March 13th, 2005

Bert and Ernie Two Daddies

(no subject)

A comment response in a post in tmi_chix about why the investigators on CSI never assume blood on sheets and towels to be menstrual blood:

lol That'd be funny.

Grissom: She bled out everywhere, but it's not consistent with the position of the body.
Sara: Uh, Grissom..
Grissom: Hm?
Sara: Nevermind. I'll have Doc Robbins explain it to you?
Grissom: ..Explain what?
Catherine: Female biology. Broaden your horizons, Gil.
basically I rule

(no subject)

In this thread about an English teacher who thinks "said is dead" and provided a very long (and bad) list of alternatives, muggleangel said:

There are 'power verbs,' which make a story a bit more exciting and descriptive, and then there are 'dominatrix verbs,' which whip a story over and spank it repeatedly.

Mock the Stupid Customers Who, well, you know....

Sorry this took so long but I couldn't decide which community deserved it. The always delightful thunderemerald, accompanied by co-worker Sam, fishing for customers at the shallow end of the gene pool the other day:

Sam: What movie are you going to see? *looks at the kid* Robots?
Woman: No, no, I hate those FAKE movies! I'd never see anything like that.
Sam: What are you seeing, then?
Woman: The Pacifier.
Me: *blink*
Sam: Oh. Yes. I heard that was a documentary.
Me: *sporfle*
Woman: Huh?
Sam: Never mind. Anyway, did you know Vin Diesel's gay?
Woman: Wait, WHAT?

It continues, oh so beautifully, here.

(no subject)

ingridmatthews, attended the baby shower from Hell:

I find the bathroom, close the door, turn on the light and ... GAH!

The room is covered in mirrors. I don't mean a mirror above the sink and one on the door, I mean the room is literally wallpapered with mirrors, floor to ceiling, up and down and around. You cannot turn anywhere and not see yourself from every angle possible.

In shock, I feel my way around Mr. Poopy's Funhouse for the toilet that's actually a toilet and not an illusion. A couple of dead ends later I find the thing, sit down and am confronted by an infinity of mirror images of myself on the throne.

Needless to say that's the moment my bladder locked, my urethra slammed shut and there was no joy in Tinkle Town that day, my friends.

I encourage you read the whole entry, which was too long to quote here, but absolutely hilarious.
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(no subject)

From officialgaiman. He has a deadline of April 1st for a draft of his latest book.

It's a great day for a deadline. It's really appropriate for the book, for a start, and whether I make it or not I can still call my editor and tell her I'm done. ("Really?" "Nope. April fool.")
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