Anne Rice should not write. She has proven she can take a great idea (The Vampire Chronicles, the first Mayfair Witch novel) and turn it into a steaming splatter of maggot-ridden shite (the latter Vampire Chronicles, everything after "The Witching Hour" in the Mayfair Witch novels). She should not write so much as a grocery list. She should be kept away from keyboards, dictaphones, writing instruments, and even writing with her own excrement smeared on the walls like the guy did in Quills because that would be insulting to excrement. She should be hooked up to electrodes stuck in her brain and not allowed to even think of a story.
-- loveanddarkness, from here
Stage 1: OMG
Stage 2: WTF
Stage 3: :(
Stage 4: kthxbye
It was to this friends-only copy, that the magnificent kyra_ojosverdes commented:
Like hitting your head against the wall because it feels so good when you stop... only you're whacking someone else's head into the wall and smiling at your own kindness?
About this quite boggling post, which is locked but all you have to do is join the comm to read it:
And again: it's a hamster. Of course the little thing's on his wheel. Why the fuck would you be concerned about that? Unless he's eyeing your jugular, sharpening his fangs, and trying to generate electricity with his wheel so he can electrocute you and feast upon your steaming entrails, AND has made the mistake of voicing this cunning plan, I'm pretty sure the hamster is just fine up on his wheel.
From zenicurean, in this comment in mock_the_stupid:
Maybe George Lucas will pull an old-fashioned switcheroo to keep us all guessing... and Jar-Jar Binks becomes Darth Vader.
"Mesa am your father!"
"NOOO!! SWEET MOTHER OF GOD NOOOOOO!!"
The thread also contains lots of griping about people who can't be bothered to check the spelling of Anakin, but that's another rant entirely. :-p
You ever notice that the only things television psychics talk to are things that can’t answer, like the dead or pets? Luckily, the John Edwards craze finally died down (Ba-dum-dum!), but it was scary there for a while how much attention that guy got with two-bit parlor tricks. I always wanted to go on his show just to screw around with him.
EDWARDS: I sense that you've lost someone in your life.
EDWARDS: I'm sensing a "J" name, maybe James.
ME: Oh, my gosh, yes, my grandfather.
EDWARDS: Your grandfather James has a message for you.
ME: Is the message "My name was Ken, not James you schmuck"?
(...then DocNuke takes on pet psychics and horny crickets...)
It's because those 15-year olds had a crush, raged against the world when their crushes didn't love them back, listened to a lot of Evanescence, and had the urge to write masturbatory self-wish-fulfilment fic as a cry for attention.
Dear People who use e.e. cummings as an excuse for their own laziness:
1. E.E. Cummings did use capitalization, albeit in a non-standard fashion.
2. E.E. Cummings capitalized his own name; "e.e. cummings" is a bit of editorial flair used on the covers of his published works. You can thank the cover designer for it.
3. E.E. Cummings was a world-famous poet. You are not. Using E.E. Cummings as an excuse to not capitalize is about as cool as using Arnold Schwartzenegger as an excuse to use steroids.
In short, you have no excuse. Quit.
ANAKIN:... I shouldn't kill him, though, should I?
PALPATINE: Go on, you brave, handsome Jedi, you.
ANAKIN: Well, I have been working out. Could you tell?
PALPATINE: Annie, Annie, he's our man, if he can't do it, no-one can!
ANAKIN: You've convinced me.
OBI-WAN: You go take all the glory, Anakin, because you're a better Jedi than I am.
OBI-WAN: Just don't take off all your ominously black clothing, cover yourself in whipped cream and pose for the tabloids again, okay?
ANAKIN: YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.
Seriously, go right now. The spoilers, they are strong, but the funny is worth it.
Because she IS a slut, and one who can put her legs behind her ears and bend into a pretzel.
Apparently English is easy.Whole thread here.
Dog: Cats? OMG WTF! Cats have claws! Which I know I have experienced somewhere before, slashing across my delicate yet overly inquisitive nose, as evidenced by my lowered tail and shrinking away from them when they look at me with their demonic slanty pupil eyes of doom! But yet they are small and furry, and surely I must be meant to chase them, because I Am Dog! *snuffle snuffle* *whine whine* CATS OMG WTF!(linky)
Simon: *snuffle* Dude, you da smelliest cat eva. Are you warm? Wanna snuggle? Ooo! Tail! *pounces*
Bonnie: STEP ASIDE, CUR, FOR I RULE THIS DOMAIN! KNOW YOUR PLACE, AND I MAY YET LET YOU LIVE FOR THE SAKE OF MY OWN AMUSEMENT!
Dog: OMG WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!!!!1!!!
This was sort of already meta'd, but this one line had me howling, so for those of you who didn't go read the whole post...
"That's weird. It looks like Hayden Christiansen, but it's acting."
All of you Americans? ...you're now MEXICANS. And all of you Canadians? You're now ALASKANS.
--QWP from a locked post.
i really should know better than to have my hair cut at a salon called "Kutting Korners".
'Twas a bad day for all of us. And yea, verily, it be known that Mondays are God's way of punishing the students, 'tis all a part of his grandiose plan, and verily, we all be prawns upon a great chessboard of earthly manifetation, with the skie and heavenly bodies soaring above we mere gamepieces filled with the harmonious melodies of His Great Music. And yea, beneath the board there beeth a great pit of fiery despair, in which the discarded and the sinful shalt roast in an eternal barbeque lacking delicious A-1 sauce.
..wait--did I say "prawns"? I meant "pawns".
...and might I add that I hate A-1 sauce. Stuff is gross.
So very sad.
So much crying on my part.
But first of all, Hello Anakin's Torso, I do love you, oh yes I do.
Ok, back to crying.
all politicking aside...
I've got to wonder about the american arrogance of using a cucumber to demonstrate the use of a condom...should be more like a carrot...
in some cases a baby carrot...