March 29th, 2005


What? All the cool kids are posting metaquotes about it!

I think a corollary of being able to refuse medical treatment is being able to demand that the hospital keep you on life support until your body gives out. The New York Times tells us that doctors are increasingly disagreeing, and will only do so when sued in states that don't give hospitals specific direction on the matter. Evidently living wills that ask to be sustained don't count for much, either; the only way to go, then, is to have a "living ninja contract" that, in case the hospital wants to kill you, has the families of the doctors and the ethics committee involved assassinated by ninjas.

"Ms. Amsterdam, I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do-"
"Bob, no! The old guy's got the trigrams tattooed on his wrist!"
"Um, right. Well, Ms. Amsterdam, there's always hope." (under breath) "Damn those ninjas."

-- akhmed
perfect, laugh

Nerd+Food=spontaneous combustion?

Eggie and her friend get absurdly (ABSURD I say!) creative with dishes for a restaurant themed around literature. Comedy ensues.

pirate_eggie: i also spent half an hour coming up with dishes for a hypothetical literary-classics based restaurant
eggiechan: because i don't have anything better to do
eggiechan: the invisible mannicotti
eggiechan: the old man and the sushi
eggiechan: slaughterhouse fries
eggiechan: i'm partial to the lion, the witch and the cheeseboard
eggiechan: but grant says it's stupid

More here, including in the comments
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
B&W Splash

(no subject)

From this post, by dogbreathcanada (QWP):

Andrea just informed me that she used to belong to a union called PSAC (Public Service something or other). She then informed me that that gave her "endless mirth".

Endless mirth. I think that's the first time I've ever heard that phrase used verbally. Hearing her say it gave me momentary mirth. :)

(no subject)

A little background (from my journal):

A friend and I went to church and had to leave early. Said friend isn't Catholic and so he was just going to follow me forward to communion and then follow me right out without taking communion. I found out afterwards, however, that the woman giving out the host had smiled and him and made him feel so uncomfortable that he took communion anyway. But this was not in the Catholic sense! He took the host...and put it in his pocket.

In response to this, byrlakin says:

It was the turning point in his career, but he did not know it. He put the wafer in his pocket, almost without thinking; certainly it did not seem of particular use at the moment.

- - - - -

"What have I got in my pocket?"

"String, or nothing!"

"Both wrong," cried Bilbo very much relieved; and he jumped at once to his feet and put his back to the nearest wall, and held out his little sword. Now that Bilbo had his own Personal Jesus, he was loathe to give it up again. Yes, it was his Jesusssss now.
  • Current Mood

(no subject)

br0k3nsoul writes about writing about cannibalism:

"Cannibals almost always act out of a desire to possess--or, more accurately, consume--another human being. This is based off of a sexual attraction virtually everytime. If the cannibal is heterosexual, all of his victims will be female. If he is homosexual, all of his victims will be male. If he is bisexual, then we're all screwed."
  • Current Music
    Soul Coughing - Moon Sammy
  • sigma7

Anyone else picture Comic Book Guy?

From tviokh, here:

I love poor wording on headlines.
The front page of MSNBC has "Man critical after being dragged by vehicle."

The first thing that came to mind was that he was complaining about the dragging itself.

"Well, the vehicle had a poor paint job and there was a lot of rust; very tacky. Their choice of road surface left much to be desired, and this particular road smelled just terrible. The rope that they used was appallingly cheap and low class, and to top it off the speed at which they chose to drive was beyond sub-par. Overall: Worst. Dragging. Ever."

My brain, of course, translated the poorly worded headline into, "Man in critical condition after being dragged by a vehicle."
  • Current Music
    Massive Attack - Mezzanine
the original prince of snarkness


more music formatting from squirrel__boy, here,
in a comment to qwantz's new music format here


function turnOffLights(obj I)
end function

const theBest;

//****************** M A I N *********************/


With Ice
.previous += new invention();
if (now() <> '00:00:00 AM') then
.flow = 'harpoon'
end if
end with

:sys.response "Unable to determine WITH block termination"


for Now() to Extreme()
if rock(mic) LIKE '%vandal%'
wax(NEW chump AS @candle);
bumRush('SELECT speaker FROM dbo.speakers WHERE sound = lCase("Boom")');
while ( == dope)
for each thing in anything do
if thing < theBest
thing.status = felony;

while (sys.loveIt() or sys.leaveIT())
until ( == bullseye)
if kid.action != play

while myDJ.revolve(it)
invoke YO_VIP;
I am unreasonable


blinxfx gets into a discussion with a cat:

I was walking home and i saw a cat i wanted to touch so i meowed at it.

It meowed back.

This went on for a good 3 or 4 minutes which is a long fucking time to meow at anything.

I tried to slowly touch it and it jumped back.

It followed me home meowing.

We got in a meowing fight. I won.

