Metaquotes

pilarcruz is very happy about coming back to the States after living in Korea:

That being said, I'm coming back in June so throw open wide the doors of your liquor cabinets. The streets will be awash with my vomit!

I am going to eat as much American food as I can. Oh, I will stuff myself with steak and Mexican food and gain back every single pound I've lost here in Korea. I will be fat fat fat. And happy.

from the ljdq, 4 March 2005.

6. You've decided to form a heavy metal band. What is going to be your band's name?

"Pastede On Yey, with our hit single 'OMG Racecar Bling Bling'" - shinga

sailorjim with a 100% true story about turtles and cars: "...the suit drove off with a squeal of tires and a turtle at a jaunty angle in his roof."

Really, go read. Just don't be drinking or eating anything while you do so...
I don't want to be held liable for any damage to keyboards or monitors from involuntary spraying.

(from a conversation in my locked LJ post about Brian Williams' appearance on the Daily Show last night. Summary of their exchange by sparkofmyteens:)

Jon: OMG WTF j00 suxx0rz!
Brian: stfu n00b you = WRONG.
Jon: We = fake. j00 r teh n00b.
Brian: *pithy remark*
Jon: stfu, we still pwnz j00.

"Far be it from me, the original Crackfic Queen, to dictate to anyone what they should or shouldn’t write. So please don’t think I’m doing that. Go right ahead and write whatever pairing, scenario or universe you want and have fun. Write mutants, vampires, wingfic, orgies, first-times, hobbits and mutated vampiric hobbits flying to their first orgy (please) but don't expect the rest of us to swoon over it. Not because that's some far-out shit right there, but because YOU haven't sold us on ANY of it."
~ singeaddams, here, on fanficrants

epi_lj pays more attention to his local temperature than what it says on the calendar:

I've seen a number of "Spring has sprung!" and "Post the signs you use to tell it's spring!" posts lately. I'd just like to note for the record that during my walk from home to the subway station this morning, it was -25°C (-13°F). Thank you. (I will now return to attempting to search for the remainder of my face.)

taken from this post on the community ROFLCL

 

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From mock_the_stupid, by m31andy link here.
Someone was described as being so far in the closet that he can see Narnia, and a side discussion was begun as to the difference or similarity between a closet and a wardrobe:-

"And, of course, whereas gays come out of the closet, it's transvestites that come out of the wardrobe."

Which I think sums it up nicely.

xpioti has troubles with a part of her lunch:

My drink is a bit too affectionate, but I've mostly convinced it to stay out of my lap.

There are some good comments. The first comment gets better when you know it's from her fiance.

halo4 is watching basketball:

Commentator 1: I think he's a bit cocky, but in a good way.
Commentator 2: I think you're right. It's good to have a little bit of cock in you.

dorked_out89: Have you ever seen a fetal calf? They look like cow-shaped Jell-O jigglers with tiny marshmallow hooves.

This is my first entry here!

From mock_the_stupid, nakedblueninja, commenting on this post, gave a great play by play on what it's like to watch a movie with Christ.

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A real life meta quote:

Uttered aloud by my friend terra42_99 as we were walking down the hall to the hospital cafeteria yesterday re a very annoying co-worker:

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From a locked post on sdragon's journal, quoted with permission.

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In a comment on chaya's  journal here, mr_wombat explains about leprechauns.


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And I'm new here, so Hi.

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Trisha then came out with I looked round in my lecture today and thought how strange we're all human, there aren't any aliens here.

I think someone may have been watching a little too much Star Trek recently.

orinocco, posting here.

bobbola on this article in a friends-locked post (quoted with permission)

Eaten raw, the human digestive system will convert part of it into cyanide. Two cassava roots contain enough to be fatal. That makes me wonder... How did they figure it out?

Person 1: "This plant looks interesting, I'm going to eat it... whoops, I'm dead"
Person 2: "That dude died eating that plant. maybe if I beat it with a stick, then eat it... whoops I'm dead"
After like, 20 people died, it became a quest to digest this plant, for it was tasty, then someone decided to cook it but then it was undercooked, so they're like, "whoops we can't cook it" and then some dude is like "let's try cooking it MORE" and everyone is like, "what are you? retarded?" so they made him eat the final product then he became batman.

In this post, hairynipple poses the question: If Irish coffee has alcohol in it, why doesn't Irish stew?

00smut comments: Because stew by definition is made up of leftovers and the Irish never have alcohol left over. Silly.

It all begins with setsuna losing her faith in humanity because of bad writing.

"A fantasy that’s based on ancient Greece should not have characters swearing with “Jesus Christ!”

No. I refuse to believe it. I don't have enough faith in humanity left to be faced with the reality of that."


Which leads to wanderingbhikkh saying this bit of genius:


"*takes out his pointer*

This man, class, has never heard of Xena: Warrior Princess.

*points to sesana*

Now to review:

El dog. *points to a puppy*
El crazador. *points to a writer*
This man has never heard of Xena: Warrior Princess. *points to sesana*"

Teh legal stuff: From a f-locked journal, posted with limyaael's permission.

Get a cold beer. Press against sore area for five minutes. Take a drink. Press against cold area for another five minutes. Take a drink. Repeat until sore area is numb or until you are too drunk to care.

~nerd_cake's advice on how to soothe my sore ribs, here.