March 28th, 2005

nefretiri

(no subject)

From a post about food by jawsoflife - really, just go read it. He's the smartest snarker I've ever met.


Mayonnaise
Let's get one thing straight here: mayonnaise is f***ing gross. Mayonnaise is like your fat roommate who never washes his socks and farts loudly not because he has to, but because he actually likes to. Mayonnaise probably laughs really loudly at any movie scene involving the consumption and/or wearing of semen, excrement, urine or chicken fat. That said, the sick bastard can really make or break a sandwich.
Wolf 2

(no subject)

The entry doesn't tell what the movie was, but this is what </a></b></a>beetlebomb thought of it:

At least I was actually able to sleep last night. I'm still pretty traumatized from that horrible movie. Imagine if I were a film critic. My review would probably go something like this:

"An excruciating trainwreck of a movie. I found absolutely everything about this film annoying. Trying to sit through this film was cruel and unusual punishment. I found it so painful I just had to get up and leave before it was even finished. I give it a NEGATIVE five out of five, never mind a zero. Four hairy thumbs DOWN in a steaming cesspool of vomit!" (Siskel and Eberts eat your heart out!)
it&#39;s not a bug. it&#39;s a feature, computer geek
  • gisho

Meta-meta!

From captainsblog, here:


Not sure it would work.

I'm picturing the headless body dancing around going, "Have at you!"

"But I've lopped your head off!"

"No you haven't."

"You idiot you have no brain function whatsoever!"

"'Tis but a scratch!"
iCas

Supersizing

From a locked post from inviere. Quoted with permission:

I just read this:

"So is Britney Spears piling on the pounds in a bout of comfort eating? She recently told Allure magazine: 'After I got married, I was one of those people who let themselves go a little bit. I was just lounging around and eating.' Friends of the couple say Brit's trying to lose weight, but Kevin's not making it easy. 'Do you want to supersize that?' he laughs, and pats her butt when she's ordering food."


If my husband ever, ever did that to me, I'd turn around, grab the front of his pants and say -

"No, I want to supersize this."
  • Current Music
    Love Rain - Jill Scott
Kushiel&#39;s Legacy: Rainbow Love.

Yet another Easter quote

From angstslashhope, quoted from a locked entry with permission:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

it's daylight saving? why didn't anyone TELL ME? i can't believe i got up before 7am on easter sunday JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD. wait... don't answer that. you've got enough to do today, old buddy.





Very quickly edited to add: It's okay, Americans who just got very puzzled, we're in Australia, so we have the changeover a week before you guys. Sorry to confuse people.
  • Current Music
    Crowded House -- 'Better Be Home Soon'
fanficcers

(no subject)

From a locked post by osiris_06, quoted with permission (relating to having finished her history homework):

If anyone mentions the Depression or the New Deal again, I'm gonna scream. Oy vey. Although the book refered to the Southern Tenant Farmers Union as the STFU, which made me laugh for a while.
penny arcade jesus throws the horns

tow-truck angels

Taken from this post, agentsteel53's riveting account of navigating the Sierra Nevada during an Easter snowstorm:

"Where are you towing me to?"
"Truckee. The highway patrol wants all the cars off the road."
"How much will that be?"
"Two-seventy. That's an estimate, mind you, it could be as much as three-sixty."
"I suppose I don't have much choice."
"Nope, CHP is God, and I'm the angel. Happy Easter!"

Atlantis invades America!!

Attention multiverse fans and Marvelverse people: Atlantis invades America!

On sages_of_chaos, which is going to kill me laughing, today we have Deadpool warring with Sue Storm (of the Fantastic Four) in this post, where nasty insinuations are made about the Invisible Woman's marital fidelity.

Jonah Jameson chimes in with a front page spread on the Daily Bugle, which results in Atlantis declaring war on America.

Meanwhile, on the Punisher front, Frank Castle has a heart to heart with Jean Grey about her daughter's wardrobe, and then it becomes clear that yes, people, the Punisher does indeed drive a Subaru.

Jean Grey "flaming prettily" as the Phoenix ruined my monitor with too much coffee.

Enjoy.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
oh holy shit
  • chaya

re: some standard nazi-flames

"...I would defend myself from this heinous series of accusations, but really, what can I say? I probably am a Nazi. I like shiny boots and clean, crisp uniforms. And when it comes to people who write self-injury fanfic, tolerance is definitely an over-rated quality.

Besides, ... being viewed as a well-dressed fascist does have its upside from time to time. I mean, did anyone ever had a sexual fantasy about being tied up and rogered by someone dressed as an open-minded Evanescence fan?"

-bites_the_sun, here.
  • Current Music
    Tricky
R+J purple kiss

(no subject)

From the beautiful satirical joy that is republiteen:

I am such a dork, I went to the bathroom and cried for so long I forgot I had to turn in my paper on the connection between condoms and Satanists for my Abstinence Only class. Love is so hard, you guys. :*(


Maybe not the best example, but it's difficult to take out of context.. The whole thing is simply genius, though. Collapse )

The geniousity.. It's so beautiful....
soprano

Body Image Smackdown!

From kerrypolka, with permission:

"I need a goal again. In February I was working vaguely toward the Big Local Event, so I could grit my teeth and be all lose-weighty. But now the only real reason I want to drop it is vanity. Also, when my stomach hangs over my jeans it makes my boobs look smaller. I don't think they can handle the competition."

(no subject)

"I'm thinking of having a living will drawn up. It will tell my family that if I ever fall into a persistent vegetative state, they should call majority leader Tom Delay and ask what he thinks should happen. Then they should do the opposite."

-spacefem