June 13th, 2005


(no subject)

lazatiger comments on work in the morning. From a friends locked post with permission.

Now I'm going to go prepare for work tomorrow. I need to conjure up some willpower somehow. I really hate my job.

If only life were simple, like Morrowind. I would only need to sleep. +5 WILLPOWER

And eventually I wouldn't need a job, because I would be a powerful sorceress. People would be shocked. WTF HERE'S $10 PLEASE DO THAT AGAIN. See?
manuscript angel

(no subject)

From the community, userpicks which is also really amusing in its own right.
From this post about an icon going "Here's a Vader, there's a Vader, and another little vader...vader, vader..DARTH!" (ref: the Llama song):
nekoama:And the second line would be:
Vader, Vader, Deathstar, Vader, Kidnapped Princess Leia, Vader, Has a red lightsaber, Vader, Vader, Vader, Darth.
visp:He was once a slave-boy, he lived in a hut, but he met 'ol Sidious, and now he is a nut.
He was only one young guy, but he killed them all, and now listen little child, to the Vader-call.
Mad Stylin Yo!

It's Monday, and that means...

Another ljdq metaquote! In the depths of this thread about LOTR and Tolkein's crappy writing, our lord chaosvizier speaks thusly:

One day I plan to create a new J.R.R.Tolkien, badder than before, using the genetic material of J. K. Rowling, Robert Jordan, Anne Rice, and Tolkien's dessicated corpse. I will call this creation Wankmaster T, and the pomposity of their literature will drive readers everywhere mad with verbiosity.

And then I'll have them run for Congress.

- - -

Go join ljdq! It's great fun for the whole family! Now with less Harrison Ford (but Sting still manages to sneak in each week, somehow)
  • Current Music
    Covenant - Bullet
|Point man+JGL|

(no subject)

quoted in ohnotheydidnt by silverpatronus about Tom Cruise

This just in: tom cruise is batshit insane, suffering from a midlife crisis AND so far back in the closet that he's in narnia (yeah, i stole that from somebody else. what! WHAT?!) i think he's got bangs now because he started losing his hair. let's see...we've got the motorcycle, the too-tight outfits, the trade-in younger beard and the 'hip' hairstyle and shades...classic mid-life crisis. for l. ron's sake tom, put your crazy back in.

  • Current Music
What's your superpower?

Meta's meta taste of meta....

From this metaquote about the Llama Vader song, this gem of a thread arose:

sigma7: Is that how it's told now?
lesleykajira: Is it all so old?
tinuvielchild: Is it made of Jedi juice?
lesleykajira: Yoda looks like mold.
sigma7: Now this thread is wearing thin.
atrypical: We've run out of crap.
lesleykajira: Time for us to move on now
sigma7: Ackbar: "It's a trap."

Conclusion: sigma7 wins at life.
  • Current Mood
    amused giggling like a fiend
misc: Peace

(no subject)

I made a post that consisted of this:

And we file this under, "E-mails I should never have opened."  From my godmother, who is also my cousin.

From: M___ H___ <email@msn.com>
To: Chaos <chaos.pockets@gmail.com>
Date: Jun 9, 2005 11:54 PM
Subject: interesting story....

"Did I ever tell you that your mom bought me my first vibrator...? "

To which darqstar had this to say:

Wow... you know, there's no International Coffee flavor for celebrating this moment in your life.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Sarek of Vulcan

(no subject)

jackwilliambell muses on the Jackson verdict....

The results are in and it seems Michael Jackson has made the same discovery as O.J. Simpson -- America has truly changed as a country. Because a rich black man can now buy the same justice as a rich white man.

Of course in Jackson's case there are reasons to wonder about the 'rich', 'black' and 'man' parts of the above...

(Edited: to correct typo that isn't in the original post)
  • Current Music
    llama llama

Shine on, harvest moon...

From doctorx on the current job market...

This was the heading of a company's online classified I found:

Nuclear Technologist

If I were an HR person looking for a nuclear technologist, I'd think I'd put at the top of my list "MAKE SURE THEY DON'T SHINE AND/OR GLOW!"

  • Current Music
    Blue Oyster Cult- with More Cowbell!
Firefly: River; Bible-fixing

(no subject)

In this entry, after predicting the impending spammage of metaquotes with MJ quotes, duia said:

"Poor Michael. I have to say, you could show me a video of him holding two forms of government-issued picture ID while cornholing an eight year old and singing 'Billie Jean', and I'd still think he was innocent."

