May 12th, 2005

Red Robot

Oh rule_of_three, you God of Internet...

I highly suggest you go and read his entire journal, especially his Fango! post... it was actually a tough decision of which I should post here, but since Fango! includes a picture (hand-drawn by rule_of_three himself), this seemed like the better choice.

And so with no further ado, I present to you my very first post here, entitled:

Somewhere, A Wookie Is Crying by rule_of_three

As many of you know, I enjoy getting into pointless debates with complete strangers. This is not, as you may guess, because I feel very strongly about the first amendment, but actually because I like to make people frustrated so I can feed off their emotions like some kind of vampire, only significantly less faggoty. And like all villains, vampires can easily be defeated by small children, especially ones that are pure of heart, or have cybernetic guns in their fingers. But mostly the former.

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  • Current Music
    Katamari Damacy - Que Sera Sera
Internet ridiculous

Bad customers are spellcasters

winter_b0rn posts this footnote in this post about a stupid restaurant customer

Confusion (Sp): An Entitled One can employ Confusion as a spell-like ability (at will, as a 5th level wizard/bard/sorcerer) to utterly confuse a service worker and other customers by spewing forth verbal nonsense. The effect covers a 50' area. A Will save of DC 27 negates temporary Intelligence damage of 1d4.
  • Current Music
    Random Dark Wave music

logic and morality just don't mix

mintwitch starts my day off with a dash of bitters, mixed well with logic:

I can't figure out why a nation obsessed with other peoples' morality is led by the state with the highest proportion of incarcerated residents and not the state with the lowest divorce rate. Why the wife-beaters are somehow more moral than the child-adopters. Why it is okay to simultaneously and artificially conceive, birth, then raise seven caucasian babies at state expense, but not to obtain birth-control pills on one's own dime.

Word. The whole post is strong, but this is (IMO) the strongest part.

OMG

Ok...now I know this quote isn't from someone on LJ, but I had, HAD to share this one with the rest of you. It's just too much of a gem to not share.

I cut the quote and the website it comes from for sexuality, barnyard references and um...mules.

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    amused amused
Whuh Huh?!

Must be the time of year...

The [fledgling] house finches are the most graceful of the bunch -- and I use the term loosely -- presumably requiring less landing space, but even so, they'll land on the feeder and continue to flap madly for a few seconds -- "Am I down? I don't know if I'm down! OHGODIFISTOPFLAPPINGILLFALLINHOTLAVA!"* -- before finally settling and discovering that their feet are, indeed, capable of holding them to an object.

* I'm extrapolating from my own childhood here. It's possible birds don't play "hot lava."

[...also...]

The tufted titmice are younger than the others, and not yet adept at feeding themselves, so they stomp around the deck, doing the rapid-wing-vibration thing and shrieking to be fed. Somewhere an adult titmouse is counting to ten and massaging its temples.

-- ursulav -- the whole post is hilarious
Hello Kitty pumpkin-shalowater

Simple little WTF post...

From kleenexwoman's larger post here...snipped to the very last line, which is the funny bit:

ETA: Has to repost this because LJ was whining about backdating and I just discovered that the last three entries I made took place in August. WTF. I am posting from the FUTURE.
  • Current Music
    "Bang the Drum All Day", Todd Rundgren
Sarek of Vulcan

(no subject)

In a discussion about what Episode III has to have to not suck, filkertom hearkens back to one of the... ummm... high points of Episode II, with a side trip through MST3K...

"I am conversant in over six million forms of communication, and none of them would say, 'I don't like sand. It's rough and gritty... not like you'."
"Yeah, she may be smooth, but he sure isn't."
"GRONNNK!"
"... Laugh it up, fuzzball!"
  • Current Music
    Nod Over Coffee -- Pierce Pettis
  • jadian

Here kitty kitty

In which lowrentvalkyrie discusses her cats... here.

I've noted certain developments in Pixie's unusually high intelligence that are simply... disturbing. For instance, she's figured out how to turn an ordinary kitchen chair into an armored vehicle. Because, yes, my apartment is decorated in Early American College Student, and yes, my kitchen chairs are actually office chairs. With wheels. Pixie has figured out that if she jumps on them when they're on the linoleum floor, she can make them roll. And she has. Right toward Stranger. There was an unfortunate miscalculation in Pixie's plans, when she realized that forcefully jumping on the chair when the chair is on the carpet will not, in fact, make the chair move, but will, in fact, make the chair rotate for six full revolutions.
smug

If the Punisher ran a nunnery.....

And yet more exquisitely addictive fun from sages_of_chaos, perhaps the most quotable of all LJ communities (If you have over several hundred excellent writers and characters in one place, this is inevitable.)

Someone posted here a few days ago about the Punisher's concern regarding one community member's fangirling squeals over mechanoid community members (Cybertronians, androids, etc.) The Punisher decides that said fangirl (ashudastampedo) should spend some calming time in a nunnery. Here, she resigns herself to the inevitable, because who is going to argue with the Punisher? When asked what kind of nunnery she is being sent to, the Punisher responds:

subtle_guns: "Our Lady of Progressive Secularism is not a typical nunnery.

You can take classes in foreign languages, grappling, escrima, history, firearms training, humanities, arts and crafts, first aid, wind surfing, cellular biology, physics of ballistics, botany, ethics, forensic psychology, game theory, Silician cooking, meteorology, survival training, and how to defy the laws of physics by packing ten cubic feet of items into a suitcase with two cubic feet of space.

I teach the ethics class."


That would be my kind of nunnery, if it were real. This community winds up on metaquotes all of the time, and really, I cannot recommend it enough.
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    amused amused
HELLO?! EW!

-clickclickclick-

bearpawly enlightens his friends in a locked post about a new discovery.

For some reason, I'm annoyed by the click-click-click sound of a plastic spoon being scooped along the bottom of a yogurt cup to collect that last possible residue from that God-awful concoction.

Oh, the humanity!Collapse )
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    amused amused
rage-clean ALL the things

(no subject)

The ever amusing chaosvizier (co mod of the frabjillious ljdq) discussing grammar, here

If God didn't want us describing things, we wouldn't have adjectives and adverbs. Unfortunately, Satan gave us grammatical loopholes so that we could turn anything into a descriptor, and that's where people like me start adjectivally transforming our descriptilicious language.
Porntestpilot

Orlando Bloom and Jesus

Quoted from a comment in a locked post with permission:


Jesus has had too much exposure to be really cool anymore. It's hard to be a fan of someone when people are always shoving his fantasticness down your throat and telling you you'll burn for all eternity if you aren't a devoted follower of his latest project or something.

Plus, he is totally type-cast all the time. He's all, "I am your Lord and Savior, I am your Lord and Savior!" And it's like, yeeeaaah, but can you play a gay pirate?
Red Sag

Baaaa!

smtfhw, on sheep:

It occurred to me on my way home from work yesterday that there are few more pathetic looking creatures than a newly-shorn sheep. Yesterday morning they were all woolly and warm, and now they're wandering around with the ovine equivalent of a short-back-and-sides and an expression that says "what the fuck just happened?"
  • Current Music
    David Bowie - John, I'm only Dancing
Biblecrank?
  • fengi

From the quieter side of the Church

mikester finds a rather extreme anti-dating essay on a right wing "Bible" website with sentences like, "In scripture it is obvious that daughters are to submit to their father's authority..." and "Dating creates a permanent endorphin-bond between two people who will not spend their lives together."

In response he observes: "You know, I believe in God, and yet I seem to have managed to not go completely insane."