Just remember this, cat. At the end of the day I can go in my house and close the door while you are still outside meowing trying to hammer your point home.

Jeremy 1 Cat 0
just breathe

Ping! Ping! PIIIING!

ingole went to a Sarah McLachlan concert and had this to say about it:

I'm pretty sure every lesbian (and Canadian) in Queensland was at the Brisbane Convention Centre last night. I have to say, I'm glad that gaydar isn't a physical instrument that emits noise, or we wouldn't have been able to hear the concert for the beeping.

"This is your captain speaking. Please remember to turn off your radios, phones and gaydars before takeoff, as they interfere with our electrical equipment."
teeny little super guy

(no subject)

Sorry to post again so soon but hopefully nicole_anell's music format makes up for it.

To-Do List:
-face the final curtain
-say it clear
-state my case

Partial list of lifetime acheivements:
-lived a life that's full
-traveled each and every highway
-did what I had to do
-saw it through without exemption
-planned each charted course/careful step
-bit off more than I could chew
-ate it up
-spit it out
-faced it all
-stood tall
-loved, laughed, and cried
-had my fill, my share of losing
-did all that
-took the blows (see record)

Method in which I did all of this:
-my way

Regrets worth mentioning:
-a few
-actually, none

found somewhere within the comments here.
ass for his elbow

(no subject)

Quoth felis_ultharus:

The Ten Worst ways to get to Concordia's English Department (fourth floor, Library Building, inaccessible by stairs) are:

  1. Attach suction cups to your hands and feet and scale the outside wall
  2. Tie sheets together and have someone on the inside tie them to something secure
  3. Teleport
  4. Helicopter airlift
  5. Being shot out of a cannon
  6. Jetpack
  7. Really big-ass trampoline
  8. In a sleigh drawn by giant flies
  9. Solely by the power of positive thinking

And the absolute worst way to get to the 4th floor is:

  1. By the elevator

(no subject)

From a Fandom_Wank entry about good ol' Jeffery Wong. Once again he is being wanky, and people cry hoax and mourne over his badly-designed website color scheme. Skarrow says this about the clashing colors:

Skarrow: If you scroll up and down through it very fast, it's like tripping on something recreational.

Phosphate: You mean like stumbling over a bicycle?

Can be read in it's entirety here:
  • Current Music
    Escape Key - The Girl That's Never Been
Um heheheh

Crocheters get bitchy:

Commenting on sharmelon's post that originally had a link to the (copyrighted) crochet pattern:

croshay: scanning that book and posting it is in violation of copyright, just so you know.
sharmelon: sorry but it wasn't me that scanned it.
croshay: edit the post and lose the link. its the right thing to do.
xstrawberrypiex: uh ohhh!! its the copyright police! :P
croshay: uh ohhh the self righteous thieves rep-re-sent!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

Caution: Loose Virginity

Discussing the misuse of "lose" and "loose" in fanfic:

At this time of night, a phrase about someone wanting to "loose" their virginity brings to mind images of chastity run rampant, padlocks and little "do not enter" signs popping up everywhere.

In a reply, from HERE.
  • eimran

Things That Go Boom

From my wonderful best friend at school, robedestroyer:

I was still groggy after waking up for my 8 o'clock calc class and I decided that I should go to the bathroom. I walked down the hall and entered the lavatory and noticed water on the floor by two of the three urinals. I decided that the dry one must be okay to use and so I did my business. As I walked away from it and it started to flush, I was surprised to see water gushing from above the urinal and spraying the sink and mirror and paper towel dispenser. I was a little shocked by all of this and so I just kinda watched it. I think I got a little wet from the splash back. When the water shot me in the face, I could feel myself begin to change into something drastically more powerful than I could have ever imagined myself becoming. And that is the story of how I gained the ability to explode urinals.
  • Current Music
    Orestes --A Perfect Circle
singular love affair


Today in my Shakespeare class the teacher introduced the new quarter by talking about the Renaissance as the context for the birth of commercial theater in general, and Shakespeare's work in particular. This is fine. In fact, it was a good introduction. The problem was that he kept talking about countries "having a Renaissance," and this kept making me think about sex, and specifically about orgasms. This is probably because I am a dirty, dirty girl and it turns out that quite a lot of things make me think about sex, but when I wrote a semi-surreptitious note to newredshoes (who, after most of three years, is suddenly in not one, but TWO of my classes!) she seemed to get what I was talking about. So then at least when he kept saying it she smirked with me as the teacher said things like "when you're having a Renaissance, you know you're having a Renaissance" and I thought about things like:

England: Oh! Oh! I'm having a Renaissance!
Italy, France, Spain, etc: About fucking time. We had ours years ago!

~suddenleap rocks the first day of spring quarter
  • Current Music
    "If 6 Was 9," Jimi Hendrix