Metaquotes

notpoetry has a new coworker:

"Also he kept switching the radio station from classic rock to Christian "rock." Which, I, just, no. I eventually stormed in from the counter area into the oven room and shouted, "WHY IS THERE JESUS IN THIS KITCHEN," because, dude! You may like Jesus in your Reeses but your coworkers are an atheist, a Jew, a recovering Roman Catholic, and two nondenomenational Christians. Give it a fucking rest."

renne following a rash of IQ-challenged trolls in a My Chemical Romance community.


"back in my day we had to walk to the trolls through fourteen feet of snow! and then eat them with our bare hands! we weren't even allowed to use our mouths!"

scapegoat_5 is still my favorite person ever:

OMG spoiler! Go back into the past and pretend you didn't read that! No wait, even better. Tell your previous self not to read it. Then shoot yourself in the head. Then buy yourself a pony. Ponies are awesome. They're not cats, but they're still cute in their own ways.

--here

wowthatisminty, commenting on this MQ post:


-You got The Body Of Christ in my Peanut Butter!
-You got Peanut Butter in The Body Of Christ!

Peanut Butter Jeez-its! Christ on a cracker, they're sacrelicious!

I don't care if it is wicked, that's funny.

Hehe.

From wax_jism:

I must go to work.
I'd rather spork myself
but I have no spork.
So I must go to work.

permetaformhas this to say:

Speaking of which, remind me sometime to post about the Great Math Wank between Newton and Leibniz wherein calculus was invented, Leibniz was a 'ho, and Newton never got laid. (it was his own fault tho)

In this post in my journal about how The Notebook did NOT make me cry, lost_in_my_room tells us the wonderful story of what Nicolas Sparks does to him.

( Collapse )

misia talks about ego-searches and how the results of the same might sometimes not be to the searchers' liking, as they might come across bad mean people saying mean things about them online:

By ego searching, you are asking to be shown what other people think and write about you. Until Google comes up with a reliable "Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Who's The Fairest Of Them All" filter, the results of any such search are likely to be mixed in terms of whether or not you will find them to your liking.

As is usual with misia, the whole thing is worth a read.

In a brilliant spork of a horrible Mary Sue on bad_rpers_suck, centerfire muses,

I wonder what happens if you put a bottomless cup of coffee in the bottomless pockets of her coat? Does it form a tear in the fabric of the Astral Plane and suck her in?

thebeatniksock posted this here on mock_the_stupid:

Do you ever hear weird bits of conversation out of context that bother you for a few days afterward? I saw this guy looking down at his pants and holding the zipper to his fly, but he said, "I'm always putting my cellphone in here but it never gets charged."

What?

WHAT??

There are some things it takes a very special type of person to notice. davidcamp is one such person. In this post, he has this to say:

Anyways, what else has happened in the last couple of days…hmm?
An argument with my mother over why everyone always uses the upstairs toilet in our house gave birth to the profound observation that our upstairs toilet has one of the BEST POSITIONED TOILETROLLS OF ALL TIME. It is a pleasure to reach upwards instead of downwards when searching for toilet roll. It’s perfectly positioned. I encourage anyone to take any chance they get to use that toilet.

Context above if you want it, but really...who needs context?

pegkerr's daughter Fiona is sick.

She wants chicken soup for dinner. Not the chicken soup I have in the cupboard, of course. Some other different chicken soup, probably a mythical chicken soup that exists solely in her mind. Perhaps she wants me to kill and dress the chicken myself and make a perfect chicken soup from scratch. Except that she wants it instantaneously, of course.

theferrett writes about a graphic novel he found called A Creationist's View of DINOSAURS and the Theory Of Evolution. He says it was pretty normal anti-Darwinism until a certain point:

Yes, that's correct; he has the theory that dinosaurs, enraged by fallen angels, attacked Noah's Ark as the flood began in a no-holds battle to the finish.

And yet that was not enough. He illustrated it for a possible movie, claiming it would be far more exciting than Jurassic Park.

He provides some pictures and one has to agree, wacko theory or not, it would make a better film.

Equally awesome are some of the comments analyzing the finer points of this theory. ( Collapse )

zeppo visits the Museum of Bad Art.

The next image that stopped me dead in my tracks was the mysterious "Inspiration." Wavering in its lack of basic understanding in the human form is really only the tip of the iceberg here. So many questions go unanswered; who is this magical arc angel with the head of a werewolf? Who is the Tom Thumbish monk staring devotedly onto the angel's visage even though he is clearly down a hallway and couldn't possibly have a unobstructed view? Why are the dozens of pipes scattered so liberally about the room seemingly unconnected to a keyboard that is less like a pipe organ and more like a vintage Yamaha electric piano from the seventies?
While pondering important questions like these I imagined the man in his Dickensian garb so moved he carefully pushes the "bossanova" button.
I could almost hear the beat: bah, bahbah, bahdum bahdum... bah, bahbah, bahdum bahdum...

Full entry here.

After bitching about people who try to get cookies from the mall cookie store for free after the cookie store is closed, wordcandlemage says:

The only exception we ever made was when a man ran up to the counter and almost literally collapsed against it, gasping for breath and looking as if he were going to die. He managed to say, "Wife...pregnant...craving...oatmeal/raisin...please."

Also, I do not know if cats actually exist in the Star Wars universe. However, if they do, they most likely come from the planet Krip'ta Iin, are called Catangas, and have the incredible ability to make Mace Windu sneeze.

From vappaelessar on this rather amusing post.

It's just another happy day over on sages_of_chaos, when ultron_x asks the age-old question: ninjas or pirates?

dnl_000 offers a solution:

You fools don't get it, do you?

You merge their DNA, and create an army of Ninja Pirates, and Pirate Ninja! You'll be unstoppable! Not even the Jedi and the Sith together could stop such an army!

There is, however, a flaw in such logic, which is quickly pointed out by shred_the_sky:

SynthTech tried that.

The genes of the two end up clashing against each other and battling to death. What comes out from that mess is hard to call a DNA, let alone a Ninja Pirate.

It goes down to the fucking genes.



I love this community so much. ♥

Argh!
I'm being attacked by plant sex!


from perspexavenger on this post.

From thebigfatman:

Work quotes rock:
"I love new one dollar bills because they have never seen a g-string."

( Collapse )

[EDIT] Dangit, the subject line screwed up. I was trying to link to this post inside it, but no dice.

apiphile discovers an incredibly ignorant and offensive article and responds to it in this post:

For most people (those who have a life and don’t actually care about the great intergalactic struggle between Marvel and DC comics)

"For most people (those who have a life and don't actually care about the great intergalactic struggle between $generic_football_team_a and $generic_football_team_b)" OH WAIT SUDDENLY I'M BEING OFFENSIVE. And yet no hordes of geeks have been seen trashing pubs and STABBING PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF FINSBURY PARK STATION I WONDER WHY THAT WAS.

Posted on tmi_chix by forceofhobbit about that time of the month.

"...my period is almost being genial."

( Collapse )

mylildementor's brain won't let her sleep as it plots a sequel to her unfinished novel and a conversation ensues.

( Collapse )

reallybadpoetry posted a link to this, and, um...

Yeah.

my room-mate just said:

we should find the list of all time best pick up lines and add to it "hey baby, how about i profane your hot chocolate?"

(actually, in retrospect, it really isnt that funny i guess. hmm. i fail at life. )