April 21st, 2005

merchgirl

(no subject)

thebratqueen, referring to an article about a punk knitter who goes out of her way to prove that she's not a beginner:

In fandom you get people who look down their noses at those who don't write in the pairing/genre/fandom that they think is cool, and in knitting it's the same damn thing. Makes you think how somewhere out there there's a brain surgeon thumbing her nose at the heart surgeons, and savagely mocking them for not being as avant guarde as she is.
moon

X-POPE

Composed by titlecharacter - I first saw it when it was linked on scans_daily.

Complete post here, it's great :)

Papal reboot
VATICAN CITY (Reuters): As Pope Benedict XVI's first major act as Pontiff, the Vatican will initiate the long-anticipated "Papal reboot" process. Some popes will be recreated; others will be dropped entirely.

In a press conference Wednesday morning, Papal spokesman Fr. Anthony del Rico said that "Many people want to get into Catholicism, but 2000 years of back content makes that a very intimidating process. In addition, we're hoping to renew the Papal line for a new generation."

Under the plan, detailed on the Vatican's website, Benedict XVI will be the last Benedict in the current version of the papcy. After his death, according to Fr. del Rico, "We're starting over from scratch - Benedict I, all over again." The plan currently calls for the 23 Johns to be scaled down to 5 or even fewer; the Clements and Leos will be eliminated, and the Vatican will finally bow to pressure to remove Pius entirely. "Paul is definitely sticking around as a name and basic character," Fr. del Rico said, "but the new Paul will be a troubled Nigerian boy with the power to command lightning. We wanted to show a little more diversity in the papacy to reflect the Church's membership."

Among the most controversial moves, however, is likely to be the replacement of Innocents I-VII with a villainous cyborg called Guilty-XXI, while VIII-XIII will be relaunched as a teenage girl from an alternate dimension in which the Cold War never ended. Her miraculous abilities are being kept tightly under wraps by the Vatican, leading to conjecture from some religoius scholars that her appearance may be central to the plot of the relaunch.
Mad Stylin Yo!

Of 'bones and oil

kitznegari was in the mood to play her trombone the other night, but alas, she couldn't find any slide oil... and without the oil, the trombone is basically unplayable.

However, she found an alternative, as recounted here:

I was digging through my bag trying to find the oil and lo and behold, what should I stumble across but a little packet of personal lubricant that the university women's center give away, which I'd grabbed as a funny.

*looks at the trombone*
*looks at the packet*
*looks at the trombone again*

I am not kidding when I say that this is the slickest my slide has ever been. no joke.
  • Current Music
    Splashdown - Sugar High
Rorschach

I can't believe no one's quoted this yet.

From ellielabelle's A Brief Brief History of Time, Chapter Two:

Einstein: *waves* Hi there! No pictures plz. And I won’t be sticking my tongue out, kthanxbai.

The Universe: *mutters* Prima donna.

Einstein: I’ve figured out something. You might not like it.

Einstein’s co-worker: What is it this time, Albo?

Einstein: It’s your turn to fill the coffee machine. And I’ve broken physics.


Collapse )
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    Idiot next to me on his cell phone
I am a girl of the future

(no subject)

juliadactyl discusses who would win in a cage fight between Jesus and Wolverine:

I can't believe anyone even needs to ask that question. The knowledge is so obvious it should be instinctual from birth, like when babies are born in water and they know how to swim and not to breathe underwater. Wolverine would so obviously win, and I have the scientific proof to prove it[1].

1. Jesus died and rose again later. Therefore, Jesus is a vampire.
2. Vampires can be killed by Van Helsing.
3. Hugh Jackman is Van Helsing.
4. Hugh Jackman is also Wolverine.

UNDISPUTABLE PROOF!

[1]May not contain actual science.</a>
Windflowers

From my sister jesfine

In my journal, I talked about holding a special passover seder for some of the teenagers at church because their teacher does one in which she explains how every detail has to do with Jesus.

jesfine's response: "sounds like she was trying to do "six degrees of separation from jesus christ"."

It made me snort and giggle.
Spam

(no subject)

annilita said the following in a locked entry (yes, I got permission)

I emailed Kim at Crochetme with a question, and included a picture of my muppet skin containers, and she totally wants them!

Who da bomb?

Why, I am. Thank you for asking!

And since we haven't had enough snark today

And since we haven't had our recommended daily allowance of snark, I'd like to bring up domina_lilith's take on geeky activities:
LAN Parties - It's where Twinkies and kids nicknamed "Chunk" find destiny in each other. A bunch of people with great technological power (usually customer service reps and, surprisingly, LAN admins), hook up all their computers so they can all play the same video game at the same time. Once, a long time ago, a geek realized he had finally made two friends, but he only had two joysticks. Thus, the LAN party was born.

