Metaquotes

sister_wolf has been to see Batman Begins.

"I find myself in the odd position of being all BATMAN YAY! I should find fic now!!! and then realizing that I'm in the fandom already and have already read the vast majority of existing Batman fic. Dammit."

Locked post, quoted with permission

In this post, where whisperingstorm and a fellow eljayer are discussing the hideousness of Java:

d00d: Java sucks.
SprivinTocipra: my prof would give us an assignment and leave.
SprivinTocipra: We had to figure it out ourselves.
d00d: I really am going to throw James Gosling out the window.
d00d: After I'm done with Brian Kernighan, Dennis Ritchie, and Ken Thompson.
d00d: And Linus Torvalds.
d00d: And Bill Joy.
d00d: So many bastards to choose from. Why not just shoot 'em all?
SprivinTocipra: Aren't enough bullets in the gun.
SprivinTocipra: The damage function returns a missing parameter.
d00d: HAHAHAHAHAHA.
SprivinTocipra: And you have to shoot them ALL OVER AGAIN.
d00d: Oh god.
d00d: HAHAHAHAHHAA.
d00d: HAHAHAHAHHA.
d00d: AHAHHAHHAHAHA.
SprivinTocipra: :D

In response to this picture in wtf_inc about the kitten with two faces, beeooll writes,

I still think it's catty and two faced.

A weather report for California, courtesy cadhla
- - -
Water from sky?
Month = June. Yes/no? Yes.

June = summertime, and the livin' is easy. Yes/no? Yes.

Summer = that time of year when we bake and fry and work on our tans and the media tells us with all the solemnity of Moses coming down from the mountain that it's always sunny in California. Yes/no? Yes.

Here = California. Yes/no? Yes.

California = the Golden State, as in sun, as in sunshine, as in stuff that is not rain. Yes/no? Yes.

If all above = yes, then weather = ?

Weather = rain.

Rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain!

Rain!

Does not compute! Error! Who is driving? Bear is driving. How can this be?!?

...in other news, it's raining.

dysgr8mystake says here

See, you don't even want to know the real reason Yoda went to Dagobah.



Dude. He's a pimp. Yoda got him some fine-ass bitches he be pimping out to the swamp people, yo. Or... uhm... Bitches he has, fuck them you will, pay you will, mmm?

I made me laugh

Context: ursulav is trying to get enough artwork done/together for an upcoming con...

....and yet, far down in that hollow cavern under my breastbone, the one that fills with the sensation of thousands of small screaming animals clawing their way to the top of the heap when I suffer the anxiety of doing my taxes or filling out student loan paperwork, or smell a Con on the horizon -- far down in the bottom, heretofore empty, a lone tiny animal just trudged into view. It is a vague, nondescript, rounded little animal, a colorless hamsterish Anxiety Creature, eyes squeezed tightly shut, with stubby limbs and tiny, scratchy little claws.

And it just screamed.

The pre-con panic begins.

EDIT: Now illustrated!

---

Have had to swab cheeks for gene samples for this study I signed up for. It's to attempt to find if the genetic factor (if any) for mathematical ability. Test + gene test. They sent ten swabs and you were supposed to use them all. (I dropped one. Whoops.) How much genetic matter do these people need? Or is 'gene study' now Cambridge code for 'building our own clone army'? If so, how long before we get to break away from the rest of the Republic UK?

-- jenlittlebottom

queensheba, in a f-locked post, says:

And their supervisor has this unusual speech pattern where everything he says sounds like he's pissed. Imagine "I LOVE YOU!" (menacing angry voice) "YOU DID A GREAT JOB!" (menacing angry voice) "WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR LUNCH?" (menacing angry voice). So you can never really tell when he's angry or not - it's like he was taught to speak English by people who were chronically pissed off, and he only has one inflection.

I swear, I've worked with this person.

Yesterday, an attorney was going down in flames during an appellate argument, one appeal ahead of me. The courtroom began to rock and sway, as a mild earthquake hit. The Court said "wait a minute", and we all paused expectantly, rollicking to the big beat. Then the Court noted the earth-shaking nature of the argument, and proceeded on with the docket.

Link here.

As spoken by bondles on techsupport

http://www.livejournal.com/community/techsupport/703072.html?thread=5027424#t5027424

I know it's not - and I don't usually do it. People who can't find their shift key, or occasionally misplace an apostrophe, annoy me, but I let it slide. But when an unpunctuated sentence is actually difficult to read, I gotta call that out.

