February 8th, 2005

  • isadore

(no subject)

austenian is discussing the merits of "Quest of the Delta Knights" over on mst3k:

I think it's important that I take the time to reiterate to everyone what a great episode is "Quest of the Delta Knights."

LOL It's like a fine wine, it gets funnier everytime you see it. No, it's like a fine wine in that you need to be drunk to watch it. No, it's like a fine wine in that the more you watch it, the hotter your sister gets.

Only my friends could mention sex in piratespeak

metalxmonkey in a friends-locked post quoted with permission.

AllWheelDrift says: can I say the one line though?

jaclyn (Blocked) says: yar

jaclyn (Blocked) says: if you translete it to pirate after

AllWheelDrift says: Not just vanilla sex with my husband, but hang from the rafters until the neighbours call the police sex

jaclyn (Blocked) says: hahahahahahahaha

AllWheelDrift says: yar, nar just vanillarrr sex with me hubbie, but string em up from teh yardarm sex until the landlubbers ring the navy sex AAAR!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
  • libram

(no subject)

shadowslayer64: It seems that some people think that "The Star-Spangled Banner" should not be the national anthem of the United States of America because it is "too militant".

I propose then, that the new national anthem of the United States of America be the "Battle Hymn of the Republic".
  • divabat

(no subject)

From this post on mock_the_stupid, while discussing a photo of a road sign with falling cows:

blondebeaker : The last pic: Oh honey look! Its raining cows!

cesontmesmots : Hm, is that better or worse than raining cats and dogs?

blondebeaker : Well cows would be instant death if they landed on you just right. Cats would rip you to shreds trying to latch on to you on the way down. Dogs would probably just see a human and think "Belly rubs!" and just flop right on us, which could also mean instant death if it was a big dog like a Dane or Mastiff.

I don't know what would be worse.

(no subject)

Isn't azazel humble?

I'm humble...
When I'm declared ruler of the world, my first speech will contain:
"You may stop reproducing now, I was conceived 1983." or something to that effect. I'll most likely force someone to write said speech, because I'm not good with words.
well-behaved women never make history
  • tiferet

(no subject)

From this post by caprine about her shiny happy date:

We took the bus back downtown to his place and engaged in ph34r my 1337 s3XX0rs, based on a classification system I invented the next day, inspired by this bout of nerve candy:

s3XX0rs = That was intense.
1337 s3XX0rs = I think we summoned a sex elemental.
ph34r my 1337 s3XX0rs = I think we are sex elementals.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Sarek of Vulcan

Forcible medication when not dangerous?

laan says in her journal:

I preferred my madness. I liked viewing every event, every chance encounter, as something of magickal significance. I liked to think that some of us actually were dreaming a new dream, beyond the mechanistic banality of our culture. I thought a new world was being born. I was there to welcome in that world. That was the only job I ever had or wanted. I didn't want to be part of the machine, and for a while I believed I could exist outside of it, I could be whatever I dreamed of being in the moment I dreamed it.

But others didn't see that I chose my dream. They said that it had no meaning, that my behaviour was a symptom of a sickness that I was in denial about. Once I was "healthy" again, I would be able to cope. I would see that coping was the only rational response to the situation that we find ourselves in.

So, although she wasn't dangerous to others, they drugged her. Lovely.

Onkel Magnus has some holiday confusion

The inimitable itlandm has something to say about Valentine's Day"

As I walked down the main street, I noticed the perfumery had lots of big blood-red heart balloons in the window. And I listened to the following exchange by the thoughts in my brain:
"Time to write a 'countdown to Halloween' post in the LJ."
"Uh, that's late in the autumn, with pumpkins. You mean ... Valentine's!"
"Yeah, yeah. That other American horror holiday."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
misc: haysoos is LAME

(no subject)

Yarr! I be doin' the deed of meta-meta quotin' one ov our own kind! From this here thread from this here post, shadowflyer says:

"4rrr! Y3 b3 teh dr34d3d S0F7W4R3 p1r4t3x0rz!!

4v4s7!!1! Pr3p4r3 t0 b3 m07h3Rb04Rd3d!!!!"

Yarr, despite the useage of his Red Sox icon, I must say, that's a mighty-fine comment there, misters. *waves NYC banner*

Looove to all of you, cause this comm. keeps me constantly smiling :D

  • Current Music
    Franz Ferdinand - Get Up And Use Me


From the thread here

cosmorific: string em up from teh yardarm sex until the landlubbers ring the navy sex AAAR!


P.S. I didn't know pirates said "teh." Arr, phear me leet skillz, ye scurvy dogs, or shiver me timbers if I don't pwnzor the lot of ye! One one one and a bottle of rum!

