April 27th, 2005

phoenix ezzicons/xiggy
  • conuly

Taken from a comment to a post in mock_the_stupid

Here.

"Martin Luther might have purchased his African-American ethnicity sometime in the late 1879. It is unknown what Martin Luther did between the mid-16th Century and 1879, however. It is speculated that he spent a hundred years or so as a bearded old Uigur chieftain in an attempt to raise a muslim separatist movement somewhere in western China."

Twice in two days, I'm sorry.
Whuh Huh?!

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

ursulav, a keen observer of wildlife, posts an account of her gay cardinals. (Or yes, yes, "very territorial cardinals," it's just funnier the other way!) Sacreligious hilarity ensues.

duncandahusky: I'm sure gay cardinals aren't all that uncommon. Why, I'll bet if you checked around The Vatican... {ba-dum-bum!} Thank you, I'm here all week. Try the veal...
ursulav: Great. I am struck with the sudden image of cackling elderly men in red robes running through the woods behind my house, doin' the nasty. Believe me, if it happens, the blog entry will be a lot longer.
lstone: The blog entry? I'm sure the national news entries will be much longer.
ursulav: *laugh!* Good point! I suppose I might want to alert the authorities if that ever goes down...
lstone: I think I'd take one look, whimper, and call the police from where I'd be hiding under the covers. I can imagine it.
"Nine-one-one, please state the nature of your emergency..."
"*whimper* I have a pair of wrinkly old guys in red robes running around behind my house, playing Holy Ghost..."
"...not again."

shavastak: It might be a dominance display - maybe it was a territorial fight. But you do seem to attract the interesting crowd. Maybe they just *know* it's your place and are hoping you'll paint pictures. :)
ashteth: Cardinal 1: No really, this one will paint anything! I've seen her at it.
Cardinal 2: Nah, come on. Bet she wouldn't paint this!
*insert gay cardinal sex here*
Cardinal 1: LOOK LOOK there she is! Dude, we are soooo famous!
bigsciencybrain Tara username

(no subject)

This quote from hopefulnebula pretty much sums up her life at college.

A Nighttime Prayer for the SID College Student

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the neighbors quiet keep.
If they should sing before I wake,
I pray that strep their voices take.

I crack the window for the breeze
and pleasant shadows cast by trees.
If someone's car alarm should ring,
I wish that car to get a ding.
Red Sag

Of grammar

For some reason, ariskari managed to amuse me greatly with this:


I've found a fantastic way of explaining the passé composse: It's not just the past tense. It's "a speshul kind of past tense or else it wouldn't be called passe compossé! Because God knows that grammar doesn't have enough useless classifications.

In all seriousness, it's not just 'past tense'. It's like 'past tense but when you're conjugating verbs in a strange, strange ways that they where never meant to be conjugated and oh my god what is that!' or something."
I am unreasonable

(no subject)

fragbert says, in a friends-locked post:


fragbert's 1st Law of The Intarweb: When a single person posts a rant in a community, and the author then has to continually defend the rant against the ever-increasing multitudes of negative responses and challenges, the chances of the author deleting said post and accusing all and sundry of having no life approaches 100%.
Monkeeeeeeey
  • eimran

Oh Sim Dating Games...You so CAH-RAY-ZEE

So my friend sweetprince comments on the absurdity of an online sim dating game a friend showed him the other night...

so, i'm on a spaceship with five girls. i need to talk to them, and do other things, and slowly build up my relationship points. if i don't say what they want to hear, or if i talk to them when they don't want to talk to me, i won't get any points.

but, before i've spoken to them at all, if i just barge into their bedrooms and beat them up, the more brutally i defeat them, the more my relationship points increase.

simulations teach me so much about humanity.


From a locked post, quoted with permission. :D
  • Current Music
    Guster. :D
Bitchcakes

(no subject)

Quoting the ever-beautiful beautyid, here, in this thread:

3. YOUR TOASTER OVEN HAS SUDDENLY EXPLODED! If the bits of flaming toaster oven are travelling northwest at 2.8256 KPH and a train from Montreal is travelling southeast at 18352.2832 KPH, who would you rather go to bed with, Legolas or Aragorn?
independent thought alarm

On Nick Studio's death

corbinq27 reflected on Nickelodeon Studio's demise in this post, and made a comment regarding what he would buy if they sold set pieces off:

"Olmec, on the other hand, would be a pretty damn useful thing to have because I'd sit him right by my door, and any time I lose anything like my car keys, I'd just ask Olmec to tell me the legend of whatever it is I can't find.

