May 23rd, 2005

K: Eeevil!, Eeevil!
  • kielle

Actually it's the Quills ref that did me in...

Anne Rice should not write. She has proven she can take a great idea (The Vampire Chronicles, the first Mayfair Witch novel) and turn it into a steaming splatter of maggot-ridden shite (the latter Vampire Chronicles, everything after "The Witching Hour" in the Mayfair Witch novels). She should not write so much as a grocery list. She should be kept away from keyboards, dictaphones, writing instruments, and even writing with her own excrement smeared on the walls like the guy did in Quills because that would be insulting to excrement. She should be hooked up to electrodes stuck in her brain and not allowed to even think of a story.

-- loveanddarkness, from here

Head banging

Quoted with permission of both authors. yndy wrote this entry (in neph_politics), regarding a recent report about how the living conditions in Iraq are now much worse than under Saddam Hussein. She pointed out the irony this involves, and how Liberated [Tm] this must make to Iraqis feel. She also cross-posted this in her journal, in a friends-only entry.

It was to this friends-only copy, that the magnificent kyra_ojosverdes commented:
Like hitting your head against the wall because it feels so good when you stop... only you're whacking someone else's head into the wall and smiling at your own kindness?
  • Current Music
    Silence of the Lambs
Whuh Huh?!

But you never know...

About this quite boggling post, which is locked but all you have to do is join the comm to read it:

And again: it's a hamster. Of course the little thing's on his wheel. Why the fuck would you be concerned about that? Unless he's eyeing your jugular, sharpening his fangs, and trying to generate electricity with his wheel so he can electrocute you and feast upon your steaming entrails, AND has made the mistake of voicing this cunning plan, I'm pretty sure the hamster is just fine up on his wheel.

-- tajessa
Shy Guy

Talk about Jar-Jarring...

I don't think this has been posted here, and Star Wars seems to be the hot Metaquote topic as of late, so, without further ado...

From zenicurean, in this comment in mock_the_stupid:

Maybe George Lucas will pull an old-fashioned switcheroo to keep us all guessing... and Jar-Jar Binks becomes Darth Vader.

"Mesa am your father!"

The thread also contains lots of griping about people who can't be bothered to check the spelling of Anakin, but that's another rant entirely. :-p
Bitch Please

(no subject)

You ever notice that the only things television psychics talk to are things that can’t answer, like the dead or pets? Luckily, the John Edwards craze finally died down (Ba-dum-dum!), but it was scary there for a while how much attention that guy got with two-bit parlor tricks. I always wanted to go on his show just to screw around with him.

EDWARDS: I sense that you've lost someone in your life.
ME: Yes.
EDWARDS: I'm sensing a "J" name, maybe James.
ME: Oh, my gosh, yes, my grandfather.
EDWARDS: Your grandfather James has a message for you.
ME: Is the message "My name was Ken, not James you schmuck"?

(...then DocNuke takes on pet psychics and horny crickets...)

On poets and people who dislike the Shift key...

QWP from tisiphone. I'd make a link, but this is the entire post, so it'd be kind of redundant.

Dear People who use e.e. cummings as an excuse for their own laziness:

1. E.E. Cummings did use capitalization, albeit in a non-standard fashion.
2. E.E. Cummings capitalized his own name; "e.e. cummings" is a bit of editorial flair used on the covers of his published works. You can thank the cover designer for it.
3. E.E. Cummings was a world-famous poet. You are not. Using E.E. Cummings as an excuse to not capitalize is about as cool as using Arnold Schwartzenegger as an excuse to use steroids.

In short, you have no excuse. Quit.

Evil Giraffe

(no subject)

...I don't know how I can quote only a few things about this post, so I'm urging you all to read it all. sarahtales is one of the most hilarious people I know, and she proves it yet again with her Star Wars mockery.

ANAKIN:... I shouldn't kill him, though, should I?
PALPATINE: Go on, you brave, handsome Jedi, you.
ANAKIN: Well, I have been working out. Could you tell?
PALPATINE: Annie, Annie, he's our man, if he can't do it, no-one can!
ANAKIN: You've convinced me.

Later on...

OBI-WAN: You go take all the glory, Anakin, because you're a better Jedi than I am.
ANAKIN: Score!
OBI-WAN: Just don't take off all your ominously black clothing, cover yourself in whipped cream and pose for the tabloids again, okay?

Seriously, go right now. The spoilers, they are strong, but the funny is worth it.

(no subject)

wakinghour describes the introduction of a dog to a two-cat household:
Dog: Cats? OMG WTF! Cats have claws! Which I know I have experienced somewhere before, slashing across my delicate yet overly inquisitive nose, as evidenced by my lowered tail and shrinking away from them when they look at me with their demonic slanty pupil eyes of doom! But yet they are small and furry, and surely I must be meant to chase them, because I Am Dog! *snuffle snuffle* *whine whine* CATS OMG WTF!

Simon: *snuffle* Dude, you da smelliest cat eva. Are you warm? Wanna snuggle? Ooo! Tail! *pounces*


Dog: OMG WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!!!!1!!!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
shiro and I are bros

(no subject)

minimaize, in response to an entry of mine in which I complain about how much my Monday sucked:

'Twas a bad day for all of us. And yea, verily, it be known that Mondays are God's way of punishing the students, 'tis all a part of his grandiose plan, and verily, we all be prawns upon a great chessboard of earthly manifetation, with the skie and heavenly bodies soaring above we mere gamepieces filled with the harmonious melodies of His Great Music. And yea, beneath the board there beeth a great pit of fiery despair, in which the discarded and the sinful shalt roast in an eternal barbeque lacking delicious A-1 sauce.

..wait--did I say "prawns"? I meant "pawns".

...and might I add that I hate A-1 sauce. Stuff is gross.
  • Current Music
    U2: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For