Metaquotes

From a locked post by nokomis1339, with permission:

"I've heard it said that duct tape is like the force, as it has a light side, it has a dark side, and it holds the universe together. Because my desk is now being held together by pure-black electrical tape, does this mean it is in legue with satan?"

"so, you guys reading this almost lost me to a fucking tornado, but because you didn't, we lost the pope. tit for tat. god rest his soul."

sez mookrillmoo

"...every time I try to type "gym" into my away message I type "gyn" by mistake. What a whole different experience that would be." - captainpretty

as a male, I can only speculate

Thanks to a change in the schedule, ljdq quiz results are posted on Monday, new questions on Tuesday. Clearly, this scheme was hatched while drinking too much of the item in this week's theme:

5. Which evergreen berries are used as a diuretic, a food flavoring, and a key ingredient in gin?

"Mmmm, Juniper! God, I know way too much about gin. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what comes of dating a Brit for far too long. Do you know why tonic has quinine in it? It's because it's the only way the British gov't could guarantee that their military personnel stationed in India would take their anti-malarial meds during their 19th-century occupation of that country. The soldiers wouldn't take their pills, but damn if they were going to go without their gin and tonics in the jungle!"</a>

--ajmcoqui

...and knowing is half the battle.

I got a pedicure as well. The nail tech did a custom mix of about three different blues to make this metallic aqua color, and then she laid some flowers on there in various colors of pink. She then covered the whole shebang in glitter.

It looks like a very gay Easter bunny puked on my toes.

----------crevette

In a post concerning spoofed e-mail addresses and the people who respond with complaints to those addresses instead of to the people who actually have infected machines, faheud had this to say:

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The original post and entire thread can be found here. Quoted with permission.

auronsgirl, on cf_hardcore:

"If you didn't have drama on LJ, something would be terribly, terribly wrong with the world."

UPDATE: Thanks to shaysdays for pointing out I had the URL wrong. Also, I didn't realize that linking wasn't obligatory in most circumstances.

A commentary on the entertainment industry:
"The seocnd one is on the disturbing trend of any cartoon that is not aimed at the 1-12 year old range being hailed as having an "anime influence." I can appreiciate that the recent surge in popularity for anime has allowed American animators to broaden their horizons a little bit, but I swear that unless the cartoon features a super cute pink haired, bug-eyed, teenage, ninja princess catgirl who pilots a giant magical robots powered by cute and highly collectable monsters to save her average Japanese school boy true love from a sudden onslaught of transforming crossdressing alien demon idol singers, I will not allow for the tagline "anime influence."

I suppose this is where I do the traditional "first post to this community" heads-up. My theory is that we all do that in a sometimes vain effort to defend ourselves ahead of time... ;)

darkrosedragon had this to say as a comment on a friends-only post where I waxed nostalgic for my days of living in the Twin Cities and specifically performing in the Rocky Horror Picture Show cast up there (for various reasons I had to move back to my much smaller hometown):

"Take up photography silly girl!! That's one of the few things in this town to be able to be artistic with. There's so much nature that you'll never remember it unless you start taking pictures, and that's art, and that's expression w/o the gothy emo people =)"

Edit: Thanks to everyone for the icon love, it makes me feel all special inside! =P Unfortunately...whoever gave it to me apparantly didn't give me credit info. Oh well, at least I'm not claiming it as my own original work?

well, thanks! i try not to suck too often.

um....that just sounds bad.

----

-booffiegirl in a comment here after I said her poetry doesn't suck.

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A funny sign-off from ravenchanga in fanficrants:

And I'm out like gay man.

jennithepirate muses on customers, here.



"I HATE EVERYONE WHO DIDN'T TIP ME OR GAVE ME A SHITTY TIP LAST NIGHT. I
HOPE YOU ALL FIND A BIG FAT LUMP IN YOUR LEFT BUTT CHEEK AND GET ALL
SCARED THINKING IT'S A CANCER OR A TUMOR OR SOMETHING AND YOU GO TO THE
DOCTOR TO GET IT CHECKED OUT AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE SPIDER EGGS."



(I wasn't sure whether to take off the caps or not, so I left them.)