A twisted Goethe gathers no gloves:

(1) My apologies for not Reading The Rules earlier. Sorry.

(2) a twisted redo of Goethe's Erkoenig for Jacko:

""O come and go with me, no longer delay,
Or else, silly child, I will drag thee away."
"O father! O father! now, now, keep your hold,
The Pop-King has seized me--his glove is so cold!"

Sore trembled the father; he spurr'd thro' the wild,
Clasping close to his bosom his shuddering child;
He reaches his dwelling in mire and muck,
But, clasp'd to his bosom, the infant was fuck'd."


And no, I didn't check to see if there really was an F0 rating. *eyedart*

kentamundo puts my crappy midwest weather situation in perspective for me... (from a flocked post, but it's my journal so I'm giving myself permission.)

I've kind of forgotten what thunderstorms are like. In the Bay Area we average about 3 thunderclaps per year. Not 3 storms, 3 thunders.

There was apparently a very weak tornado in San Francisco earlier this year, though. An F0 if I remember. Roughly the same amount of damage as a kid running around in circles really fast.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
AoA Revolution

My first metaquote!

Am excited lykewo.

Found in scans_daily was the most succint explanation of Magneto and Professor Xavier's relationship ever.

As we saw in the last installment of What If... Magneto And Professor X Eloped To A Tropical Island? removed from any impertinent questions like "But, isn't he a registered terrorist" or "But, didn't he try to wipe your mind a couple times," Charles and Erik have been living in frighteningly domestic bliss. Unfortunately, the outside Marvelverse will *insist* on intruding eventually (most lately in the form of Erik's daughter losing a few more of her marbles and killing some friends, you know how it goes), and we're quickly reminded that theirs is a relationship that has difficulty surviving exposure to things like politics, inlaws, non-mutual friends, alien abductions, alien visitations, out of body experiences, cloning debates, history, personal history, mutual friends, past arguments, alternate future arguments, funny hats, UN council meetings, attempted homicide, successful homicide, successful suicide, the colour purple, ferrous metal, and, it wouldn't surprise me, oxygen.
mason jar

The wonders of Michael Jackson-related humor

I found this conversation between my friend abunchofcrap and one of her lj amigos quite entertaining. (Note: From a friends-only entry with permission, blah blah.)

abunchofcrap: hi
abunchofcrap: wait what's that mean
crazyfreakyaj: NOT GUILTY
abunchofcrap: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
abunchofcrap: *molests children in celebration*
crazyfreakyaj: it was weird they were like, letting white doves free!
abunchofcrap: cool!
crazyfreakyaj: whats that calling number john stamos advertises for
abunchofcrap: shit I forget
abunchofcrap: 1-800-MY-CAREER-IS-OVER
((self-made)) awwh wookit

(no subject)

First time poster, long time lurker. And although I am in the quote, I'm not the one making the funny. That's fine, right? It's worth it, I swear.

justanotherblue, reflecting on the absurdity of Fandom at Large, said here:

actualfiction: Me Tarzan.
Me: Me Bond, James Bond.
actualfiction: I die.
Me: Me Bond will have to snap over Me Tarzan's death after their frisky rompings.
Me: And then go all revenge-mode.
Me: And then a Mary Sue can come in and make it all better.
Me: The twist is? At the end he murders her, because now he's gay.
Me: It will end on a "Dun dun DUUUUUUUN" note.
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    happy snickering
pretty sunset

Such a way with Words

laisha says here:

Woo! I am now the happy custodian of my two newest darlings:

Words and Logic.

Words is the machete and Logic is the matte black beltknife. So now I really CAN use my words to make people bleed! WOO!

And thus it is that Words starts fights, and Logic ends them.
  • Current Music
    "Empire" Queensryche
jared eye

(no subject)

So bubosquared linked to [this post] in boy_touching with old pictures of Take That (a British boy band from the early 1990s). In the comments to [her entry], on the topic of Mark Owen, a member of the band:

I've seen him on I Love the Nineties a few years back, where he was not only camper than a bar full of drag queens, but also clearly wearing a shirt he stole from Elton John or something. He is adorable, and I want to pick him up and stuff him in my pocket and take him home.