and tribulations at a Mom & Pop video store.

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Found Condom Wrapper inspires much..um..well..you'll see.

But it was

loveandstrength 's comment that got me splorfling. :-)

 

*This entry brought to you by the letters D and G and your friendly neighborhood gothchick

suddenlydizzy *

apocalypsos has just seen Batman Begins:

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And a twothreefer.

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conuly, in the middle of a post about autism and deafness:

You know what?

Birdsong is overrated. Do you know what birds are singing? They're singing "Get the fuck out of here" and "Hey, baby, let's do it" and "I've got a great big tonker" and "OUT! OUT! OUT! OFF MY LAWN, PUNK!" and that's about it.

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snow_beast, here:

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catguy gets all advice column-y:

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fallenangelfish on the Matt Lauer interview of Tom Cruise and her commentary on Cruise's attitude:

"Matt, Matt, you silly little wog, you know so little compared to I, the great Tom Cruise. You should be silent and listen to me as I pass on my wisdom, because you are being irrespnsible not knowing the complete history of everything, especially when compared to me, who brings the joy of following the rantings of a crazy man to the entire world, and because of his teachings I now know everything, and am perfect. Oh you silly little Matt Lauer, if only you knew how little you seem to me! You're such a fool! Why, look at you, you won't even shut up and listen to my stupid opinions."

And also:

And btw, in case we were wondering what makes me so smart that I can have a good understanding of other religions, and be able to comfortably say why scientology is crap, well look, if Tom Cruise is the big expert of psychology that he thinks he is, then I am a fucking religious scholar ok?

I had a hard time figuring out what to metaquote out of this. The whole thing is pretty funny

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