Metaquotes

erythros, in deadmentalking:

Nixon, unlike Kennedy or Johnson or Clinton, was prone to grab people by the shoulders and shake the hell out of them, possibly for spare change but most likely to underline the fact that he was President and they totally weren't.

kaichan describes an RP session with a slightly clueless friend in this post.

J: Ok, my character is going to search for any psychic people.
GM: Oh-kay... You sense D's character is psychic.
D: *Decides his character need's the toilet*
J: I follow him.
GM: ... Right. And does what?
J: I walk up behind him.
D: I pull out my gun and point it over my shoulder, saying "What do you want?"
J: How does he know I'm there?!
GM: ... Because he's psychic? o_O

rin_kali has a surreal celebrity sighting coming back from LA

Okay, okay! Here's the icing on the cake! I was getting on my plane this morning (which I almost missed) and I just squeaked through the doors. I had to walk through the first class to get to my stupid crappy seats and as I walked through a man reached across right in front of me to hand his wife something on the other side of the aisle, which required me to stop short because his arm was literally inches away from me. Then I actually looked at the guy and you'll never guess who it was. Never, not in a million years. There's no way you could see this coming it is THAT random. ( Collapse )

Won't somebody think of the Homo Thugs?
They think of you in hotpants lying over the hood of their pimped-out ride.

Someone special ordered an African-American Fiction book titled Homo Thug. Not just one book, but two. S/he left a last name, but not a first. I called the person once yesterday to pick up the book, but she was just like, "Homo WHAT?" Made me wonder if someone else ordered it.

Still, will no one think of the Homo Thugs? [sniff] They need a good home.

Okay, I just wrote this entry to say "Homo Thug" as often as possible. True story, though.

--msmarvel1 works in a book store now.

From xandah , On the expansiveness of modern day gold encrusted big wheels...

"Today I parallel parked a Cadillac Escalade ESV

It was like parallel parking a powerful studio apartment."

tarandfeathrhim, in this post:

I think that if Ian Curtis knew his band would end up writing songs like "Love Vigilantes", he would have killed himself a lot sooner.

I like it, though. I'm just saying.

"...you decide to trump all the "gorgeous raven tresses", "all the curves in all the right places", and "her eyes were so deep you could lose yourself in them"s by coining the phrase "her cleavage was so deep you could lose yourself in it" just to see how everyone reacts."

magdaleina, here.

---

More! A metameta, because I thought it was great.

Music's a bugger to describe in words too. I've just had the following conversation with someone on MSN, when trying to explain Beethoven's never-ending cadences (friend of a friend of a friend's father reckoned that Beethoven just couldn't come) to a friend who knows nothing about music:

Me: a cadence is like saying "That's it," at the end of a story, or of a paragraph, in a smaller way. Often used for ending phrases, and used importantly for ending movements. "That's it" is two words, right?
Her: What's a movement? [Digression to explain what a movement is.]
Me: Beethoven does the equivalent of this:
That's it! That's it! That that that that's it, that's it, that's it, THAT'S IT, THAT'S - IT. It itty-itty-itty-itty-itty-IT.
(multiply by about ten)

elettaria, here.

dramashark tells of another hilarious conversation with her mother in a friend-locked entry.

Dana: *opens bathroom door* I HATE YOU.
Mom: What?
Dana: I just used that body wash you bought for me.
Mom: And?
Dana: AND IT SAYS "JUST FOR MEN" ON IT AND I DIDN'T SEE IT UNTIL IT WAS LIKE ALL OVER ME
Mom: Whaat? I didn't get that and - guys don't smell any different.
Dana: YES THEY DO. AND THAT BODY WASH SMELLS LIKE AXE AND I HAD TO TAKE A WHOLE ANOTHER SHOWER TO WASH IT OFF BUT IT DOESN'T COME OFF.
Mom: XD.
Dana: *puts a towel on and runs into her mom's room* SEE? SMELL MY ARM.
Mom: *sniff* ... oh my god
Dana: TOLD YOU. I HOPE YOU SUFFERRRR ;_____;
Mom: XD You smell MALE.
Dana: XD I hate you, you know. *runs to take yet another shower*

me, in statements: My cat vomited inside one of my fitness magazines.
jianna replies: social commentary?

meyerlemon is tired of running across Andy Richter everywhere she goes.

Man, this morning I was at a garage sale, and who was there? MY CELEBRITY STALKER, Andy Richter. Seriously, I have seen him around town more often than some of my close friends- always at improbable locales like trashy taquerias at two in the morning- and, frankly, I'm tired of it! Celebrities, even b-grade ones like Andy, should not be allowed to go to garage sales. It gives the whole thing a very odd atmosphere, and precluded people from taking a look at the NordicTrack he was leaning on. He was talking loudly to another dude about digital cameras and was totally ruining the Saturday Morning Thrifting Vibe. Even the hardcore Vietnamese grandma was too uncomfortable to haggle in front of him. THANKS A LOT, Andy.

"Look, Mr. Lewis, you can have crazy Gothic incest or kinky spectral necrophilia, but not at the same time."

The ever-quotable poisoninjest talking about The Monk, a novel written in 1796 by a 19 year old with a very fertile imagination. Everyone should own a copy of a book in which someone accidentally elopes with a ghost.

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...this post about Animorphs spoilers... standard jokes about spoilers (the series has been out for FOUR YEARS)...

And then jat_sapphire killed me:


I think Christ gets crucified. And then a lot of people become Christians and stuff.

...I had to post this letter from mstakenidentity:


Dear Washing Machine,

You ate one of my socks. This is annoying. If you had to eat a sock could you not have picked an old, threadbare one filled with holes? Did it have to be a new only-worn-once black knee-high sock that was incredibly warm and comfortable? You must have eaten it, it's not in the lounge, it's not on the laundry floor, it's not on the ground in the back-yard, I didn't hang it on the line. It has dissappeared.

You ate it.

I am not talking to you.

No love,

mstakenidentity

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From this post by the hilarious miss_skillet.

From zdarlight:

My coffee tastes like tea.

This is wrong on so many levels.

WTF, mates.

Meta-meta-meta!

If only there were an RL equivalent of the cut tag!

Me: "Yes?"
Mother: "(Long rant about how you never tidy your room, wash the dishes or bring nice girls/boys/miscellaneous lifeforms home to meet us)"
Me: "SO not clicking that, bitch."

outofbeta, here (in comments).

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It always makes me laugh..

A friend of mine just got back to Los Angeles after being away for about 6 months. Her first entry upon returning:

last night i saw paris hilton at the spider club. then, when i thought it could not get any better, across the street was a gothic fatty porn being shot from many angles on the sidewalk.

i love LA

Or at least the one in this post in tmi_chix.

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