Right on schedule: crushing exhaustion, chocolate cravings, need for drink, and today--probably the day before the dam breaks--sudden bleak depression that even medication can't overcome. It helps a bit knowing it's biochemical, but I still hate the world right now. I hate people for talking loudly on the bus, for wearing unattractive clothes, for having appointments scheduled with me. I hate my hair for growing out stupidly and I hate whatever agent of fate deprived me of a generous trust fund.

Things need killing!

pensivegargoyle, here:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/pensivegargoyle/96871.html

From a post by starbringer59 in customers_suck:

The dog's feelings won't be hurt because you turned it off. It's a fucking robot.

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This entry from wych highly amused me.....

enchantedfey and I were talking about religion and some of the things that don't make sense to us about Christianity. Well we ended up talking about having to be the mother of the Antichrist and that problems that would present in real life and how would you discipline such an important figure?

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Ordinarily, I'd put a bunch of them together...so I'm not all spammy... but I love this too much to put it with my lamer metaquote.

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emberwolfe explains the excitement of her Saturday night"

"This weekend I bought a new TV that has more than just an RF connector. Bully for me. My old TV (emphasis on OLD) needed an RF adapter for me to plug anything into it. It sucked and a lot of the screen was losing pixels. It was about damn time for a new one. This one is 8 inches bigger than my last one. I'd dearly love to say that about a boyfriend someday...."

I made an entry about tired confusion of what The Cardinals had to do with the Pope. To which my cousin responded anonymously....

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From here:

channonyarrow: Yeah, I always think "Ooh! That needs a metaquote!" And then no one does it, because none of them read metaquotes. It makes me sad, and then I wonder why I put the effort into LJ if I don't get my fifteen pixels of fame, and THEN I start drinking again, and THEN I wake up naked in a ritzy part of town, wondering why there's a goat there.

eimran: 'S 'cause so many people have an LJ... FRANK SEES ALL.

channonyarrow: ...and then eats your toes? I think I'm going with this vision of "Frank's Angels," who are scantily-clad nanny goats who fight crime and save LJers from foolish, foolish things. They don't know what Frank looks like, but they know his bleat.

eimran: His saucy, saucy bleat. Though, Frank's Angels aren't doing such a good job. Then again, perhaps they need to keep LJers doing foolish, foolish things. After all, without foolishness or drama, what the fuck would we all write about?

nekoama Posted here about...a metaquote.

"But I'm posting my song here for my own amusement.

First I was afraid - I was pretrified.
The so-called quote was so lame I could've died.
But I spent about a minute, thinking how I could do it wrong
And I grew strong
And I dragged this thread along...( Collapse )

YAY.

nihilicious says:

I'm getting a glimpse of the clusterfuck of media coverage coming out of Rome. CBS wanted to continue covering the mass for the Pope, but also to show a live feed from the White House, where Yuschenko is visiting Bush. So they did it by split screen.

The effect was the President giving a speech about the introduction of free market capitalism to Ukraine, over the sound of Latin chanting. Needless to say, it was bizarre and sublime.

Current Music: Tantum Ergo Sacramentum (free market capitalism re-mix)

From alexmarokov, in a F-locked post, with permission.

Went to a party last night. Woke up this morning, opened my backpack, and found eight (unopened) cans of Bud Light and a mostly-full bottle of bourbon.

I distinctly remember not even opening my backpack last night.

This can only be attributed to a miraculous visit from the Beer Fairy.

My friend rin_kali loves her dog, but...

It has finally happened. My dumbass dog has finally out-skunked the skunk. I was walking the dog just now (it’s like. . .9:30) and I saw him chasing what looked like a black cat that didn’t seem to be in too big a hurry to get away from him. Turned out is was a skunk. That’s when I started to smell skunk. Now this dog has been skunked no less than ten times in the last two years by this same skunk, so I groaned and started smelling all over the dog to see where the skunk stink was. But there wasn’t a drop on him. Not one. Apparently this skunk has given up trying, because the idiot just keeps coming back for more. Not even a skunk is going to bother wasting stink on this stupid dog. How sad is that?!

As warm weather returns, creednick bemoans the return of life to nature's creepy, crawly bounty.

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The ever-wonderful (and oft-quoted) crevette has this to say about Orlando Bloom's popularity with slashers:

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In this thread in kittypix by eighthcloud, wholedamnturkey says, quite randomly:

"I do not know if you are aware of this, but your cat appears to be made completely out of teddy bears."

And I giggled. So here we are.