Metaquotes

dewhitton's animal rescue successes are leading to some interference with his studies:

In seconds I had a windowsill of peewees, all begging and calling. They're upset that I've put them on morning and afternoon feeds to force them to hunt for themselves. They think they should be fed whenever they demand it, and they demand it every time they see me.

My studies go "On IA32 systems, the SKAAARK! SKWAARK! Windows server 2003 bootstrap SKWAARK!SKWAARK!SKWAARK! loader *flap flap flap* SKWAARK!SKWAARK! Ntldr, SKWAARK! can load NT4 SKWAARK! Windows 2000, XSKWAARK!P, and Windows *tap tap* SKWAARK! Server 2003 from any * choral choral choral*SKWAARK! drive or peeWEE! peeWEE! partion."

Full post here

hmtriplecrown reviews "Constantine"

Now about the movie... Going in, I was eager to see it. If you like visual effects, you will enjoy Constantine. If you are looking for a movie with a plot, consider seeing The Heffalump Movie. Keanu Reeves stretches his acting to the limit, extending his 200-word vocabulary to a mind-boggling 250 words.

vkz in a f-locked post on his most recent adventure in his local "scene".

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From thorne_scratch:

[setting: a gift shop. Our protagonist moves idly from various pieces of merchandise.]

Cashier: Have you considered buying a watercolor placard? They have cheerful sayings.

Thorne: [reads] "A kind word is better than a big pie." [gesticulating wildly] Untrue! A most damnable lie!

Cashier: But the irises are so pretty!

Guard: If you're not going to buy anything--

Thorne: A pie! A big pie! ...unless it wasn't a good pie. I suppose a big, unappetizing pie might be overshadowed by a very kind word. It would have to be a very kind word and a very bad pie. But they should have said that. Perhaps it would not fit on the placard.

Guard: Ma'am, please leave the giftshop.

Thorne: [puts on bowler hat] Very well, my shadow shall never darken this establishment again. Good day to you. [exeunt]

The whole post has a conversation on how various countries would play Charades, so you really can't afford to miss it.

From a personal journal, discussing the Peace Corps.


parallaxgl50: "Each day that passes, I care less and less about making a difference, and more and more about just being awesome."


Adiitional quote I just remembered, discussing Howard Dean's quote about minorities:

deathninja42: Nah, what I think it all boils down to is the hotel that he was speaking at just happened to have a large minority staff. He noticed, liked the people and were giving them a shout out. You just don't know, do you? Since the person getting offended wasn't there, doesn't know the full situation and wasn't inside Howard Dean's head, he/she shouldn't be getting offended.

parallaxgl50: What if they were in his head though....like VOLDEMORT! That's it. I've mixed Howard Dean with Harry Potter. My life is now ... AWESOME.

"Yet, make me listen to contemporary Christian pop music, and you'd think I was a vampire hit with Holy water. I just can't get into it. I avoid contemporary worship services, because my snarking would get me excommunicated. (Ok, so Lutherans don't do excommunication. I'd likely be forcefed lutefisk.)" -- tv_elf, here

Posted with permission from spunkylilsprite's journal. Homegirl's taking a Human Sexuality class, and on Thursday, the class will be seeing pictures of sexually transmitted diseased genitalia, which sparked this beautiful gem:


I think after hearing the little bit we heard today and seeing the pictures on thursday...I may rule out sex as an option all together. Asexuality isn't frowned upon right? If it is then suck it. I'm starting a revolution. I'm going to get started on making a flag. And our anthem will be the "Greatest Love of All" by Whitney Housten, because learning to love yourself is the greatest love all...and the safest way to not have greenish yellow mucus oozing from your nether regions.


And at the end of the post:


p.s. Still doing the revolution. Plans have not been averted.
p.p.s Check back on the revolution in a day or two. Plans may be averted. (Sometimes I cant help myself)
p.p.p.s I totally just typed p.p. and didnt giggle. Totally did that time though.

dewhitton on perils of being a willdlife rescuer, and trying to study at the same time

It is becoming difficult to study here. It happens when I drink too much coffee and start seeing "caffeine cats;" those shadows that move in your extreme peripheral vision and vanish when you look at them. My reading of "Advanced Windows Administration" was being constantly interupted by the cats flashing by the window. I ignored them.

Read the rest here

By z_gryphon in this entry in disasterporn, about an episode of Extreme Evidence:

If you're standing next to a creek that appears to consist entirely of gasoline - and to be quite frank about it, if it was anything like the way the guy at the beginning of the show described it, you'd have to be a real piece of Samsonite not to notice - you may wish to consider the outside possibility that it might not be an appropriate time to flick your goddamn Bic. Sorry, distraught parents, but it sounds to me like your kid's friend was just plain stupid.

sci and his highly intelligent Mouse

Dear god.. I swear, close proximity to all the electrical and scientific gear I have must be doing somthing to these mice. See, I woke up this morning and was cheerfully suprised to see the humane mouse-trap was closed. I had caught the mouse!

When I come to open it though? No. The door to the trap has been propped open with a shard of ceramic from the mug I broke last week.
I mean.. what the merry hell is going on?? This is not a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

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I found it amusing.

The fabulous karmax writes...THE PAC MAN OPERA!

Pac Man:
I was running around, and not using my head
Well, holy shit, it's seems that i'm dead.

(Large "EeeEeeEeeeeewhoooOOOOP?" sound fills the place via conveinantly placed PA systems all over the place.)

Ms. Pac-Man:
Pac-Man, Pac-Man....
Please don't die.....

Pac-Man (re-appearing):
Hey! It's cool!
I HAD ANOTHER GUY!!

Ghosts:
We can't believe it! He had another guy?!
But we just saw that bastard die!!


The whole thread is gold, including a letter about how playing Super Mario Bros nearly got him killed

A good one from an RL friend in this post:

I actually have this masochistic desire to see Hercules again. Not Troy, though. I'll never be able to forgive it. It left me cold and alone after thoroughly devouring, digesting, and then returning my soul to me in a gaudy faux-Grecian bowl of pure malice.

Eric Bana was good, though.
--plaidavenger

adidaschica2323 muses about why Stephen King's phone number was in Paris Hilton's cell phone, and what they'd have to talk about.

Haha too funny. WTF is Paris Hilton doing with Stephen King's phone#? That seems beyond odd to me O.o What in God's name could they talk about?

Paris: Hey Stephen wuz up?
Stephen: Writing a book about a young man from Castlerock who becomes possessed by cat demons.
Paris: That's hawt.
Stephen: O.o oook?

From a_hollow_year's post (there's some other amusing stuff there too):

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sorry for the messed up post. won't do it again. sorry i annoyed so many people.

nednefarious, in a sadly locked comments thread in which he was attempting to help astral_bass deal with the perils of Livejournal memory loss;

'(for a definition of "internet," search Google).'