Live Action Role Playing - Watch Queen of the Damned, 4,000 times. Buy a polyester cape from the clearance rack at Spencer's. Hang out at the mall until you're good and angsty (and smell like potpourri). Now, you're ready to prance around town in your underoos and pretend to be a dragon.

Tabletopped Games - It's like your grandmother's bridge club...for basement trolls. You draw up a character sheet, and your Daddy/Mommy (DM) reads you a story. And you roll dice. Did I mention the dice? 4, 6, 18, 32, 64, 128 sided dice. Imagine if your friends wrote "Choose Your Own Adventure" stories. Congratulations. You have just suffered the gaming experience, all while saving countless hours, time, and your precious pride.

The SCA - Where obesity is a sign of wealth and people beat each other with insulated sticks. Yes, it's real. But in all fairness, they don't just go out in the wood like herds of insulated buffalo and beat each other. They also fashion basic garments, forge jewelry, and attempt to make foods and beverages. Fortunately, all of this information is available on the internet and most of the players fund these great efforts through minimum wage jobs, affording them roughly the same level of comfort the "barons" and "baronesses" of olde might have enjoyed. Of course, they didn't insulate their weapons, so 98.9% of this loyal following would have fattened pigs long ago.

Magic/Yu-Gi-Oh/CCGs - For the outcast among outcasts, when you don't have enough friends to tabletop. Some kids save their allowances for years to buy one card which is worth several thousand dollars. What's truly cruel is that many of these players maintain this hobby well into their twenties, pushing the younger generation out of the heavyweight market.
tylor

on God's will

Thus spake theonewhospeaks:

"Jesus rose from the dead and moved a big-ass rock out of his way so he could get out of the tomb. It would be a piece of cake to let a sperm through a tied-off tube, if it was really his will that a baby be concieved."

(Original conversation here in childfree)
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    amused amused
fanficcers

(no subject)

From a locked post by the amusingly insane osiris_06, quoted with permission:

I now know that I have officially been on livejournal too long. [A friend] was putting up a poster of some guy, and she accidentally tore his head. She went to search for tape, while my first thought was "my hed is pastede on yey."

In other news, Mom found a recipe for chocolate-covered matzo. I feel compelled to try it.


And, later:

And history will absolutely be the death of me. We have class at 7 tomorrow morning. *tries to resist urge to throw a duck at [her history teacher].* No, I can't explain why I want to throw a duck at [my history teacher], other than to say that I've gone mad. *cue evil cackling and ominous music*
FILM » like guns and ammunition

(no subject)

savagelove, here:

People helping people--that's what this column is all about. Of course, sometimes that means people are helping people who fantasize about people being eaten by zombies, but what are you going do?
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
and there is death

I need a "please, won't someone think of the bisexuals?" icon.

Reply by insidian to a apocalypsos entry saying "Bill O'Reilly just tried to argue that we can't have gay marriage because then the bisexuals will want to marry.":


Does Good Ol' Bill even know what a bisexual IS? Or is he just banging the drum against polygamy?

"Those danged bisexuals! Why can't they stop having bisex!?!?"
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    Thea Gilmore - Ever Fallen in Love
Thrax

(no subject)

I can't help it. This must be shared.

"It's like a set of aye-aye dominoes. It's just so beautiful."

--cheezdanish, here. Funny not only because of the endearing hideousness of the icon in question, but also because...well, it was like a set of aye-aye dominoes. If you can imagine such a thing.

But how was he SUPPOSED to react???

I don't think I need to friends lock the posts where I drool over Hottie Prof anymore. I'm pretty sure he knows.
Probably has something to do with that time I walked up to him and said, "Do me now, Stabler!"
He didn't react as I intended. He looked all puzzled and said, "WHAT?!" so I repeated, "Do you have a stapler?"

True story, guys.
I swear on the bible.
Heh.


Geex, could I beg a little harder to be metaquotesed?

~neurotica0  in a rare UN-friends-locked post here.

Two minor explanations:
1.  She's an atheist, which makes the swearing on the bible even better.
2.  Geex is not a typo.  I asked.  As she puts it in the comments to that entry, "It's like jesus but for atheists."

</span> Edit: Broken link fixed.
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    "Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me" by Keith "Hottie" Urban

Meta-meta-meta!

Its the metaquote that keeps on giving...

marseverlasting: I thought the Police Sting as well. Had to re-read it before actually coming to the conclusion "oh, the sword." Now that that is established, I can resume laughing at the mental image of a twenty-three year-old overweight Peter Jackson look-alike swinging the rock star over his head. "Roxanne, thou shalt not pass!"
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    Evanescence - Going Under