March 15th, 2005

silverhill

(no subject)

At fanficrants, someone asks why authors will have straight characters "go gay" for another character, but get really pissed off at the idea that a gay character could become straight for another character.

And kuchenhexe has this to say:
Because it's not "politically correct". Because the homsexual lifestyle is under fire, and we all know how fanfic can set the stage for a political revolt. If such a bit of fanfiction would ever be released on ff.net, it would set gay rights back a thousand years.

Because we all know that treating homosexuality like a favorite toy and homosexual individuals as mere eyecandy which exists for one's viewing pleasure and whims is a good way to show how enlightened one is and how much they support gay rights.

After all, sexual orientation is either evil (het), slutty (bi), or all about the true love of male buttsex and boy eyecandy when it comes to fanfiction. Just remember, turning a gay man straight for the purpose of a story will ensure God kills a kitten gay marriage is banned. Or something.
Angry

Martial Arts as Fast Food

In a conversation pertaining to the validity of some of the 'newer' styles of martial arts in kung_fu, stormsigma makes a wonderful point about doing research when looking for a teacher to train with.

Martial arts is like any other commodity. Finding the worthwhile training is hard in a sea of McDojos* and Karate King* places.

The idea being, of course, that there are a lot of frauds out there who'll gladly fleece you out of your money to learn an 'art' they made up on the back of a bar napkin one night they'd been drinking.
merchgirl

(no subject)

from glittersavvy:

I just looked at my computer clock and, for some reason, it said 9:23.

Sam: WTF?
Wall Clock: That's 5:23, you dumbass. Or, 17:23 if you prefer 24 hours.
Sam: Yeah, I KNOW it's 5:23, because otherwise that would mean I just blacked out or Bill Gates just stole a big chunk of my day, or, both...
Wall Clock: Actually it's 5:24 now.
Sam: Ooh, check you.
Wall Clock: Yeah, that *is* the general point with clocks.
Sam: Or maybe you're lying to me. How do I know it's NOT 9:23?
Wall Clock: 24.
Sam: Whatever. How do I know it's not twelve minutes past two? Or nine minutes to seven? It could be, and all the clocks around here could have been fixed to make me *think* it's 5:24 in a conspiratorial bid to hack away at my remaining piece of sanity until it splinters into tiny little bits all over the wall, thus leaving me free for brainwash, and then I will be one less individual for the number-crunchers to deal with.
Wall Clock: Get out of the house, you fucktardian loser.
Art - Fini - Dimanche

Inner Beauty

Comment by leora in dot_poly_snark:
Don't go looking for inner beauty. They keep talking about it, but when you try to find it, you'll realize it's all blood, organs, and disgusting squishy bits. Inner beauty is overrated and should stay inside.

I admit, I'm extrapolating from frogs, but I think humans are reasonably similar.
Original post: http://www.livejournal.com/community/dot_poly_snark/154846.html

The original poster's comment about someone "violating the laws of English grammar and punctuation with a sparkly pink strap-on" was pretty choice too...
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
shannon.

Grossy-Man!

From a locked post by godonthewater, with permission.

My kid just called me Grossy-Man. :O

I attempted to explain to this two-year-old girl that I was neither "Grossy" nor a "Man" by saying "No, I think YOU are Grossy-Man!", but she just laughed.

(Is there really any way to prevent "Grossy-Man" becoming the next world-famous supervillain?)




ETA: My icon is apparently more lvoed than my meta. Whatever works. ;)
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
moon

3stripesbrand investigates the relative coolness of ninjas and pirates!

P=Coolness of Pirate=10
N=Coolness of Ninja=10
C=Overall coolness
PN=Pirate Ninja

C(PN)=f(10^10)*(10/10)

Simplified, C(PN)=f(10,000,000,000)*1

So, on a scale of -10 to 10, ninja pirates would have a coolness of about ten billion.

So cool, in fact, your head would explode.


The original post is locked, so I will reproduce it here in its giggleworthy entirity. Long, but so so worth it;

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  • Current Music
    Orgy - Slept So Long
dom rain

bus driver conspiracy

from oh_mumble here:

When I was little, the newspapers seemed to be full of stories about people being hit by buses and dragged underneath the wheels. You don't hear about these things anymore, and I figure that's for one of two reasons. Either the bus drivers are getting better at their jobs, or they're getting really, really good at covering things up.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
soprano

(no subject)

bohemianeditor mentions a neighborhood disturbance:

"I don't know what the construction people are doing next door and I'm sure it's Very Important, but it sounds like two robots having sex.

*thumpthump-CLANG! thumpthump-CLANG!*

If I hear a metallic voice saying "oh yes baby yes that is my shit" I'm going to have to call the company. "
  • Current Mood
    hungry hungry
Lulu

Some pretty good news for once

Courtesy of eatlotsoffruits , who is disturbed by the prevalence of bad news in the world. From here :

"This just in. Jamie had an all right day. He was quoted as saying, 'It wasn't the best day I've ever had, but all in all it was pretty good.' This goes against the overwhelming trend of death, poor economy, and endless crimes against America's youth. 'I'm not happy about the starving millions across the earth,' he said, 'but I woke up feeling rested, got a fair amount of work done, had some good chats with my coworkers, and had a pretty decent session at the gym. And in my little world, that all comes out to a not-so-bad day.'"
Roman Griffin from the Boston MFA

Meta-meta!

In the comments to this post: http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/2728056.html

I questioned whether or not The Haunting had a plot, and The OP, issendai, said:

First there are a bunch of dank dim ordinary rooms, then there are a bunch of outdoors shots, then a series of beautiful ornate rooms. Then the rooms start to eat people. It's all very, you know, cosmic and Nietschean, like The Cube but with stunning throw pillows.
misc: Peace

(no subject)

jmchocolategirl in response to this link in my LJ (And, still, not work safe)

Note to self:

When it says "not work safe" and you're in the grandmothers house, and the mother is standing very close to you, MAKE SURE IT REGISTERS BEFORE YOU CLICK! BECAUSE THAT WAS ALMOST VERY BAD!

Me, a few minutes ago:
*innocently clicks link, warning DOES NOT REGISTER*
*sees pic*
*realization hits*
*OMG MY MOTHER IS RIGHT BEHIND ME*
*FRANTICALLY CLICKS BACK*
-computer is slow-
*clicks back fifty-five thousand times*
-computer goes out to lunch-
*tries to tap into force to make it go faster*
-computer laughs at me-
*plot to take a really strong magnet and erase the entire hard drive*
-finally it goes back to your homepage-
*tries not to pant from tension*
*mother turns around*
*Mum looks at computer screen intently*
*tries VERY HARD to look innocent*
Mum: Whatcha doin?
Me: Um..well, you know..just...stuff...
*Mum continues to look at computer*
*continues to try to look innocent* *tries not to hyperventilate*
*Mum wonders into the living room*
*dies*