Sometimes it's just important. It's the difference between helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

sorenlundi:

In a bizarrely Art Frohm style scenario, I nearly lost my shorts walking home from the grocery store. In future I must remember to:

1. Wear a belt.

2. Not buy celery.

From this thread on nouglybabies.

evergrnterrace: And yes, little trolls eat waffles, nuggets, ice cream, and anything tyhey can find inside the vacuum bag(where you put them when you are busy.)

cassandrakfreaq: I have a bagless X-/

evergrnterrace: you are a horrible mother!!!! You should be shot!! twice!!!

pegkerr has strong opinions about her workplace.

I took a walk across the Stone Arch Bridge over the Mississippi River. The sky was so achingly blue, and the air so deliciously fresh after all our morbid weeks of rain, that it was unbelievably hard to turn my steps back. As I approached the office, I had a strong urge to whip out a rocket grenade launcher and reduce the building to smoking rubble so that I wouldn't have to go back to work.

But then it occurred to me that I had left my purse up at my desk and so it probably wouldn't be wise. So I left my attorneys to live another day.

Next time, I'll take a fanny pack, so there'll be no reason not to go ahead. Then they're toast.

coffeeandink:

You could call science fiction my escape, but if so, mainstream fiction was my prison.

This is from an essay called Feminism and manga & anime: A personal history (it's the first part of three). If you're interested in any of those topics, go and read it!

A fandom_wank comments metaquote. JournalFen's allowed here, right?

Context (you don't really need it, since the comments begin with the quote that sparked it off)

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Welcome to the great literary tradition!

In response to a post in scans_daily regarding the art of watercolors..

_inbetween_ :  *nods* been posted before. Pshaw, that's work-safe in my vocabulary ;P

mattq :  You must have an interesting job where you can look at watercolors of Batporn.

Regarding a post pointing to a (religious-right sponsored) online poll mrgreenears says:


Mr. Speaker, as this online referendum clearly states, the vast majority of Canadians are opposed to same-sex marriage. In fact, I recently conducted a google search for "same-sex marriage" and I got more hits opposing the idea than supporting. Parliament should stop wasting the Canadian people's time and move on to more important issues. An online referendum conducted eight months ago, Mr. Speaker, has shown that 67% of Canadians think that Hilary Duff is hotter than Lindsay Lohan, yet the Minister of Internet Affairs has done nothing! When will the Minister do what is right for Canadians and ratify these results?

In response to a Batman discussion on my lj, neadods describing Batman's character:

To steal a quote from the animated universe, "I have issues. Lots of issues."

Bruce, dear, you have several subscriptions in bound back volumes, lovingly polished once a week is what you've got.

Link here

rikoshi is a regular playwright, as shown in this post at fanficrants.

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castlemew in this entry quoted with permission.
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"In an attempt to keep my hair out of my eyes I recently invested in hair pins.

Me: Ah ha! Take this evil monster! *Stabs with hair pins*
Hair: Huh, what's this? Oh, a tiny piece of plastic and metal? YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT US WITH THIS, PUNY MORTAL? Ha, I tell you HA. Huh. Ah. *chews up hair pin and spits it out*
Me: Uh oh...
Hair: *Eats face in vengeance*

Sigh."

-- enigma_o

There was an entry, and the cut text read "Cut for length and Anne Rice"

Whereupon we see...

ldymusyc: *snork* I think all of my LJ-cuts are going to involve Anne Rice from now on.

active_apathy: The cut text is copyrighted. It upsets me terribly to even think about LJ-cuts with my cut text. I advise my readers to write your own original LJ-cut tags with your own cut text.

It is absolutely essential that you respect (my wishes).

grimlock88 relates the one things that brings gamers together, a shared experience of complete and utter obsession.

*edited for 2 minor grammatical nuances*


Every gamer must have experienced this at least once in their lives -
when the moment is all and you can only think of the next strategy, the
next plan, what enemies lurk within the gloom. You don't feel hunger or
thirst, nor do you remember your need to go to the bathroom. If it
weren't built-in to your subconsciousness you would forget to breathe.
As long as there is no respite, as long as there is nothing that would
make you stop to even think about anything else but the simulated
experience before you, you simply continue playing. You are a pod
creature.

Most games did not contribute too much to this
syndrome of sorts since games always take breaks. Game would have
levels where you can stop to see your scores, perhaps nip out for a
bite to eat then return. With MMORPGs, there is no stopping. The
monsters just keep on spawning and spawning...the levels get higher and
higher. There is no plot. There is only the hacking and slashing, the
cries of the dying and the dead. You click and click to send bolts of
lighting shooting from the heavens or to call up potions that restore
life and ensure a few more minutes connected to worlds that may never
exist.

The entire post here, sans editing. :D