Me: You do realise you probably just started a whole new dialect there!
Pirate L33t! the newspeak of the internet! Arrr!!11!!

cosmorific: Avast, ye scurvy n00bs! STFU and prepare to be pwned!!!11!!1!
  • Current Mood
    ecstatic ROLFLMAO Arrr!!
  • ex_rita

(no subject)

My brother has an ongoing obsession with his funeral's musical selections...

But no no no seriously, I changed my mind about my funeral. I know I already decided what was gonna happen, but things change. So at the beginning, when people are still getting there, it's gonna be "Ride of the Valkyries". Now you're probably thinking it'll be on some big surround stereo system that just rocks the place, but no. It's gonna be one of those dorky little boom boxes you would use for like, a lame office party. It'll be on a cassette that's kinda old and scratchy, and the boom box will be on a little table next to my coffin. I was gonna have the coffin being slowly lowered during the song, but that's kinda dumb, and a little too Hollywood. Also, it's not gonna be a cool funeral home or anything original. It's gonna be the stuffiest, most grief-ridden Victorian place you ever saw. The place where you walk in and smell "funeral" flowers and have flashbacks of grandparents' funerals you went to as a kid.

THEN we get to the Bach Toccata, only now it's some quality sound coming from all directions. Someone goes over and awkwardly opens the coffin. The boom box is still churning obliviously through the fifth or sixth out-of-tune repeat, but it's drowned out anyway. At all the natural pauses in the Toccata, they stop the music and the preacher does a prayer or something. And then BAM! right back into it.

Then there's gonna be some other stuff, but I don't really know yet. Alls I know is at the end, it's gonna break out into "In the Mood". Everyone will feel weird, and someone will say something dumb like "well this is what he wanted". Spiked punch maybe?
  • stafir

(no subject)

In customers_suck quoting_mungo has this to say..in response to a thread that refered to how many of the costumes you see have very different people inside.

Oh, great!

Now I have this completely unfounded mental image of
one of the Disney Princesses being a guy in drag, taking a leak behind
a dumpster.

And that is wrong on so many levels.

"Moooom? Why does Jasmin have stubble?"
Neener Neener -- art by Lisa Andresen

(no subject)

pghkitten on snow storms and grocery shopping:

On Friday evening, the night before the Terrible Snowstorm that Wasn't (at least in Pittsburgh), we went to a local suburban Giant Eagle because I thought it would be cute to placate the local ice giants with the ritual purchase of milk, bread, and toilet paper. At ten PM, the store was absolutely packed. There was more than enough toilet paper; the aisles were blocked with huge 10-foot-tall towers of boxes of it. Other sections of the store were another matter; two sections in particular seemed to have been ravaged by...well, had been ravaged by a horde of Monroevillites. The only milk left was skim, which shows that even in the face of an emergency, we Pittsburghers are fond of our butterfat. The only loaves of bread left were raisin and potato. Our attempts to pick up essentials like precooked frozen chicken and ketchup were thwarted when we saw the cash registers; even the self-serve terminals were ten people deep. As we were leaving the store, I was struck by a mad urge to run up to the people who were just entering, grab them by the lapels, and shout, "You're too late! The milk is gone! You're all going to starve!"
Random - Trippy Colours

(no subject)

jeffla has a rant about the gym, and being told to eat 2,651 calories a day!

I suppose he's right. Maybe I can carry some of the foodstuffs I'm required to eat under my shirt?! Hey! There's an idea! I can stuff bananas in my sleeves and apples in the thighs of my pants. And for safe-keeping, I can put packets of shake mix in my waist band.

Wouldn't that be easier than all this working out? I can add bulk just by being a HUMAN GROCERY CART!


The whole freakin' thing is hilarious.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

lunahelio's art class

So today. We finally embarked on the artistic adventure that is drawing naked people. It's so real-art-schoolishly cool. Our model is tiny and skinny and perfect and has piercings and snake tattoos. They wouldn't hire a male model. They said it was because we're, like, 90% girls. I'm not sure what they're afraid of, except perhaps spontaneous model rape.

- nerdesque, from a locked post with permission.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
26th birthday

after grueling skies


Being on a flight with only seven people RULES. We got to sit wherever we wanted, so I got the spot in the emergency exit row with lots of leg room. Instead of just giving us a complimentary beverage and a bag of trail mix, we got a beverage, a glass of wine, a piping hot oatmeal raisin cookie, two bags of trail mix, and a little cup full of cashews and almonds. If it had gotten any better, they would've been fanning me with palm fronds, feeding me grapes straight from the vine, and adorning my head with olive branches.