April 29th, 2005

Red Sag

(no subject)

izcoatl has achy feet. And her son has a well-developing wit; QWP.

My son noticed me limping this evening. "What's the matter?"
I showed him the massive weeping blister on my left heel which was the result of my wearing new shoes on Sunday.
"My God!" He exclaimed in horror. "You should put something on that..." *pause* "How about a party hat?"
katie - what?

You know you're a West Wing fan when...

Over in west_wing_fans, people often say things like "Martin Sheen is my president,"  but dvl_wears_prada takes the cake in her comment in this thread about Mr. Bush's press conference tonight.
When my roomie and I went to vote in November, we both wore our "Martin Sheen is my President" t-shirt...and then, to be extra funny, I ran out of the booth and screamed "Something has gone horribly wrong!! Martin Sheen is not an option!! I have to pick between Mr No-Personality and Yosemite Sam?! I QUIT!"
Gene Kelly

(no subject)

quoted with permission from a flocked post in kuronekoami's journal. the entry itself was originally an AIM conversation, but since it's pretty much a monologue with random interjections of "lol" and so on, i've edited it down.

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the bolded sentence is where i completely lost control to the gigglefits.
  • Current Music
    The Luckiest (Ben Folds)

Because it made me giggle

From halowrites


there's an ad on tv here in New Zealand for Johnson's Baby Soft Baby Lotion, and the voiceover is done by Hugh Laurie. (in his real British voice, which, mmmm.) I tell you, it makes me want to buy bottles and bottles of the stuff and just squirt it in my pants.
Bald Me
  • snowwy

Accomplishment, ye olde schoole style

From the golden maiagirl, flocked and quoted with permission
It just needs the whole damned post, because explaining ruins it.  here we go:

I have much glorious battle news to post. I have banished The Fruit Flies of Malfeasance and The Dirty Dishes of Doom from the Land of the Kitchen, and after a long and glorious battle I have destroyed the Clutter of Chaos and the Vicious Dust Bunnies from the front room. And finally, with the help of the powerful wizard Dr. Bronner, I have broken The Curse of Poor Body Odor.

If anyone should try to aid these wicked villains in their attempts to return to the kingdom of Caer Leonis before the party tomorrow, I will cut out their heart with a kitchen knife and sacrifice it to Martha Stewart, who demands human hearts because she has none of her own.

You may return to your duties now.
tiger hiding

personification of shopping

slammerkinbabe does another hysterical post about shopping.
KYLIE: Okay! So, Macy's. Macy's is pretty basic, right? All I need is a decent-looking shirt and some kind of necklace thing.
MACY'S: ::is friggin' huge::
KYLIE: ::wanders around for a long time; finally finds women's wear section::
KYLIE: All right! So now I can find something pretty -
BRIGHT ORANGE SWEATER WITH SPARKLY PINK BUTTERFLY ON THE SHOULDER: ::winks::
PUKE-GREEN FILMY SHIRT SLIT OPEN TO THE BELLYBUTTON: ::leers::
MUSTARD YELLOW RIBBED TWINSET: ::hisses::
KYLIE: Whoa.

You should read the entire monolouge.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/slammerkinbabe/362100.html
crazed

Door to Door Evangelism: It's Gonna Be Big

virgin sacrifice

Neil Gaiman Strikes Again

From officialgaiman:

Why do you write your,or any books/novels?

I write my books/novels because if I don't, I can't guarantee that anyone else will.

I write other people's books and novels because... actually, I have no idea why I write other people's books and novels. Until I read this question, I didn't even know that I did.
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    amused amused