June 11th, 2005

Ahiru & Fakir text

eegatland on nurturing young alcemists in training. At least it's not pogs or HP wands!

Okay, all you Fullmetal Alchemist addicts, my children are now out on the patio trying to fill a transmutation circle with bugs. They're sitting crosslegged, facing each other over their chalk drawing.

Mark: NO, SARA, if you do that all the bugs will come!

Sara: It's okay, Mark, we can easily make them go away again. All right, are you ready? Three. Two. One.

In unison--excuse me, WHEN EXACTLY DID THEY PRACTICE THIS?--they clap their hands and slap them down into the circle.

Mummy: Oh, thank goodness, it didn't work. Maybe you didn't draw your transmutation circle properly. Get on with it, I have to go unpack the groceries.




link: here

And one of the more amusing replies--

rachelmanija: Make sure they don't try to resurrect dead bugs-- that could end badly.
cm

A couple of found_objects funnies

First, beta_dreams finds a plaster bust/cast of somebody's upper body.

deg_chick: Crack it open and see if there's a skeleton in there...Or better yet, A stash of naughty toys and drugs!
discotraxx: That would be the best pinata ever.
deg_chick:
"HAY KIDS! WUT U GET?"
"I GOT A HEROIN NEEDLE ^___^!!!!"
"12INCH ANAL PROBE ^___^"



Later, pierandocean finds two frogs shacking up in her watering can.

killbillydeluxe:
Do you think toads cuddle?

I mean is there an intimacy wall, a certain give and take and bond of even superficial trust that's built?

Do you think toads worry if the other will think less of them for being too eager and too open to the passionate thrust?

Or is all..."Hey baby, I spotted a sweet watering can.Let's make like monkeys!"

noisyevergleam: i don't know who lied to you, but toads don't make monkeys. they make baby toads.
dingaling

(no subject)

After I posted kit_ping  's musical musings on Roger Water's failure to see dark sarcasm as a teacher survival technique, active_apathy had this to say:

Roger: "Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone."
Teachers: "We wish you were here! They're like dogs. You can hear them from the dark side of the moon! The noise even echoes."
Roger: "...damn. You don't get enough money. Here, have a cigar."
Teachers: "And if you let 'em near sugar they go into a kind of interstellar overdrive."
Roger: "I'm lost for words. Kids weren't like that when I was at school."
Teachers: "Apples and oranges..."
Roger: "Um... I'm just going to run like hell. There's an Ibiza bar tht needs me." [Flees]

Monkeeeeeeey
  • eimran

I WANNA BE A NO BEBE ZONE!!

Some of us are the unlucky sort who get violently ill when we PMS. achalasia is one of these people (Note: THe entry here is quoted in an open entry of my friend's more-private journal. So, I list her "public" journal. If this is a problem, let me know--I'll talk to her and get definite permission to list the ACTUAL journal this is out of)

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and there is death

Awww

Speaking of old men with whom I am inexplicably in love, I saw my old history lecturer the other day, looking exactly the same as he always does -- that is, with his mouth hanging open, staring into space and with a singlet clearly visible through his shirt. And bird's nest hair. And his fingernails are very reminiscent of Christopher Lee's in Lord of the Rings. One day in a tutorial he was about to mark the roll, wrote the date at the top of the page and then just stared at it for about three and a half minutes. When someone asked if anything was wrong, he said: "Oh. I think it's my wife's birthday today."

- saltedpin (locked post with permission)
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Kushiel's Legacy: Rainbow Love.

Meta-meta-meta!

From this entry, which was about kelliemonster misreading 'Hufflepuff sex' as 'Heffalump sex'. The ensuing discussion included the sorting of various Winnie the Pooh characters into Hogwarts Houses. And then mhari said:


Tigger's a Gryff. "HaHA! I will climb this tree, because I can totally do anything. I am FEARLESS! FEAR NOT LITTLE ROO-- ohshit maybeIdidn'tthinkthisthrough."


*dies of laughter. And still hasn't worked out which house Eeyore belongs in.*
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GatackHero

chelkitty stikes again.

This time, her and a friend's reaction to Jessica Simpson's boots are made for walking video



omg its chellay: yanno what though? jessica can sing sometimes.
omg its chellay: but in this vid
cmhahtd31415: Yeah, she can.
omg its chellay: is just...she sounds like a dying cat.
cmhahtd31415: Yeah.
cmhahtd31415: HAHAHAHA.
omg its chellay: or a horny female cat.
cmhahtd31415: HAHAHAHAHHA.
omg its chellay: screeching and humping everything she sees.
cmhahtd31415: I think the latter was the intended effect. :-P
cmhahtd31415: I just wonder if the guy she's seeing these days (I don't even know...) has a barbed penis. :-P

The whole short post, including a link to the video in question here
Absurdities
  • eimran

Metameta

beoweasel lets the ladies know what it's like to be part of the 'I HAVE A COCK' club...

Trust me, ze cock is eviiiil, it controls our minds, makes us do horrible, terrible things...

and when you walk in on us, and think we're masterbating, we're not, we're actually trying to choke the little bastard to death so we can get control of our bodies back ;D


From here
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Mad Stylin Yo!

How informative

esotaria gives her friends a little PSA over here:

- - -

In other news, I am a messed up human being. Details are, unfortunately, classified, but I figured that you, the public, should be aware of this fact. I do not believe that I am dangerous, but instability is never safe. Consider yourself warned.

This public service announcement is brought to you by: ....well, that's classified too. Sucks to be out of the loop, doesn't it? XD
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Book of Mormon - spooky Mormon hell drea

mmebahorel weighs in on Episode III

Am I supposed to giggle over Yoda’s speech patterns? Because annoying they get during the whole fucking movie.
- here

Then, in her response to asking if I may metaquote:
Go ahead. Wow, I feel special, even if that wasn’t really all that creative. Or should I say “Special I feel, but creative that was not”?
Peg 2015

Sith, I guess

mrissa muses, with unavoidable disgust, about That Movie here:

Also: why do Sith Lords have apprentices at all? You'd think after about the third one, somebody would have started thinking, "You know...I killed my master...and he killed his master...and kids are a lot of trouble...maybe I should just get a cat."

The whole post is worth reading.
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