May 30th, 2005

GatackHero

Enter Salvacion Corazon Dimayangyang

So... LJ user nada_o_nil, miffed with the idea of the Filipina as some sort of a Mail order bride, creates a brand new addition to the online dating world.

Enter Salvacion Corazon Dimayangyang, carrying nada_o_nil's lovely features and a trumped up resume, which includes Farming and being a subservient Filipina woman... no wonder she got love letters such as this:

Lovely Salvacion,

You are a very beautiful woman and I can sense warmth, kindness, and compassion within you. You are the most enchanting presence I ever want to behold in my lifetime. If I never saw your face that`s painted on such a beautiful canvass of radiant skin, I would still fall in love with your heart and the values that have been passed on to and practiced by you. Your beauty is envied, even by the many natural wonders of this earth. I can only hope that you are the one who will accept the pure love I thirst to give. If I am allowed to meet you someday in your country, I will honor you with a rose for each year that you have graced this earth and give you the bouquet of my heart.


Yours forever,
Elton


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The entire post here... look for the comment thread by LJ user Jasonmichaels on page one... hilarious stuff.
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    crazy ....whoa
Oysters and Snails

(no subject)

From taira602

On the many odditites of Star Wars: Episode III--

Lines Most Needing to be Rewritten:
Padme: Omg, I'm so worried. The Republic is crumbling, peace looks like it will never come, I'm worried about us Anakin, and I'm worried we're on the wrong side..... (etc.)
Anakin (leering): You're so beautiful
Padme: Aw, I love you
Anakin: I love you too
*scene hacks, gags, and closes*


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Mooooo

Found on rachel820's journal about simply loving her job (note the sarcasm):

Some....chick came in tonight and got a gallon of milk, then I guess she left her money in her car or something, so she set it on the ice cream freezer while I was helping another customer. That person left and I looked over juuuust in time to see the milk fall off of the freezer and break on the floor. So I took it to the back room and brought out the mop and the lady came back in and was like: "Oops....guess it fell off, huh?" No dumbass, from time to time our ceiling sprouts an udder and shoots milk on the floor.

Full text here.
Not!Fandom: Autumn Bench
  • van

Meta-meta

Time for some meta-meta. I refuse to cut this due to no spoilers and the general basis of the post. Discussion of how can "Anakin = Vader" be considered a spoiler, here leads to the following exchange. Please note, there may be spoilers in the comments.

salzara_tirwen: Despite, you know, the big posters for Ep 1 that had little Annie standing in the desert and his shadow was DARTH VADER?

uh wtf?

dramaturgy: That was a really neat poster, off the topic.

hija_paloma: It totally was. In retrospect, I think I enjoyed that poster more than the movie itself.


-----
It's funny 'cause it's true. :)
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    amused amused
[Text] Feminazi

(no subject)

From the ever-so-funny campfuckudie, audience member sarolynne comments on the ridiculously pretty Uchiha Itachi:

The Uchiha clan got most of the pretty in Naruto, I think. Which I suppose, seeing as how they also got most of the crazy, is what keeps their DNA from crying itself to sleep.
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    I Don't Wanna Be - Gavin DeGraw

How true...

An Episode III spoiler from the always quotable airegin...

The battle between Obi-Wan and General Grievous was like finally having sex with that girl you always thought was so hot, and finding out she's horrible in bed -- a huge letdown.
  • duia

(no subject)

Quoted with my handy 'quote whatever you want' coupon that being kin affords me, from a locked post in lonesomeoctober's journal.

"Every time my mom and grandmother have to go out while I'm still asleep, Mom leaves a note on the toilet seat (hey, I'm guaranteed to see it first thing!). Mom's notes PWN. She wrote one right after I went to see Star Wars and it was written in Yoda-speak. She wrote one today, and it CONFUSED poor sleepy-brained Katya:

present date

salutations affectionate nickname of offspring comma

first person plural present tense of a verb of motion appropriate preposition proper name of a chain of purveyors of edibles (any name will probably fit) period first person plural future tense of a verb of returning period

closing generalities
affectionate name of female parent


Cue confusion for the sleep-addled girl on the toilet."
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    AFI- Head Like a Hole
Detroit

Non-Spoilery Star Wars Ep III...

From defectivewookie - commenting on an article that showed up in the illustrious Lansing State Journal discussing fans' reactions to Revenge of the Sith...

First off, this idiot took her seven year old daughter to see a PG-13 movie without having talked to anyone about it or see it for herself. Her quote: "my seven year old felt betrayed by the dark tone." Good. She's supposed to. That's the point. You're going to see a movie about a man's fall from grace into oblivion and you feel betrayed by the tone. You are stupid. Here's your sign.

She goes on to say that she always thought Darth Vader was "just a cool bad guy" but now this movie made him into "a monster." Okay. Yeah. "George Lucas has taken characters we love and ruined them." Your hate has made you powerful...
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    amused amused
Kushiel's Legacy: Rainbow Love.

Another gem from customers_suck

fahrenheitbbv was faced with a customer who decided that the word 'Heffalump' was not a real word and proceeded to inform everyone that the correct pronunciation was 'Elephant'.

fahrenheitbbv's remark on this? 'Yeah, while we're at it, let's change Tigger's name to Tiger, and rename the main character Feces Bear.'

Then cathowl said in comments:

Elephant lady: Can you read? Does that look like it says "elephant" to you? I thought elephant was spelled e-l-e-p-h-a-n-t. Nice to know I was wrong and that it's really spelled "heffalump". I might have made a fool of myself. *Pointed look*

Also...
To woman: I can pronouce 'elephant' just fine, thank you. However, that is not the name of the movie. The name of the movie is "Pooh's Heffalump Movie", no matter what the correct pronounciation of elephant might be.





(and spiralled was too tired to metaquote, so I am doing it)
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    Alanis Morissette -- 'Heart of the House'
ouran;hunny [sweets for the sweet]

(no subject)

I posted about the hatred towards Hufflepuffs in the Harry Potter fandom & in HP rpg situations & how Slytherins (mostly in an RP situation) tend to be more snarky & rude than they are in the Harry Potter books themselves.

My friend arisato responded & it was one of the funniest things said on my LJ:

"Slytherin is the Hot Topic of the Hogwarts/Clothing Line crossover realm. There's a decent sentiment behind it, sure, but it's mostly frequented by posers."

[to be found HERE]