February 15th, 2005

normal

bigbigtruck reveals her Valentine's Day modus operandi (is amalgam).

Unfortunately, Brett is not psychic like he should be, and as such has not picked up on my mental signals in which I asked for a sparkly diamond. For the transgression of not reading my mind and following my every whim, I will sentence him to the silent treatment, breaking only to shoot out pointed sarcastic remarks alluding to other supposed transgressions. At some point, I will warp a question of my choosing into an inference that I am fat.
At this point, I will verbally manipulate him, claiming that if he really loves me, he will treat me to a very expensive dinner at Fonda San Miguel.

When the waiter asks for my order, I will sob and shout, "IF YOU HAVE TO ASK WHAT I WANT, I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!"


--Those of you who've never read EK's blarg are in for a treat.
Life.

Cosplay Elite.

Because Cosplay is a meaty source of wank, and this was just too amusing NOT to quote.

by lelola, here.

All costumes that are inaccurate deserve to be mocked. Likewise, all costumes that are not two-dimensional are inaccurate and deserve to be mocked.

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  • Current Mood
    amused amused
joan holloway roses

(no subject)

Although I cracked up when Navi was practically carrying him by the scruff of the neck, a gun to his head, and Behrooz yelled, in typical teen fashion, "I HATE YOU! I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!" Hee. Because underneath the killing and the terrorism and the fanaticism and the poisoning...they've become a regular suburban family.

--laurelin_kit, here, on last night's episode of "24."
mixing business and pleasure

(no subject)

nicole_anell responds to a school article that says contraceptives and abortion are so totally the same:

now life begins before an egg and sperm even meet. I understand now that pregnancy should be considered before all sexual acts, and I'd like to take Michael's argument one step further, and encourage all the men on this campus to stop masturbating.

Stop masturbating NOW.

Don't you see? Every time you whack off, you're sending an anti-life message. It seems you don't think that sperm is good enough to fertilize an egg. You want all the fun and pleasure of jerking off, but you don't want the responsibility of parenthood. People like you make me sick, wanting to have your cake/orgasms and eat it/prevent fatherhood too.


Really, the whole thing is a must-read.
gish uid

For my fellow singles

From tytaniaherself, a sentiment well expressed:

My holidays are not everyone else's holidays. There is no Valentine's Day in the world I inhabit. There is Dies Irae, the day of wrath every February 14th. At this point, a relationship is immaterial. Dies Irae is deeply ingrained into my psyche. Even chocolates injected with mood-altering drugs have no effect on my joyous misery. Don't even try to coo in my general direction. Wrath and coo don't mix. Even if they did, wrath is catching. Just wait a few more years and I'll have enough converts that Hallmark will start making us cards and little stuffed angry animals with little broken hearts.

I found the whole post uplifting.
Posing
  • cpip

(no subject)

really_bad_egg, praying for a bad RPer:

May the twin gods of Spelling and Punctuation take this poor sinner and stand her upon the kitchen footstool of shame. And may the mighty god Thesaurus stand just a little way away and peer between his thumb and his forefinger, so that the poor sinner's head appears to be crushed between them. And may he cry: "I'm squeezing your head! I'm squeezing your head!" unto the sinner until the world is old and the stars go dark. And in this way may the sinner be justly punished.
contemplative (ship)

Whilst studying for an exam....

amaranthev recounts the crazy things college does to us...
While I was studying for my Macroeconomics test earlier, I fell asleep. While I was asleep, I dreamt that I was at a Chinese restaurant, and I had just finished my meal. The waiter brought me my fortune cookie, and the fortune inside of it said: "Expect the rate of output to increase when the price level rises."

I need help.
phoenix ezzicons/xiggy
  • conuly

Taken from madbard

Here.

For all the Borg's collective braininess, it never occured to Them that they could save themselves untold hassle by beaming back to 51 BC and cluster-bombing the Roman empire into rubble. Similarly, why couldn't the Klingons simply beam one warrior next to Picard's crib and knife the little bugger into arterial tragedy? The Federation is probably too namby-pamby about preserving the time-space continuum to resort to these tactics, but villains in the Star Trek universe should logically be in a wild race to out-time-travel each other into ever-further reaches of the past annhiliate everyone else's ancestor.
molotov

very meta

From a locked post, quoted with permission:

misanthropoid: "Wait, when did conservatism get interesting again?"

killhamster: "my guess is when the coalition of blue states decided to drop dramabombs all over it."
when silly thoughts go through my head, she don't use jelly, i shall never grow old

(no subject)

From a post over in carolinemoments:

For Valentine's day, my dad got me a book called "The most Evil Women in History." (Yeah, some girls get candy, flowers, jewelry, I get a book about Lizzie Borden...go figure.) Here is a Caroline moment from Elena Ceaucescu (I probably spelled that wrong), wife of the Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceaucescu. Not really the type of couple you'd like to have over for tea. Starving the people while they lived in the lap of luxury from all the peasants' hard work, secretly executing political opponents and all of that...
So the communist government has been overthrown, and the Ceaucescus have just been found guilty of a bazillion counts of murder, extortion, fraud, etc. They are escorted to the back of the courthouse where there is a line-up of a dozen soldiers with guns.
Elena: "They're not going to shoot us, are they Nicolae?"
(I imagine Nicolae going, "No, no, dear. They're giving us a 21-gun salute!")