, hereConcerning my attempts to buy a cell phone
ME: I would like to buy a cell phone, please. In the spirit of commerce, I will not ask how much money you donated to prominent Republicans in the previous election cycle.
CELL PHONE SELLING LADY: Our optimum plan costs $40 a month and gives you 18 billion minutes, plus unlimited calls to Japan and northern Africa and has text messaging, email, and a built-in SETI function that lets you detect potential signals from extraterrestrial life.
ME: I really just need voice mail.
PHONE LADY: I recommend this phone. It lets you take pictures, watch TV, scan for localized heat sources, and coordinate a global missile strike, all just for $499.95. Plus it's really thin!
ME: ...I really just need it to talk to people. ...And maybe a caller ID screen on the side.
PHONE LADY: In that case, maybe you'd like this phone, which costs $100 and is the size of a small asteroid.
ME: ...Not so much. How about that free phone, with the cheapest plan you have?
PHONE LADY: If you don't get the $40 plan, the phone will cost you seven million dollars.
ME: ...Oh. I'll just go with the $40 plan, then.
PHONE LADY: That'll be $269.95.
PHONE LADY: Looks like you've got some outstanding debt.
ME: I think I'll go buy DVDs now.Concerning really annoying commercials
I don't know how you're supposed to make an advertisement for cell phone accessories engaging, but it sure isn't by throwing a bunch of numbers on the screen with some phones displaying inane animations as an announcer reads off the instructions (which are, again, shown on the screen) in the most annoying tone of voice possible, then run the same freaking commercial two minutes later, followed by a slight variation. p.s. You know hip-hop has sold out when there's a green rapping hippo animation.