April 2nd, 2005

Anne-Julie - dreaming


From a locked post by penguinkraft, by permission:

On days like this, I find myself asking... myself, "What would Alexander III do?"

Clearly, he would destroy the infidels who stole our shower curtains and then commission art about it. I think that we could all learn from his example.

piss off
  • lto

(no subject)

kag_obes's response to brusselsprouts post on how long it took Bush to respond to the Red Lake shootings:

Well, first he had to figure out how to spell Minnesota. Then, he had to find a globe to make sure Minnesota wasn't a terrorist nation or something. THEN he needed to find Minnesota on the map. Once he found Minnesota, two days later, it took him another two days to find Red Lake, which is the largest lake entirely contained in Minnesota. He'd been snorting a lot of blow to stay awake for this project, so he chugged a few beers and drove to McDonald's because he finally had the munchies. Upon waking up the next morning finding he'd passed out face-down into his Big Mac, he wiped the special sauce off his face and made his stupid statement.
Film - The Shining

(no subject)

From la_belle_ange's "Gerry Butler: An Owner's Guide," referring to Phantom!Gerry:

Edition VII GERRY - Often called a "madman" or a "murderer," the Edition VII GERRY is merely misunderstood. He would never harm you, only those who tried to hurt you; therefore, he would make a very good bodyguard. Obsessed with music, he can sing you to sleep at night or play the piano or violin. He is also a very skilled carpenter, dollmaker, and composer. Before activating your Edition VII GERRY, make sure there are no CHRISTINE or RAOUL units around. If your unit is exposed to the former, you will lose him forever, while if he sees the latter, he will fly into a rage and stop at nothing until the RAOUL unit is dead. Moreover, never try to remove the Edition VII GERRY's mask, unless you want him to lock you up and never let you go... which might not be such a bad thing.

You've really got to read whole damn thing to get it; I assure you it's worth it. :D
random hornblower art...

(no subject)

flail discusses Eljah Wood's performance in Sin City:

"Quite frankly, his part in the movie was fucking creepy. mostly because he already looks like he could be a psycho...with those big eyes of his. and that smile. i always knew Frodo couldn't handle the pressure."
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    amused amused
Top Model - Ms J

Jesus was black. Why not the pope?

thatfatboy has a dream in this post about the pope.

My dream is to have the Pope come back from the dead in three days... but with the soul of sassy black lady... maybe one of those girls from an abhorant UPN show will die today, and when she gets to heaven there will be a mixup and she is sent back to earth, and ends up inhabiting the Pope's body. Hilarity insues.

Could you imagine?

Perhaps there will be a point where the Pope could have a montage where he is shopping to the Prince song Pope.

*As the Pope is being showered in attention* "You can be the president, I rather be the pope"

See, these are the types of ideas that Fox is made of.
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    amused amused

(no subject)

In this post, cowboyloverxxl recounts a conversation she had:

Curt: So Matt Skiba or Aragorn?
Kerry: For what, like to defend my honor or just to make out a little?
Curt: Make out.
Kerry: Well i'd have to go with the heroin addict rock star then.
Curt: Aragorn not hot enough for you?
Kerry: It's not that, it's the whole "make out" thing. Aragorn seems like an "all or nothing" kind of guy.
Curt: Yeah you know he's all about bearing successors.
Kerry: F'real. I don't think they had the "base" system in Middle Earth. It was like homerun derby--out of the park or it didn't count at all.

Check out the entry from March 25th as well, in which she recounts a day in the life of the Easter Bunny
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    amused amused
orphan black - sarah

(no subject)

treetopbabe takes on out-of-character fanfic pairings:

"Professor Dumbledore," Hermione asked, scuffing her foot shyly against the carpet.


"Do you want to do something completely inappropriate that neither of us would ever approve of/agree to?"

"Certainly. My office or the Room of Requirement?"

"The Room of Requirement would be better, after all, you've got that thing for bondage gear and we won't need to waste magic summoning up supplies."

"You really are the brightest student in your year, aren't you?"

I highly recommend reading the rest of them--the last one especially is brilliant.
drunk, ded, shot
  • bashou

Talking Self-scans

Comments from a post in bad_service regarding the self-scan lanes at the supermarkets:

What's really embarassing is that the U-Scam at some stores has a loud computerized voice that announces each item as you're scanning it, along with the price. Some use the brand name of the item, and some use the name of the item itself. That's fine, right?

(swipe) ORANGE JUICE... PRICE... 1.99
(swipe) APPLES... WEIGHT... TWO POUNDS... PRICE... 2.39
(swipe) FRENCH FRIES... PRICE... 3.49

Until you get to:

(swipe) TAMPONS... PRICE... 7.89
(swipe) VAGISIL... PRICE... 3.89

(swipe) Condoms, 12-pack -- price, $6
(swipe) Crisco -- price, $4.50
(swipe) Latex gloves, 24-pack -- price, $7
(swipe) Cat food, six-pack -- price, $3
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    amused amused
Abby (by pekeana)

(no subject)

"Super Bitch of the West has the power to throw shoes at people's heads with stunning accuracy. She growls more often than a junkyard dog, and is more catty than happy hour at a gay bar.

"Pathetic Migraine and Cramp Girl, on the other hand, has the amazing ability to whine at a pitch and volume heretofore unachieved by human beings."

--j_guda's superpowers, in a reply to this post.