February 2nd, 2005

david bowie - crazy

Are you missing your teeth?

My mother, megknits, describes her first time walking to work, now that her store is newly located within walking distance from home:

As I was on my way, I found a set of false teeth on the sidewalk (on Lily Flagg near the pool). I have no idea if they are real or not, I chose not to examine them too closely. It was a pretty odd thing to find on the sidewalk, don't you think?
I just found it a little amusing.  Not something you really expect to see lying on the ground.  =)
Plead the FIF!

Why Black history is important

"Black people are important because they invented peanut butter and traffic lights. These are important because I don't like plain jelly sandwiches and traffic lights let you know when to go and when to stop. White people invented stop signs and they only tell you when to stop and you have to figure out when it's your turn to go. Stop signs are red, but stop lights go red yellow and green which are colors that are used in African clothes that people wear now."

- tgrupert (Here. And the graphic is gold.)

  • Current Mood
    tired tired
The Bacchante
  • lilnik

(no subject)

ursulav is in a good mood today.

And I just got spam with the header "labia squirrel doodle." That has not contributed noticeably to my happiness, but it does make my brain do that flickering thing where it tries to summon a mental image and
then blue screens and reboots. Sort of like trying to picture Dick Cheney naked. I'm convinced you could achieve enlightenment this way, because the brain actually shuts off in self-defense, allowing you a
sudden glimpse of a thoughtless clear infinity. Sort've like zanshin, only without the dignity.

In this entry
Seven deadly sins
  • naniris

Plus it's really thin!

From transnomad, here

Concerning my attempts to buy a cell phone
ME: I would like to buy a cell phone, please. In the spirit of commerce, I will not ask how much money you donated to prominent Republicans in the previous election cycle.
CELL PHONE SELLING LADY: Our optimum plan costs $40 a month and gives you 18 billion minutes, plus unlimited calls to Japan and northern Africa and has text messaging, email, and a built-in SETI function that lets you detect potential signals from extraterrestrial life.
ME: I really just need voice mail.
PHONE LADY: I recommend this phone. It lets you take pictures, watch TV, scan for localized heat sources, and coordinate a global missile strike, all just for $499.95. Plus it's really thin!
ME: ...I really just need it to talk to people. ...And maybe a caller ID screen on the side.
PHONE LADY: In that case, maybe you'd like this phone, which costs $100 and is the size of a small asteroid.
ME: ...Not so much. How about that free phone, with the cheapest plan you have?
PHONE LADY: If you don't get the $40 plan, the phone will cost you seven million dollars.
ME: ...Oh. I'll just go with the $40 plan, then.
PHONE LADY: That'll be $269.95.
ME: ...Bwah?
PHONE LADY: Looks like you've got some outstanding debt.
ME: I think I'll go buy DVDs now.

Concerning really annoying commercials
I don't know how you're supposed to make an advertisement for cell phone accessories engaging, but it sure isn't by throwing a bunch of numbers on the screen with some phones displaying inane animations as an announcer reads off the instructions (which are, again, shown on the screen) in the most annoying tone of voice possible, then run the same freaking commercial two minutes later, followed by a slight variation. p.s. You know hip-hop has sold out when there's a green rapping hippo animation.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Mr. Fengi
  • fengi

(no subject)

From a comment by oblomova in mrdankelly's post on Ayn Rand's b-day:
Florence King, in With Charity Towards None: A Fond Look at Misanthropy, describes Rand's early days in America: i.e., sponging off the charity of her relatives, keeping them up all hours with her typing when they had to get up and bring home the bacon that kept that sow of alleged self-sufficiency alive.

Ah, if only they had taken the Objectivist approach and kicked Ms. Thang out on the cold Chicago streets. We all would have been spared so much bad prose. So many more trees would be alive today. And so many oily insecure college kids would have to find some new hack to worship as a goddess.
mrdankelly responds:
Now I'm picturing her trying to make ends meet as a barista.

"I do not care if you are wishing a latte! YOU WILL BE GETTING THE DRINK I FEEL YOU DESERVE!

Now tip me. Karma."
  • inushnu

Got permission!

Swiped from a locked post by the Queen of Random, wild_magnolia:

It's a very liberal cubicle, except for all the pictures of hay bales and country music stars. I'm a dichotomy wrapped in an enigma. I'm also a side of beef wrapped in a huge tortilla, but that's neither here nor there.
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly

(no subject)

Another Meta-Meta:

I often find that my brain could use a control-alt-delete, or at least an alt-f4. It'd be nice if I could shut down a few of my background processes sometimes.

"Let's see here: run C:/Ben's Brain/actually.doing.my.homework.exe"

"No, you've got bugger.around.and.play.grand.theft.auto.exe running, please try again later."

Cancer Zodiac

(no subject)

From today's journal entry from allunderstood

I heard on the news this morning that the ground hog saw his shadow and got boo-ed by everyone there. He's lucky I wasn't there, I would have pulled him out by his tail and held a gun on him until he started playing with that damn shadow.
Wertham was RIGHT.

(no subject)

beeblebabe has discovered something (makes more sense if you're into comics, but still funny):

Whenever I have a stupid idea? Whenever I have a part of my life I'm ashamed of? Why, that's just when I had a bad writer. I was WAAAAY OOC for those issues of my life. Like, ages 12-16? I was totally being written by Bill Willingham, guys, so just consider that NON-CANON for me.

  • Current Mood
    amused amused