June 12th, 2005

Monkey

taken from ur_xgrlfriend

seems her folks were having a serious political discussion, I for one couldn't agree with her stepmom mmore!

My friend: *eating crunchy taco from taco bell*

Her Dad: *watching news* Ya know, I've always voted democrat before, but I think I'm voting republican from now on.

Her Stepmom: *completely serious* You know if you vote republican you won't get in to heaven.

My friend: *spits crunchy taco all over table*
Lorrie, LJH, my default icon

(no subject)

From terminaldogma:

I have a sudden urge to adapt Machiavelli's The Prince to music. Not even particularly appropriate music, either. Just whatever comes to mind.

cue Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy."

My prince, it seems your task is great,
A throne unsettled and an infant state,
Don't worry!
Be happy.


Here
redgirl
  • almeda

My friend has weird dreams.

In this entry khavrinen tells of a recent dream of his that I found wonderful and hilarious. An edited taste (all ...s mine):
I had a dream in which, in the course of cat-sitting said kitten, I inadvertently ended up involved in a battle against the Forces of Darkness (TM). ... it wasn't until fairly late that I discovered who was responsible for messing about with the gates of Hell. That turned out to be the kitten's brother and his ally, a big white rat, who were hiding out in the space between my dryer's outer surface and the drum ... I'm not sure why they chose to hide there, when they were challenging for the Throne of Satan ...
normal

(no subject)

I don't know if you've seen it yet, but there's a scene where Angelina takes off her coat and she's wearing a vinyl dominatrix outfit underneath. My reaction was to frown in confusion and think, "That's funny, I wasn't a lesbian a minute ago."

-- Do I even have to tell you this is apocalypsos?

Footnote: And where I live, it'll be another month and a half before it gets here. *whimper*

The Tribulations of Lawn Mowing

-thistles are the toughest little bastards on the planet. I'm not at all surprised that the Scots picked them as their national emblem. You have to mow over them sum bitches about 3 times before they'll even pretend to be down, and even then, I'm pretty sure they're just lying there waiting to jab you in the leg the next time you come by. I hate them and respect them at the same time. Thistles, not Scots. Scots I just love and respect.

by maitheas in a post about mowing her lawn
  • Current Music
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R+J purple kiss

(no subject)

With permission from a friend's locked post in _iambic.

I appreciate the fact that I have an exceptionally mothering personality.


However, the next time I find a juice box and/or melted crayons in my car, someone's going to pay in blood.
Citadel

Listen. Listen closely. And, perhaps, if you are enlightened, you will hear the call of meta-meta...

herodotusjr in this post on just what can compel you to pull out a red lightsaber and put in some yellow-eyed contacts:

DECAF COFFEE IS THE DEVIL. You fill up your coffee mug and put cream and sugar and everything in and you're looking forward to the blessed rush of caffeine and then you drink it and you break down and cry because some asshat decaf-drinking waste of humanity got to the coffee maker before you did. And then you go and kill a whole bunch of younglings in your drowsy, disgruntled state.
Hand
  • miyyu

burrowing owls

mactavish is a bird-lover and she happened upon a burrowing owl recently. She shares amusing info about burrowing owls:

Burrowing owls are protected here (like most non-game wild birds) but they're incredibly easy to move. They use tunnels -- mostly existing ground-mammal holes -- to nest in, and when a developer finds out a site has owls, construction must stop. They find another site, sink PVC pipe at angles into the ground, and say, "Here owls, take these!" and the owls say, "Yay, holes!" and move into their new condos.

I am already picturing owl condos -- with homeowners meetings and everything.
rosethorn mist

On the joys of petsitting...

Scenario One
WALT THE CAT: Good morning! I'm fluffy, weigh about twenty-five pounds, and have a major personality disorder. I feel the need to wake you up. Is it okay if I put all my considerable weight on this single paw, which I will in turn press right into your larynx?

ME: Walt...ca...can't b-breathe...

WALT THE CAT: This might be a good time to discuss the dispensation of treats.


Scenario Two
COSMO THE DOG: Are you impressed by my manhood?

ME: You're a eunuch.

COSMO THE DOG: Well...there is that...I guess I'd better GRAB MY BED AND DRAG IT AROUND THE HOUSE SHAKING IT LIKE A DEAD ANIMAL! RAAAAAR!

ME: You are a total freak.

COSMO: Will you be my girlfriend?


-somniesperus, here