He'd ramble on for a few minutes, and then he'd say something like "The car keys can be found in the SHRINE of the SILVER MONKEY." I'd then check under the couch."
Monkeeeeeeey
  • eimran

(no subject)

eithnepdb had a little too much fun freakin' out a guy in the elevator after lunch today...

Cute Guy from the 5th Floor: Didn’t we ride up in the elevator together this morning?

Me: Why yes we did.

Cute Guy from the 5th Floor: Wow -- that’s quite a coincidence.

Me: Not really, I’m stalking you, I’m just not very good at it yet.

...She thought it was funny, a lot of us on her friends' list thought it was funny. Apparently he was not amused.

....Quoted, With Permission!
  • Current Mood
    naughty naughty
Starry Night

(no subject)

free_of_whip said in a reply to a locked post:
My worst experience at a baseball game: my alumni association (Hopkins) offered tickets to an Orioles game, so I decided to go with my then husband and our two children. My daughter started out rooting for the Orioles. However, halfway through, she noticed that they were not likely to win. Wanting to be on the winning side, she suddenly switched and started rooting for the Yankees--right in the middle of the Hopkins alumni association.

Let this be a warning to you: always remember to use contraception. ;-)</font>
kh || axel || hip to be square

EXTREME!!!!, yo

bubonicplague here.

In other news, I received a handwritten note from my boss reading "Friday 12:00 - Extreme Chan". I swear I stared at it for fifteen minutes before I realized that it was Extreme Clean, the carpet shampooing company. See how fandom has warped my little mind? Although, now I will read no chan except EXTREME chan. Snape fucks Harry during a free-climb! EXTREME!!!!!
Mind Trip

This made me giggle...

I was reading ladyjaida's post and I came across this...

Then we all wandered the halls acting like we'd really bought blow and prostitutes. "Will that be points or dining dollars?" "I'm sorry, you can only get hookers with dining dollars, not points."
  • Current Music
    'No Lies, Just Love' by Bright Eyes
i think we&#39;re alone now

ALERT: WHINING DETECTED.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
[ALERT] You have just gone over quota: whining.
[ALERT] Your posting privileges have been revoked.
[ALERT] Failure: attempts to gain more whining quota to reinstate posting privileges.
[ALERT] Maximum martyrdom level exceeded.
[ALERT] Alarm: bullshit-o-meter reading: 113%
[ALERT] Alarm: bullshit-o-meter: critical mass exceeded.
[ALERT] Proceed with cranio-rectal expulsion protocols.
REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

--surreality, from a locked post, used with her permission.
KV: Dark

My first post...

In which mysoul discovers that some people should stay out of the loop.

So, anyway, I started explaining what Lupus was to a friend last night. The conversation was, uhm, interesting to say the least.

"Did you find out what's wrong with you?"
"No, not yet. They took some blood and I have to go back for an ultrasound for my stomach."
"What did they take blood for?"
"To test for Lupus."
"Lupus? I've never heard of it, what is that?"
"It's just a thing, you know. It's an autoimmune deficiency thing."
"Autoimmune deficiency thing..." Silence... "They think you have AIDS?"
"What? No, they think I have Lupus."
"But you said it's an autoimmune deficiency thing."
"It is."
"Autoimmune deficiency is AIDS!"
"No, autoimmune deficiency syndrome is AIDS. Lupus is not AIDS. It's just a thing."
"But it's like AIDS?"
"Sort of."
"How can it be 'sort of' like AIDS? Are you going to die?"
"No, I'm not going to die. And it's like AIDS in the fact that your immune system doesn't work right. You get sick easily and then your body basically attacks itself because it can't differentiate between your good cells and the invading ones."
"So it's just like AIDS."


The rest of the conversation is here. And I highly suggest you check it out because the end line is the best part after all of this.

Quoted with permission.
BtVS - whinier than my LJ

(no subject)

QWP. fadingembers sings of a wanker's exploits by parodying "Ozymandias":

"I met a wanker from the western land
Who said: Two vast and trunksize legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half assed, a shattered visage lies, whose spork,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of faux apathy,
Tell that its life well those passions faked,
Which yet survive, stamped on this brainless thing,
The hands that mocked them, and the attention that fed,
And on the laptop these words appear:
"My name is *******, Queen of Batshit:
Look upon my wank, ye shitty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck; boundless and bare
The lone and level sands run far away."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused