March 24th, 2005

stargate concussion
  • kitt

Gotta love those All Your Base referances...

The vgc feed accidently spammed our flists with the same entry posted ten or so times, for no apperant reason. On the last entry of spammness, rocketonaplanet commented:

IN AD 2005, WAR WAS BEGINNING.

lj_captain: What happen?
lj_user2: somebody set us up the feed.
lj_client: we get signal!
lj_captain: what!
lj_client: main screen turn on!

[on go screen. we see Daffy, courtesy of lj_feed]

lj_captain: it's you!
lj_feed: how are you gentlemen! all your [friends] page are belong to us. you are on the way to destruction!
lj_captain: what you say!
lj_feed: you have no chance to view other's entries make your time. HA HA HA HA.
lj_client: lj_captain!
lj_captain: take off every friends_filter! you know what you doing. move friends_filter... for great justice!


the craziness can be found here
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
alanafish

(no subject)

newskink realises she's been lied to.

'I took my new toy for a 5km walk today. Half a block from home and my foot has sharp pains in it. I have no injury so I gave it a bit further to see if it would clear up. It did. My foot was faking it to get out of doing the exercise. I can’t believe my body lies to me. What else has it fibbed about? Those fun times with myself… were they lies too. Did it fake my orgasms? I feel so cheap and used.'
phoenix ezzicons/xiggy
  • conuly

Taken from a comment in pottersues

It's a joke fanficline, not serious.

"You see, Fred, Daphne, Shaggy and Scooby," Dumbledore intoned gravely, "Princess Velma Francesca Krystallinia O'Malley of Ireland-- Velma to you muggle youngsters-- is the last in a line of pure-blood wizards. She must marry Draco Malfoy in order to do some undercover work for the Order of the Phoenix, and to melt his cold, cold heart."

Shaggy's bloodshot eyes grew wide as the full moon. The difference in his eyes was very noticeable now-- one was stormy charcoal gray, and one gleamed silver, just like aluminum foil-- as he exclaimed, "Wow, man!"


The rest of it is also worth reading.

Edit: Sorry, got another one.Collapse )
cookie

(no subject)

In this post, hollsh decides to write unsent letters to random annoyances throughout the day. All of them are funny, but I find this first one outstanding.

Dear Girl on Bus,

Although your skin is quite pale, as shown on your ears and neck, the foundation and powder you put on your face is medium to dark brown. You do not look sexy, you look like an Ewok. I almost bit a hole through my lip trying not to laugh.

Bleeding from the eyes and lip,
Holls
Sated

(no subject)

kalelth doesn't understand his co-worker...

"The one about the surgery consultation has me a bit confused though. I'm not quite sure why you would need to plan a surgery that includes a proctologist, an industrial exterminator, and Steve Irwin but that is your business, I suppose."
snacky purple
  • snacky

Don't forget about Hootie!

loveanddarkness is not pleased with the new Burger King commercial:

I normally try to be a nonviolent person but I am willing to make a big exception for the person or persons who created the "Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch" television advertisement for Burger King.

It's like David Lynch did a demented sex thing with Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, while Dolly Parton spanked them all with uncooked strips of bacon.

So, I have this instructor

And I posted a rant about him in a locked post recently. I'm quoting from my own post to give context for the comment, which is what I'm actually metaquoting.

In response to me saying: "The teacher is pathologically extroverted and pathologically think-positive. I also don't like the teacher's attitude towards people with disabilities or people who are fat. He's very much in the "willpower-cures-all" camp."

leora returned: Apparently for him, willpower cures all except being a naive asshole.
  • Current Music
    Julia Ecklar - Crane Dance
Silly Walks by DramaGirl42

Brainy boys are the best.

adamselzer has been feeling a bit under the weather lately and had this to say:

"When reading Kipling's poetry, I can never quite help picturing him as the gym teacher who shoots you in the knees, tells you to "walk it off," and thinks he's doing you a favor by giving you a chance to prove that you're a man."
  • Current Music
    "TV Eye" - Wilde Ratz

Anyone? Bueller?

elsewhere7 explains what's wrong with Sarah Jessica Parker's husband in this thread.

Matthew Broderick is somewhere in his early 40s. Looking at him, you just KNOW that in some attic there's a painting of Ferris Bueller that looks as old as the actor who played Cameron does now.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Misc - Three Sisters

high speed stealth baby

doocefeed is just so quotable. here's a short snippet.

I know you’re shaking your head going, how do you lose a baby? In your own house? Actually, the process is very similar to losing your mind. You just look away for one moment AND IT’S GONE.

the whole post, concerning leta's sneaky antics can be found here.

(no subject)

From attack_bunny, here.

You know, I don't think the ear-burning is a symptom of an ear infection at all. I think it's sunburn.
See, if I sit at the computer for long periods of time on a sunny day, then due to the middle blind being kaputt all the sunlight comes through the little windows in the back door and right onto my right ear. So just to test the theory in a good scientific manner I've put a towel on my head. Stop laughing in the back there.
Russ and Tommy

From sparklebutch

Originally posted here.

chaoteeth: *slaps you with a wombat-shaped trout*

skaterboyslash: was it mutated by radiation?

chaoteeth: batman made it. he wanted a bat-shaped trout, but read the instruction wrong.

skaterboyslash: LOL

chaoteeth: serves him right. you can't do genetic engineering and have your cock sucked by nightwing at the same time, idiot

skaterboyslash: of course.
light side

Mmm, Ranty

Over in techsupport, the_paco has been ranting some more since he last graced this space.

In a rant on hold music he waxes on regarding the injustice of the universe, or at least the legal system:

"Meantime, while they're soothed by the sweet sounds of a clarinet being violated and made into the naughty little bitch that it is, I'm stuck with the thought running through my head that if I were to find these idiot customers, perky people, executives, Yanni, and riddle their soft bodies with hot-loaded .50 caliber hollowpoint rounds, I would go to jail."

Meanwhile, in a two tiered rant on virus victims and general stupidity, he sums up nicely why Hell Desk jobs are painful:

"...75% of my customers are on the mental level of reasonably intelligent and yet very stoned chimpanzees."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Gibbs

time to storm the streets!

taken from noisetank with permission from a locked post....

i hereby announce the formation of [the boogie police]. saddoes and uptight muthafuckerz beware, we WILL make your body shake like you got bionic epilepsy, dig? we decree that any horizontal surface is a dance floor for you to jump-up and hit the ground movin'. every time you walk, it will be a strut. THIS IS NOT A REQUEST. if you conitnue to ingore these reasonable demands, we will infiltrate your hips with disco glitter and boogaloo bullets.

you will dance.
you WILL dance.
you will dance, sucka.

we have ways to make you subit. 2600 calibre bop guns, soul fire and pop'n'lockdowns. dance.


 

  • Current Mood
    amused amused
B&W Splash

(no subject)

In this post, rileylj says:

I was bored at work today and felt I needed to do something to occupy my time. I looked into my bag for something entertaining, and I found an empty marble notebook. I opened it up, and with one deep breath, wrote as much as I could. It felt so good pouring out all of my emotions.

Thank god I have an outlet to express myself now.


QWP