April 28th, 2005

Magret dreams

naudiz on religion.

I've decided to cut the bullshit and get right to the point.

Organized Religion!


Can't we give these idiots a state, let them secede, and get on with our lives? Sorry, Florida. Your track record isn't looking so hot these days anyway. From henceforth you shall be known as the Theocracy of Unmitigated Idiocy owned and run by the Church of Some Crazy Shit. The rest of us will go on ahead doing that separation of church and state thing that's been working out so well for us.

(no subject)

Okay, this was posted form my friend's journal. We both go to the same school here, and our Principal just got on announcments to tell us that, in the last three weeks of shool they willb e cracking down on drinking among the sutdetns. Apparently someonf them drink during class, or go out to their cars and such. Now, the other bit of background info id that our school mascot in teh Redhawk. Here you go.

"When Barrenwall concluded his speech he said, "Redhawks [our mascot] flee from drugs and alcohol!"
It was just so stupid. First off, it doesn't really make sense. If you're going to use a mascot in some saying like that, at least have it an actual comparison to something that the red-tailed hawk actually does. Secondly... flee? Flee? To run away or escape from danger, pursuit, unpleasantness, etc? What the hell kind of anti-drug motto is that? "I'm scared of drugs, so I run away from them as fast as physically possible!" Yeah, that's a strong, defiant message.
It may have been the stupidest thing I have ever heard my principal utter.

So, yep..."

"Oh god! Pot! RUN!"

First post here...

Quoted with permission from a friends-only post by so_pseudogoth:

"Take a Chance on Me" rhymes with "sodomy"!

Note to self: Writing an essay about the theme of domination and sodomy in Deliverance while listening to ABBA is not a good idea. You managed to make Bobby Trippe's rape seem sort of bubbly and happy. Must go back and revise while listening to music that doesn't put one in the mood to be "Yay gay men!"
agent may is unimpressed

On fandom one-up-manship

[L]istening to Chris Sabat and Sean Schimmel discuss the strengths and weaknesses of their respective roles [on the recent DBZ release] (Vegeta would get you better service in a restaurant.) reminded me a lot of the episodes leading up to Goku/Vegeta II, where their wives were debating who would win.

Chi-Chi: I'll have you know my husband has _never_ lost a fight.
Bulma: Oh, _really_. Is that why he wears that _halo_?
Me: (to the TV) Ladies, please, Cell kicked _both_ their asses!

As far as I'm concerned, this was one of my best witty retorts to a TV ever. Being a misanthropic hermit, I have to take my victories where I can. Also, there's a measure of wisdom to this line of reasoning. I forsee an age where all arguments are settled this way. Dr. Who versus Serenity? Ladies please, _both_ your fandoms suck compared to Cell. Dick Sergeant versus Dick York? Ladies, please, Cell would have made a _much_ better Darrin. Superman versus Thor? Ladies, please, Cell would be the meat in a beatdown sammich, but even so, he can eat people with his ass, and that still counts for something at the end of the day.


You know... this cold medicine is...

--mike_smith really loves him some Cell.

The meta-meta died for your sins.

In this post about the evils of organized religion, karjack was quoted as saying "Can't we give these idiots a state, let them secede, and get on with our lives?"

alryssa: The Brits already tried it with the Puritans a few hundred years ago. Just ask Janet Jackson's left breast how well THAT idea panned out.

outofbeta: *snort*

You 1,247, Life 0. Breasts stopped play.

Thank you, thank you. Try the veal, it's delish.
  • Current Music
    Suddenly - Atheneum
dancing indigo

(no subject)

Happy belated Birthday Jack Klugman!

'On November 13th, Ace Frehley was asked to remove himself from his place in the band. That request came from Gene Simmons. Deep down, he knew Gene was right, but he also knew that someday he would return to the band.'

'With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend, Oscar Madison. Sometime earlier, Madison's wife had thrown him out, requesting that he never return. Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?'       

alladinsane, here.

(no subject)

wednes in response to katie_can_draw's post about children's books:

"Myself, I like the old school Grimm tales where children are being torn apart by wolves or cut up for stew. In the US of A, kids aren't really exposed to extreme peril in fairy tales like they used to be. That kid who thinks he had such "terrible horrible, no good very bad day" is really kind of a whiny wuss. "Oh no...not plain white shoes?!?" Whatever punk, you should be glad your grandmother wasn't eaten by yet another wolf. So I guess my main concern with contemporary children's stories is the lack of ravenous wolves."

(no subject)

hija_paloma's dog has issues:

2am, bathing the dog, because he peed in his crate and then curled up and slept in it while you were gone? Ass.

Falling asleep, exhausted, after a long but finally rewarding day, curled around a dog that smells like Johnson's baby bath?

Random - Trippy Colours

Under pressure

silverbriar has come into crunch time at school, and last night she delivered a little plea.

Dear Brain,

I realize I am a callous bitch who has plied you with both upper and downer chemicals. But please, stay on topic for five more minutes so I may finish this google search. Please stop typing things along the lines of "groundwater, michigan, levels, polyamorous relationships, hookers". While the search results are funny- the certain lack of of of of valve control in the brain is getting frustrating.

