February 18th, 2005

[lword] shane
  • sogay

(no subject)

From a locked post by mojokid, used with permission:
Also, why are there are so many adverts for plug-in air freshners? How can that be such a big industry? Air smelling of pine and forests will not hide the stench of your rotting soul, people.
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agent may is unimpressed

On women's intelligence

Eh. I'm sure you know why I'm quoting from this week's ljdq by now.

4. Which book provided the inspiration for the film "Apocalypse Now"?

"I was asked this question once during Battle of the Sexes and I knew the answer then, too, much to the astonishment of the guys I was playing against. I had to inform them that these were breasts, not brain tumors." -- whiski_sour

(no subject)

If zombies ever invade UCD, dortilolma knows what to do.

If I happen to be in the arts block my escape would be to run (or take the elavator) to the top of D block, then climb on to the roof. I've reasoned its the highest point in the arts block, and the Zombies would have to be quite limber to get up there.
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    amused amused

(no subject)


Also, while I was watching something on Comedy Central, I saw an ad for a new Roast...of Jeff Foxworthy, which is just stupid and wrong on microscopic to astronomic levels. First and foremost, well...it's Jeff fucking Foxworthy. You might as well do a 'Roast' of Carrotop or Albert Pyun or Uwe Boll or that horrible child actor that was in The Phantom Menace. Hopefully the ad was for an event where they'll actually set Jeff Foxworthy ablaze and crack wise over his smoldering remains. That's one show I will pay all I can to see in person.
Pillage THEN Burn
  • zarq

Stupid Motorists

From sclerotic_rings, here:
Completely unrelated to anything else, Arizona now has a “stupid motorist law, and Maricopa County just charged its first stupid driver. In a way, I’m quite glad that Texas doesn’t have a similar stupid driver law: if it were ever enforced, combined with the “three-strikes-you’re-out” law on repeat offenders, the piles of dumbass dead in Dallas alone would reach to the sky.
sport for our neighbors

(no subject)

(The scene is set. TAMI is in the bath. In her hands are the fatal objects; EXFOLIANT and MICROFIBER CLOTH.)

Tami: I am dissatisfied with my last attempt at exfoliation.

(The GODS TOY with TAMI.)

Tami: I know what I need to do! I need to
rub harder.

by spiderflower, here. The rest of the entry is hilarious.
  • cimness

(no subject)

From here - and hoping nothing like it has been written already since I've only read about halfway through the alphabetical list:

Mememe law: the first person to use an online quiz as "evidence" shall summarily be stabbed with a knife that is actually evidence from a crime scene.

-the_clansmen here in journalfen's jurisimprudence
Sarek of Vulcan

Copier-supply scammers

From this comment in mock_the_stupid:
A friend of mine often gets copier-supply scammers calling her office. They're polite but they get nowhere with her.

One day she got fed up (when L. gets fed up in just the right way it's a beautiful sight), and told the pirate:

"Yes, our copier is a Soylent Green, model THX-1138, and we need four black cockerels. Yes, that's right. The only thing that keeps it running is blood sacrifice. Oh, you don't carry black cockerels? Too bad."
Sanzo-style satori

(no subject)

serabut, here:
ML: *tells a heart-warming tale about a pastor's son who, despite the rain, went to all the houses to hand out religious tracts, and thereby saved an old lady from suicide because his visit warmed her heart and reminded her she's not alone.*
NS: *reminds her it's actually more common that greeting people handing out junk at your door is more likely to cause your blood pressure to rise.*
ML: ... No it's NOT! *wibble*
NS: *grins*
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