June 9th, 2005

the dancing snape

Some things...

ladyjaida never ceases to amuse. In this post, I started to think that maybe she'd finally cracked:

Last night it was about one o'clock and I was doodling Obi-Wan blobheads and then I ran out of paper but here's something you may not know about me: When I run out of my paper, my immediate thought process following is "At least I haven't run out of thigh!"

As per usual, context is above, if you want it. The rest of the post is brilliant as well, by the way.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative ...
{HP} Hermione


In response to icons posted here at hp_icons, ellipsisicons sums up the dialogue:

Harry: "You wear too much pink Hermione!"
Hermione: *ignores*
Harry: "...Well... go ahead and wear pink! But I don't have to like it..."
Hermione: *ignores*
Harry: "Admitting that you *have* a pink problem is the first step!"
Hermione: *sniffing the air* "Did you leave the iron on?"
Harry: "Hmm. Maybe... perhaps."
Harry: ¬¬ "... I think you're right." *runz*
thug life

(no subject)

This might only be funny to total whackers. But in the_bravest (a community for firefighters, EMTs, etc) pete_diddy copy/pastes a story about an engine in New Jersey driving through a house.

In the comments:
Now that's an aggressive interior attack...

Here are the pictures from the post.

And in case you care, nobody in the engine, or the house was hurt. The engine was coming back from a service funeral for a former deputy chief and I think this quote from the article is even funnier:
"I heard a big bang, I didn't know what happened at first, then I saw the truck into the house," Andaloro said, adding the state has turned down requests for double yellow no-passing lines on Route 40 from Summer Avenue to Brewster Road. "I guess they think there are not enough accidents," she said.
Fangirl-y love

(no subject)

Long time lurker first time quoter!

From my friend icespark locked post, posted with permission

Quick pre-bed musings:

Point 1 - My new blue shirt has white stains on it.

Point 2 - Bill Clinton was in town doing a book signing today.

Point 3 - I spent three years as a federal government intern.

hmmm. This looks suspicious. :D
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
I am a girl of the future

(no subject)


"My mom found my girlpants, my eye make up, and that uncashed $15 check from Michael that says "thanks for the great sex" in the memo. It just goes to show that I can't be resentful when people ask me if I like penis because I totally bring it on myself. Not that there's anything wrong with liking penis. But after badgering me and trying to get me to come out of the (imaginary) closet all week, my mom bought me a set of discount bedsheets at TJ Maxx. She went with pink. Uh... you're not going to get grandkids this way."
  • Current Music
    "Come On Feel The Noise", Quiet Riot

Portland, Oregon: a brief introduction

binaryfinary, explaining why she's forgotten all the FTP commands she used to know:
it's the drawbridges, I swear don't live in a town with them, they make you dumb! they're all ______________ then it's all "oh fuck it's going up! ____/ \_____" and you can't go anywhere and traffic is backed up for 20 blocks while some dumb boat is going under all the bridges saying "dur de dur la la I'm fucking up traffic for hours pblheeeeebhal!!"
-reposted from a locked entry with permission
Kushiel's Legacy: Rainbow Love.


It happened here.

thephantomq: Oh, and that's frosting, by the way.

chainsaw_hime: Suuuure it is.

elettaria: I'd have taken it for toothpaste, myself.

tallest_spork: and by "tooth", you mean "man"

active_apathy: And if toothpaste is used for cleaning teeth, then...

laurenmitchell: Manpaste would have to come in different varieties though, since not all men want to be shiny and white.

active_apathy: Oh, of course - but if it comes in triple-stripe, then it's time to start backing away slowly. There could even be special ones, like a gentle one for sensitive guys or a special formulation for smokers that removes stains and helps get rid of the smell.

I don't think they like it much if you try to roll the tube up to get the last of it out.

active_apathy: ...and that pun was honestly an accident. *hides*

laurenmitchell: Oh, sure, sure.

active_apathy: It was! All I wanted to do was use some small amount of penetrating wit to write a comment that might help spray a few drinks at screens amidst ejaculations of laughter! Oh god, what's the world coming to when people can't read a perfectly innocent sentence without then fingering their keyboards to highlight some perceived double entendre that's aroused their suspicions.

Oh. Wait... Nevermind.
  • Current Music
    Evanescence -- 'Surrender'

Quoted with permission.

My friend, commanderd works at an IT support call center.
Here's an example of what she has to deal with:

Problem: User reports her MS Office assistant has gone missing. Please fix urgently as user reports it is stopping her work.
Solution: Show user where to access the MS office assistant settings. Also resist the urge to slap her silly as anyone who cannot do their job without that annoying little paperclip of satan-cock-sucking wankery needs serious beating.

Problem: Usr needs help
Yeah, so do I mate, frequently, usually after receiving a call logged by you shit-flinging crack-addicted monkeys in fact.

LOTS of other funny ones here.


In this meta here about life not having cheat codes, cmzero has this to say:
Forget cheat codes; I'll settle for a quicksave option.

"Jenny, would you like to go out and..." *quicksave* "...see Star Wars?"
"Not a chance, you geek."
*quickload* "...eat at Joe's Steak House?"
"I'm a vegitarian, you meat-eating murderer."
*quickload* "...enjoy some jacuzzi action at my apartm--"
*quickload* "...walk along the beach and watch the sunset?"
"Sounds great!"

(Also: Susan's first meta!)
I am unreasonable

(no subject)

ixchel55, here, in customers_suck:

*ring ring*

"Thank you for calling Bigass Video in Bumfuck. This is me, how may I help you?"

"I need to make an appointment for my cat."

Now, I will admit that at this point my brain took a short jaunt through the Dead Zone, but I snapped back with admirable alacrity and replied.

"Does your cat have a membership card or will it be renting under your account?"

Read the whole thing.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

The Conspiracy

From a locked post by osiris_06, with permission:

Will someone please explain to me why my computer won't let me delete my physics folder from "my documents"? I've deleted everything in the folder; the folder is empty. It just won't let me delete it.

I'm telling you, it's all a conspiracy. Someone, somewhere, is doing this on purpose then sitting there laughing at poor me as I try to make sense of the illogical and arbitrary nature of life.

I swear to you, this person's name is Bill Gates.


He's watching you.
FILM » like guns and ammunition

(no subject)

From this post in savagelove, discussing a website where you can tell former sex partners of STIs they've been exposed to:

You go to the website, select an e-card, click on an STD, and write a few lines of text. Then you enter the e-mail addresses of the sex partners you would like to notify. Cards can be sent anonymously or you can include a return e-mail address. I sent anonymous notices to all of my coworkers, letting them know that they had been exposed to shigella, molluscum, and nongonococchal urethritis. Based on the gasps and shrieks I heard coming from other cubicles all afternoon, BTDT, I'd say the service works.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
the dancing snape

Happy Birthday Yonny Johnny!

The ever-brilliant irradiatedsoup in this post:

And when you're done there come over and play at my house. I promise I won't-- try to stuff you with cotton wool and grab hold of your jeans and when you've pulled me halfway down the street your jeans rip and then I have this little square of jeans that I worship and make a happy hermit life with --like last time.

It makes more sense in context (as per usual, see above) and the rest of the post is funny too.