Thank you.
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    amused amused
dark goat

the not-so-strappy shoes

More tales of the neurotic caffeine addicted french girl having another Carrie Bradshaw day:

"[while I was running from the CEO's office to my desk], a strap on my steeletto sandal snapped off. no amount of taping, glueing or stapling could save it. faced with the possibility of attending tonight's meeting with a shoe adorned with a dysfunctional strap, i decided to cut it off. now, since i'm kind of anal about my shoes actually *matching*, i had to cut the strap off of the other perfectly fine shoe. mind you, these are the sandals that have no more stopper on the heel, i'm walking on the metal tip. i look and sound like a pityful rendition of Shirley Temple's Good Ship Lollipop when i walk anywhere, people in China can hear me coming just by listening to the dull "clikety click" that follows me anywhere i go. at least i entertain small children with my "tap shoes". these same shoes are also covered in black Sharpie marker, to hide all the scuffs and scratches i've managed to win on them"
  • Current Music
    Planet Vibe: Hindi Club Hits vol. 1

(no subject)

wedschilde is going in for surgery and was sent Good Karma...

"i will gladly hoard any good karma that might be heading my way. hell, i'll even steal it from the little cancer-striken kid lying on the prep table next to me. you know...the one that baked all those cookies so kids in south africa would have shoes for their first school year?

i'm not proud. i'll steal karma."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

My first post!! WHOO!

In a flocked post by entropymagnet, she writes about her latest bruise to the male ego:

I have my health exam at 11:00 today so my away message on AIM said:

"it's 9:30 in the morning -- i "slept late" by the standards of many ecu students. ...not late enough, apparently? ...i was having the best dream but i had to wake up, for today is the health exam. ...yes, boys and girls, i had to interrupt my perfectly awesome dream so i can go label penises and vaginas. ...yay. :-X"

Jon left me a message that said, "You sure you can do that? You haven't seen one of those lately!"

And I replied, "By that logic, I hope I don't have to label the stages of orgasm, either."

...He totally thought I was referring to him as being inadequate, when I was really just referring to the fact that we haven't had a sex life at all lately, because we've had so much going on and all.

Male ego, beware: I WILL CRUSH YOU.

Quoted with permission because I rock like that.

(no subject)

Me: Genetically-made perfect miniature animals would make my life complete.

crantz: the closest I've managed to finding that sort of thing is my panda hamster. Same colouring, delicious hamster taste.

--from a thread in which crantz's ambitions re: acquiring a pet goat are thwarted by The Man.
i bit them

Consider the devolutionary implications.

dreamkingcomments in my journal, on a lively discussion of a rather succinct essay on the infamous Left Behind series:

My parents actually believe that this is how it will happen. They also believe that people in the middle east are actually demons and that Jesus'll be waving ol' glory when he comes.

I swear that if you went back to 1983 and replaced my parents with ill-tempered orangutans my life would have been exactly the same.
dancing indigo

Blade, Drag Queen

Ok, so... we have all this advertisement at work for Blade: Trinity. Yeah, great, good. The only problem is, the last movie I saw (a couple of weeks ago) with Wesley Snipes in it was To Wong Foo.

I keep getting images of Noxeema Jackson, Wesley's character, bitchslapping a vampire while proclaiming, "Uh-uh, honey. Aunti Noxie did NOT say you could have a bite."

--iceraver on a locked entry QWP.
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    amused amused
{HP} Hermione

(no subject)

ragabashtule laments the leftist anarchist influence on AI (bolded, the part I like best):

I cannot believe Constantine got voted off American Idol last night. I've been reading up on the Television Without Pity forums quite profusely for the last day or so. Everyone there seems to hate Constantine. I personally think it's all a c-o-n-spiracy put on by leftist liberal anarchists who want to subvert the system. Who knows? I swear if Scott goes all the way and wins this thing because of them, I am so joining their cause next season and intentionally voting for the worst person.

* * *

And, shakinros talks of reaching the "I just don't care" status on her job (locked post, QWP, again, my favorite is bolded):

I have now officially reached "I just don't care" status at my job. That was fast. Now that I know I'm leaving and my boss knows I'm leaving and everyone knows I'm leaving, I'm just sloughing off projects left and right. It feels really good actually. I should have done this much MUCH sooner. So , no teacher workshop this summer. Screw the teachers. No witty emails to the listserv. Screw wit wasted on strangers.

* * *

Don't know why it amuses me so much; it just does. :D
Green K
  • klytus

(no subject)

Quoted from an open post on selkiesiren journal. Many discussion with her honey seem to generate good lines.

Well, WTF, then? Between her and (another person), I am beginning to wonder if I speak some alien language of which sounds exactly like english, but every 4th word means "fuck you".
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
cimorene by pentapus


(I’m quoting myself *and* someone else at the same time, so I’m hoping I’ve put this in the right spot, but if I haven’t just holler)

In </a></b></a>animorphs we were discussing the fact that Shawn Ashmore (who played Jake on the Animorphs TV show) have Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn from Buffy) have been dating for a year now, sparking this exchange:

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