June 18th, 2005

sunshine
  • tikvah

beautiful snarking

The ever-amusing and ever-eloquent elynne, in this comment to a recent post to dot_poly_snark about an exceedingly clue-challenged individual:

"As I replied to one of his posts (no, I don't have anything better to do right now, why do you ask?), it's like a trainwreck of LOL, and the EPA is out wandering around in their white suits with LOL-detectors, trying to figure out how to contain it when the LOL just keeps going and going..."

I'd link to the post itself, but there is a much larger context of multiple posts, so visiting the community and reviewing a bunch of recent posts would be a better way to get the context.
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    amused amused
picture

(no subject)

From my best friend magiclemonade! (Sam is Cody's boyfriend, fyi)

Cody's Freudian Slip of the Day:

Scene: Mom is sitting at upstairs computer when Cody enters, explaining how Sam's computer recently died because the motherboard melted due to extreme heat.

Cody: So it actually got so hot that it melted all of the sodomy...uh...sodoring together.

Cody's Mom: *strange glance*

Cody: *sheepish grin and sneaky exit*

That's all.
bsg - said the joker to the thief
  • djcati

from bad_rpers_suck

geeklovepoetry posts:

Board title: "APPED IN AIRPORT WITH CEREAL KILLER" (That's the entire thing. I didn't cut off the 'tr' in 'trapped'. Or, what I assume is supposed to be 'trapped'.)

Someone on the board mocked the creator for misspelling 'serial', and was hit with this genius rebuke:

CEREAL KILLER MEANS HES KILLED LOTS OF POPEL POOPY HEAD!")

*headdesk + facepalm*


guaxokatt: Wait a minute.. it's all starting to come together now! Cereal killers kill the people who are posted on the milk cartons!

darthadz: I could murder a bowl of cornflakes.

Um. I mean...
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    sleepy sleepy
cat teapot

(no subject)

rex_dart does a dork meme:

...I also have a replica of Darth Maul's [lightsaber] that I won by entering a fanfic into a contest. (That's right, I RECIEVED AN INFRINGEMENT OF GEORGE LUCAS'S COPYRIGHT FOR INFRINGING GEORGE LUCAS'S COPYRIGHT. I'M FIGHTING THE MAN, BITCHES!*)

...

*Uncle George, sir, I have been nothing if not irretrievably loyal to you. Every scrap of spare money I've gotten since I was but a youngling has gone straight to your wallet. Please don't sue me; I have nothing left to give.
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    amused amused
Don't Panic

Only Michiganders understand why Detroit is still lovable.

edoney has a lovely entry, a response to a news item about obesity, about why Michigan folks love Detroit in spite of it being...well, Detroit. It's all really accurate if you're from Michigan and deserves reading, but I found this bit too funny not to share.

Things like this crack me up. "Detroit is horrible...oh god, somebody just nuke it off the face of the planet before it spreads!!" ...and then articles like this come out..."despite being absolutely HUGE, the residents don't seem to display any of the usual unpleasant side effects of obesity. Scientists are BAFFLED." Mwah ha ha...what they don't realize is that all the violence, grime and god-only-knows-what in the Detroit river are breeding a super-human race of gigantic, blob-like people with no need for their arteries. It's evolution right before our eyes! - edoney
  • Current Music
    "Chewbacca" - DVDA
marguerite
  • arian

First post!

From the delightful Deathandsequins. Locked post, but I asked permission.


I remembered the quote by Mark Twain (well I think it was him): 'There are lies, damned lies & statistics.' I was thinking of posting it on one of the parenting communities that are typically inundated by people claiming that 63% of bottle fed babies spontaneously combust, 75% of babies that are fed solids before the age of 18 years old turn into giant beetles, blah blah blah...
GatackHero

Customers Suck? Try meeting Satan in a deli.

anti_nowhere experiences supreme bitchiness in a deli during a power outage. He deserves good karma:

Everyone is instructed to put down their groceries and leave the store. They are told they will be allowed back in the store to complete their purchases once power is restored. Sounds like simple instructions right? Yes they are. Everyone seems to be fine with this except Satan. Yep, she couldn't just take off the bitch hat for one minute and be reasonable.

Satan: "Well, I'd still like some service?"

*rolls eyes*

Me: "Ma'am I can't serve you because our scales are off and I can't weigh anything. The cashiers resgisters are also off and they can't put your groceries through."

Satan: "Can't you plug the scales back in?"

Me: *WTF* "No ma'am, all the power is out."

Satan: "Well, turn it back on. I'm a loyal customer and I want some service."

--whattabitch.

full post over here, ladies and gents.
Bitch Please

Don't fsck with astronauts, man...

From a thread about bboops23, a looney who thinks the moon landing was staged:

I seem to recall that Neil got mighty hot-headed with a guy who told him in person that the moon landing was faked. I wonder if we could convince him to start Jay & Silent Bobbing the people who say this on the internet.

Can you just imagine? I can.

*ding dong!*

"I'll get it."

*opens door*

"Oh my God it's Neil Armstrong!"

"Are you bboops23?"

"Ye--"

*PUNCHED!*

"Have a great day, son."

-- cheezdanish
TOS: By the laws of our people.

broncobabe007 makes with the funny.

Taken, with permission, from a locked post courtesy of broncobabe007.

My mind can be a very odd place. In my management exam I had to write about internationalisation, which lead to market entry strategies, which lead to acquisitions, which lead to inquisitions, which, naturally, ended up as 'No one expects a Spanish Inquisition'.
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    hyper hyper