June 21st, 2005

Joshua Tree

(no subject)

Quoted with permission from mklutz's journal. (A little dated, since I went out of town for a while.)

On an unrelated note, I get all freaked out when I'm home alone. Totally paranoid. If I even just had the cat here, I wouldn't be this bad, but you know... There's a steak knife in the sink and I keep looking at it and thinking "If I put this in the dishwasher, there's less chance that I'll get stabbed. ....But that means I have to empty the dishwasher."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

train_in_vain wrote a f-lock post about Historic Slash, and she and her friend got into an amusing thread convo about it, and whether it was better than MPreg fic or not, but her response made me laugh:

What would be funny would be if General Patton traveled back in time and got General Lee pregnant. They could have like, a Super General baby!

I'm sure the history geeks among us can get a fine chuckle out of that :)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
bsg - said the joker to the thief
  • djcati

(no subject)

karentraviss has mentioned before that all her best writing ideas attack her in the shower, and in this post she says:

Okay, I now have a whiteboard in my shower (well, not under the jet, but the other end) so I don't keep forgetting those great ideas and lines by the time I rush for a towel and then find a notepad.

My desk and every other flat space looks like an infantry training library.

I no longer remember what my normal schedule was two months ago, let alone last year.

I think I have to accept that I'm never going to rejoin normal society.
SciFi, amused, mischievous, silly
  • cmzero

chime geeks out in Japan (no better place).

Most of the entry is plain old annoyance at a principal who keeps trying to do Chime's job, but it gets amusing when said principal introduced another teacher and announced "He's 85!" as a matter of course.

How are you supposed to respond to someone telling you that someone else is eighty-five? Should I say "congratulations!" Should I say "How much more experience do you need to hit 86?"
Going Mad

Twofer, unrelated :)

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My fan letter for Kevin Smith would be: "Dear Kevin, you wrote Quiver, which was awesome and referenced Sandman and created Mia Dearden and made use of iambic pentameter, and you made Dogma, which was double-awesome and had Alanis and Salma as heavenly beings and Ben and Matt as fallen angels, so I think this means I have to marry you now, only you already have a wife, one who allows you to take softcore photos of her dressed up like Lois Lane and also to name your child after a Batman villain, so I guess you pretty much win at life completely. Plus you got to see Revenge of the Sith before us mere mortals. Go you and your bearded self! Love, Me."

-- sharpest_rose
Disapproval Face
  • mcity

(no subject)

Link.

terired: RP wars
The Fangirls Strike Back

A long time ago in an RP far, far away
trouble was brewing. The pokemon fangirls
were reaching out of their usual haunts
and stalking innocent RPers across the
internet. Rising up to stop this evil
were the moderators. Using their 'ban'
ability they fought to stop these
fangirls before they could ruin RPs
everywhere. However the mods are few
and the fangirls numerous...

honeysuckleblue: Mary Sue...I am your father.
Hufflepuff (By Foxglove_Icons)

darthmaligna spoils us all for "Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince" -- a selection


5. Will Draco redeem himself?
Yes, by stabbing Voldemort straight through the heart with his Hello Kitty vibrator.

6. How will Sirius re-appear: Ghost? Mirror? Painting? Other?
The book is going to start off with zombie!Sirius crawling out of the mud in the cemetary a la John Goodman in Raising Arizona. He will then proceed to eat all of Hagrid's internal organs from the least to the most vital. This causes Harry's scar to give him a refreshing tingling sensation.

-- get the full scoop here!
rickrolled

(no subject)

benthecube from here on something he'd pefer his partner never to see him do

On a completely unrelated topic (because I just couldn't work out how to flow into this extremely hilarious story from the previous topic), there is one thing that I would never want a prospective partner to see me doing; cleaning the shower. If they saw me pooping I could cope with that, that's just awkward, but if I were caught cleaning the shower I don't see that I could ever live down that kind of shame. Picture it: me, naked and freezing, half covered in shower-clean, nipples that could cut glass and genitalia that's retreated so far north I'm practically a woman, scrubbing mould and other biological matter from corners of the shower that I don't normally see thanks to being half blind without my glasses. If that didn't make any thoughts of sex with me unappealing then, my god, what would?
McGee geek (by mini_miss)

(no subject)

cbackson, dremiel, and meyerlemon write a novel:

Then Brother #2 vanishes, and Brother #1 thinks he's dead, so he enters an Orthodox monastery and engages in acts of conspicuous penance for many years until he attains vast spiritual prowess. Meanwhile, Brother #1 has gone off to Tibet, where he enters a Buddhist monastery and becomes a Kung Fu master. One day, word arrives that their ramshackle family estate has been invaded by bandits, who are holding their feeble father hostage and oppressing the peasants. So Brother #1 and Brother #2 leave their respective monasteries, overcome the bandits with their combination of spiritual powers and earthly ass-kicking, rescue their father, free the peasants, and go on to become a reknowned crime-fighting duo.

Only then they're like "Wait- we're Russians! What the fuck are we freeing the peasants for?"
bitch, Bernier

Haha. :D

(Quoted from a locked entry with a permission)

THERE ALL THESE 2 GINOS PLAYING BASKETBALL IN MY LANEWAY, AND ALL I HEAR IS

GINO #1: I'M ON FIY-AHHHH! *slams ball really hard*
GINO #2: OW MY FUCKING NOSE

OH GOD. I CRY FROM LAUGHTER.

-__pinkxbullets
  • Current Music
    Bad Religion - New America
saggital

oakenguy: foley artist extraordinaire

oakenguy has trouble with City of Heroes...

'City of Heroes' has a boggy area filled with undead and werewolves that I discovered yesterday. Because I can get off maybe ten good blows before I run low on Endurance, and there are usually 7-12 monsters in a group, I typically spend a lot of time doing hit and run attacks. Emphasis on run. Lots and lots of run.

Which is why that tranquil pool looked so inviting....until the glowing zombies rose out of it, all around me.

Which was the exact moment when Toby, who I didn't even know was under my chair, put his COLD PAW ON MY BARE KNEE.

If D asks, that girly scream was a game sound effect. Which, in a way, it was.
gull

(no subject)

From Krrayn in Techsupport

Getting sufficient information from a user to diagnose the problem is like summoning a demon. There's so much ritual and nuance that has to be followed in order to translate their layspeak into meaningful information before you can even begin to unleash your mad troubleshooting skills.

And every damn one of them speaks a different dialect.