February 1st, 2005

Parked

(no subject)

from hephaestos regarding Dick Cheney's visit to Auschwitz and the current state of government:

BITTER? I'm not fucking bitter, after all the Vice President goes to a Nazi concentration camp wearing a hat that says "Staff" on it, it's not like they're lying to the public or anything.

Guess those truth in advertising laws apply in Europe, too.
swole bunny man

Those mushroom's 'll get you every time...

fannishnej started this thread in mock_the_stupid about a guy who insisted that I, Claudius was based on Emperor Claudius’s real diary. clanwilliam then proceeded to show what Claudius’ diary would have looked like. As a classical history major perhaps I found it funnier than most, especially the last line:


Invaded Britain. Discovered Messalina was cheating on me. M. has married again and her new husband declared himself Emperor of Rome. However, husband now dead, Praetorians unwilling to tell me where M. is. Maybe should marry Aggripina - never married niece before. That son of hers is a good harp player too.

Trips to vomitorium: five. (V. good) Orgies: three. (Must try harder.) Mushrooms eaten: one plate, prepared by A. Feel rather queasy.
lady tree tree

(no subject)

"Dear LJ,

This may be the hardest thing I ever have to write.

It’s been a week since I updated you, and over the last six months or so, I’ve been anything but reliable. I’ve procrastinated talking to you. I’ve found better things to do. I’ve not returned all of your comments, and – I admit it – at times I’ve deliberately not logged on in order to avoid running into you. This isn’t fair to you, Livejournal. It’s not fair to either of us.

I remember when we first met. I was so happy. Finally I’d found someone who I could really talk to, someone who would emote at my silly little jokes, someone, most importantly, who would just listen.

You were all those things to me. Damn it, you are all those things. You’ve never failed to live up to your promises, LJ. Whenever I need you, there you are, with your beautiful little white box all ready and waiting for me to type stuff into.

Sure, you have your flaws. You can be whiny. You can go on and on about trivial daily minutiae. At times you’re overly preoccupied with the idea that nobody understands your unique snowflake specialness – that you’re less conventional, smarter, or just perhaps more angsty than the average Joe. Being miserable doesn’t make you deep, LJ. But, hell, who isn’t like that at times? Mea culpa. Even your obsession with nonsensical little memes I can forgive, though I’ll never understand it. I’ve learned to love you not despite these peccadilloes, but because of them.

It’s not you, it’s me.

Knowing all that doesn’t make this any easier. The hard truth is, LJ, I find myself wanting to experiment with other forms of social interaction. In bed at night I fantasise about going down to the pub. Even when I was with you last week, the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about that Asian cooking class next door.

All we ever do is slouch around the house, LJ. See that big blue room out through the curtains? That's a whole world! When was the last time we watched the sun rise together over a seashore, or followed shooting stars across the sky with our fingertips? LJ, I'm just gonna come out and say this. You could use a tan and you're starting to get flabby. A simple style system override isn't going to cut it this time.

You might think me a coward for writing you this in a letter, LJ. But that's all we do nowadays. Sometimes it seems like I don't even remember the sound of your voice.

I'm gonna start seeing other people. I hope we can stay friends, and I hope that maybe, you'll start finding other people too. A little heads-up: baby, you should see the way the television watches you when you're not looking.

See you 'round. "



The inimitable ceret
Mut zum Schwanz!

(no subject)

If your wife is down on her hands and knees, with her face pressed up against the toilet -- the place where you poop and pee and whatever it was that you did last Thursday -- so as to paint behind it, and you did not at least offer to help, do not walk into the room and start singing: "She'll be paintin' 'round the toilet when she coooooooooomes!"

from pirate_wench_6's journal.
Top Model - Ms J

-stab stab-

A comment left in my journal about this post.

http://www.livejournal.com/~hatedlore/289584.html

pariahcub : ROFLMAO! I just had this image of a Zoloft commerical, "..Zoloft is still considered experiement and has a range of possible minor side effects in adolescents: nausea, bedwetting, pyromania, psychotic behavior, and a tendency to fatally assault one's grandparents with sharp objects while they're watching Matlock reruns on TBS. Please consult your physician and attorney before using."
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(no subject)

From isisdawn111, here.

Today in history we talked about the Secret Diary of William Byrd. If I thought this guy was eccentric before, he is a total nut job now. He wrote the diary in some weird code. I guess he was paranoid of people finding out about his eating habits or how he "gave his wife a flourish." Maybe flourishes were taboo back then. I bet she was faking them anyway :)
Wow Neat

Mmm, Monty Python

About a cat that was allegedly fixed as a male then allegedly managed to get pregnant (o.O):

Though in their defense, if you're told the animal is male and see that it has testicles...how many people would actually LOOK for non-male parts? :D
Nobody expects a hermaphrodite. Their chief weapon is surprise.

-- tviokh
KeroOmakase--sakuracorr

First post.

*delurks*

Posted by nextian on pottersues:

YOUR ICON. VETINARI. THE MIMES. OMG MARRY ME NOW, ICON.

(Well, you too, brilliant owner-of-said-icon. Does it count as polygamy if one of the members of the marriage is 100x100 pixels?)


Fill in your own political punchline here.
LOTR speed

(no subject)

liveshawn on bad bosses in THIS POST:

It's as though she is a walking electronic boss-unit and accidentally selected the wrong pre-recorded response from her Database Of Boss-Like Sayings That Are Subtlely Cryptic And At Closer Inspection Are Clearly Nonsensical.

Hee!
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LOTR speed

Are YOU a Goth?

AND

This Entire Post is DAMN Funny

An Exerpt, from anne_jumps commentary on "some warning signs [from the Catholic church] to indicate if your child may be a Goth."

-Misbehaves at school.
Jocks who beat up geeks=Goth.

-Misbehaves at home.
Everybody=Goth.

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
Role-playing is of the devil!

-Frequently wears black clothing.
Everyone in New York City is a Goth, as are mimes and puppeteers!
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