April 7th, 2005

Vesica Woman

Worst. Gifts. EVER.

_siddal_ shares a friend's tale of woe about Collapse )

Also, from the same post:

"I have actually learned a valuable lesson from Grandma - a scapegoat can be a wonderful thing. LOL, recently Robert Miller lost my husband's very expensive Persol sunglasses... I know *nothing* about it, and did *not* leave them at the library..."

Read the whole thing -- the saga of Robert Miller is a hoot!

  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly

(no subject)

thm on the true intransigence of the British Prime Minister (in a comment to a post of mine, oddly enough):

The day that man listens to anything other than A) his own sense of self-righteousness and B) the Shrub, is the day that we find Elvis, Osama Bin Laden, and Pope John Paul II in a hot tub.

Voters of Great Britain, you have been warned.
  • Current Mood
    cynical cynical

CARTOONS. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Once upon a time, there was an anime series called Full Metal Alchemist. It was adored by all, sometimes eerily so. But then! There was an anime review that said that FMA was not the best thing since sliced bread! OH NOES!

Obviously, there was wank.

Which leads to this brilliant piece of snarking:

"Everyone should know it's physically impossible to dislike FMA! Sometimes, as I lay in bed at night, surrounded by my 300 Ed keychains, I get doubts, but these filthy thoughts are most quickly QUASHED by the comforting words from the keychains that explain to me that NO, MOLLY, NO, IT IS THE SPACE-LASERS COMING DOWN AND INFECTING THEIR BRAINS, THEY DO NOT KNOW THEY REALLY LOVE FMA, THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY ARE SAYING and I go back to sleep because then I feel better. Then, as I drift off, they say more and more things and I start to get a little scared, but then I remember, it is Ed or rather 300 of him, he will not hurt me.

Criticism displeases Ed! Terminate the nonbeliever!"
-- crabapple_pie
Andy

Wedding postponements

Found on here, by turk_diddler on the subject of the mess caused by the postponement of Charles and Camilla's wedding so Charles can attend the ex-Pope's funeral:

At least the Grand National was put back, if nothing else it'll give Camilla time to change out of the wedding frock and warm up.... yadda yadda yadda...
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
pants

(no subject)

phrawzty has some old computer stuff for sale in montreal, here.

All items are sold as-is, with no warranty, merchantability, or fitness for a particular use expressed or implied. Do not bend or fold. Not to be taken internally. The monitor is cursed, but it comes with free frogurt. The frogurt is also cursed.
  • Current Music
    Chris Cornell - Wave Goodbye
jenova

(no subject)

scott_lynch is master of t3h funny. From Customers_Suck. Go read the whole thing, it had me in tears. x)

"Our CEO says, "Now, if you'll look at all of these contact information fields, you'll see that you have a wide array of available information about this particular contact, whose name happens to be..."

And then our CEO turns to read the screen for the first time, and he seizes up. Freezes like a prisoner of war in an old WWII movie, crawling out of his escape tunnel right into a German spotlight.

Client CEO (chuckling): "Go ahead! Tell us the contact's name."
Our CEO: "Mr... Mr. Retardo Assface Fuckenstein."
Client CEO (keeping a straight face): "And who does he work for?"
Our CEO: "Uh... he works for... the, uh... Smelly Shit Corporation."

Things kinda went downhill from there. ;)"
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    giggly giggly
the shep! the hair!
  • soleta

(no subject)

lordmork, in a post of ten 'truths' about a mutual friend:

7. Flax does not smoke cigarettes. Instead, he carefully rolls the hopes, dreams and fantasies of mary-sue writers, which he then lights up and basks in the smoke of.
Josh - wait what? (by megathy27)

Aerobics with the Phantom of the Opera

rainbowjehan's brain is mad:

Right, so. This morning, [...] I was doing my aerobics [...] and at the part where one does squats, Madam Smith said unto me,--

"Don't bring your fanny below the level of your knees."

A perfectly innocuous thing to say. However, Soujin's mad little brain instantly shouted,--

"And raise up your hands to the level of your eyes!"

I still cannot say why.

As a result, I have, all morning, been plagued with a vision of Erik leading an exercise class. I can see him now, ugly, dead, adorned with mask and probably a gratuitous cloak, crying in his mellifluous voice,--

"And take it to the side, and one, and two, and three, and four--last time! and one, and two, and three, and four--now lift your knee! Higher! Higher! Now take to the ground, low," &c.

It is a horrible picture. I do not understand myself at all.
[me] less revealing than you think
  • yueni

Scallops?

bedlamite3 is annoyed with McDonalds:

So I'm at McDonald's having a McSpicy Double meal (I dunno why I keep going back there, the food is shit) and then I notice what's on the box. 100% chicken? That's what I SHOULD be getting when I buy a goddamn chicken burger, right? What the fuck else is in there, scallops? On second thought, I don't want to know. Fuck.
polycorns

There're a couple more funny bits in the rest of the thread.

I just keep wondering what that army was like outside of combat.

I mean, here you have 150 ASS-STOMPING motherfuckers, undefeated, totally ripping the shit out of WAY bigger armies. Then after the battle, they all go and get a manicure, maybe coif one another's hair? I imagine two of them soaking in a mud pit afterward....

"I tell you, Menecles, I thought I was so about to perish back there, with those pointy little spears raining down like autumn mist!"
"Yes, but you know what they say about those Etruscans." *rolls eyes, waves nail file* "They're all show, but when it comes to actually poking it in, they haven't got the shaft!"
"Oh, you bitch!"
"You got that right, girlfriend."

flemco, on armies who historically allowed, nay, encouraged gay soldiers, unlike America's "don't ask don't tell" bullshit
Frog-Got Frog?

(no subject)

eleanor_lavish: For people who write about furries and men in diapers, they have NO imagination.

This was found in an entry on my friend's list in which we were discussing plot rumors for upcoming episodes of CSI Las Vegas edition. Namely, the possibility of a pairing that no one can really get behind.
  • Current Music
    Alanis Morrisette - Everything
swole bunny man

(no subject)

I would feel guilty if I let this slip by without being metaquoted, as it radiates much awesomeness. Background: pikakao’s friend Kat “was really tired and sleepy and needed to finish math, so [pikakao] made something to distract her from falling asleep.”

What follows is the epically illustrated tale of Mr. Chips, of which I will give you a small sample:


Chien: title or description
Chien: Then Mr. Chips, with much determination, made a great escape.

Chien: title or description
Chien: "OH SHIT," screamed Kat, with much larger eyebrows, "OH SHIT!"


Follow the link for the rest. Warning: Lots of pics, but they are quite small and shouldn’t kill dial-up users too badly.