bubosquared: i'm scared! the internet is watching meeee!
babyofthegroup: If you were really scared of the big, bad internet, your name wouldn't be plastered all over it! Like so:
I feel a disturbance in the productivity. It's as if a thousand to-do lists screamed out and then were silenced.
I agree entirely...(yay, someone else who knows basic food chemistry!!!)
It's not an acid / base thing. It's a molecular compound thing with the capsaicin.
But like all things in life, if you can't abstain, then use protection!
I thought it was cute, anyway…
From a fun thread about overprotective parenting (thanks for the lead, Jewelweed!):
My mother got me a cellphone because she was annoyed that she could not call me up to consult me on her imminent purchases. Which, as these things go, is the lesser social ill than paranoia campaigns as chronicled in that article. I am sure my mother would appreciate it if I didn't let the battery run down quite so often (and for so long), but in theory, at least, I can offer that last-minute wisdom of Don't buy a winter coat in white, unless you really think you are Bianca Jagger.
Oh, and my (excellent) pediatrician gave me a long lecture about why my children should NEVER use the internet for more than 30 minutes a day, because otherwise the pedophiles will get them. It was the sort of lecture one generally gets about vitamins or exercise.
We all mocked her at the dinner table. Nowadays, pedophiles have gotten the contamination down to 15 seconds flat.
( Collapse )
A pair of my pantyhose - well, those shorty pantyhose that you can wear under short skirts and leave your legs bare for decorating with cute socks - shredded themselves in the laundry and took a bunch of other clothes hostage. They were all, "Set us free or the undershirt gets it!" while the pajama pants were stealthily trying to escape and the boxer shorts were going, "Let the undershirt go and take us instead!" while simultaneously trying to comfort the socks. Negotiations broke down and I was forced to call in the Scissors Special Forces to take the terrorists out.
From a rant here by sashwizzled on the definition of the word "electrocution."
OMG THE TREES ARE HAVING SEX IN MY NOSE!!!! MAKE IT STOP!! IT HURTS SO MUCH!
I feel so elegant. I just ate a bunch of Pecorino Romano and Mozzarella with Basil and Proscuito with a glass of Port. I feel like Baron Von Gutentaggenrinovichowskininitottington XXII Esquire.
CLARIFICATION: I am quoting sinboy's commentary on the link. I attempted wit by layering my post with an extra metacommentary. The non-meta-commentary, which I am metaquoting, does not make sense unless you see the link to which it refers. Obviously the extra mouse click was burdensome to some members of this community, so I de-meta-meta'ing my post to mere meta status, and reproducing the entry here in its entirety.
The Darwin Award potential is strong in this one!
Two Star Wars fans are in a critical condition in hospital after apparently trying to make light sabres by filling fluorescent light tubes with petrol.
Do, or do not do. There is no "Try to win a Darwin Award".
I've heard of lunch meetings, dinner meetings, train meetings on the go, taxi meetings... but today I was going to the bathroom and all cubicles were full of finance people having a meeting of the latest sales figures (in separate cubicles... but still).
I don't quite know whether to admire their radical (if slightly gender segregating) workplace efficiencies or just go Ewwwww.
"Today, I've been "swimming" in the ocean ("OMG! The water is so cold! Out! Out! Out!). I've also been "swimming" in the pool. ("OMG! The water is so cold! Out! Out! Out!") Sadly, the only liquid that was warm, was my Pepsi. x_x"
Which brings us to:
"Anyone who says the phrase the homosexual agenda loses the argument." -- papergreen
"It's like a lavender and pink version of Godwin's Law." -- pokeyturtle
I demand that this law becomes effective immediately.
So, I've decided that some movie needs to include a fight scene that takes place in a narrow stairwell and involves paint rollers on poles.
It's amazing what spending all day rolling paint in a stairwell will lead you to think.
Which brings me to the second epiphany I had today. See, after I decided again not to bother with a slip, I finished getting dressed, walked to my car, drove to a building, and walked into that, where I realized I'd forgotten to bring the form that I needed, so the whole trip was a bust. As I turned to leave, a very kind person tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out that my shoes were on the wrong feet.
In the parking lot, I walked face-first into a tree.
I'm starting to suspect that, bad though I am at being a girl, I'm even worse at being a grown-up.