January 30th, 2005


Bob Esponge

Excerpts from a great tale told by tsudonimh - Long, but worth every second.

"Last year I found a talking Bob Esponge (that's Sponge Bob in spanish, folks!) in the trash. Shake him and he talks, and talks, and goads you into shaking him some more until he starts repeating himself, and this prompts you to flip the little switch on his buttock.

What possessed me? I taped his little feet to the end of a long, extensible paint-roller handle, and went outside. I hefted him up to all the second story windows and gave the pole a little shake, and all these innocent people were confronted with the voice and visage of Bob Esponge in their inaccessible windows.

I got various reactions.

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Mermaid Attitude -- art by Lisa Andresen

(no subject)

In which tabbyclaw ponders the mysteries of the shampoo aisle:

And as I was attempting to condition the mushroom cloud into submission last night I happened to recall a series of commercials that some shampoo or other was running a while back that never made sense to me. The spokeswoman was commiserating with us about the letdown of a new shampoo: It's great at first, but then it starts to leave a dull buildup, or whatever. But if you buy the shampoo in the commercial, it leaves no such buildup! Hooray!

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I don't know what's in shampoo. For all I know, it's made of elves. And that's not a typo; my level of knowledge does not exclude the possibility that at this very moment Orlando Bloom is being suspended upside-down over a vat in a shampoo factory and somebody has just slit his throat to get at his salon-quality perma-shine blood. So maybe, just maybe, each and every shampoo has something in it that neutralizes the "buildup" from every other brand, so it really does make sense that your hair would be new and fresh and shiny after trying a new shampoo. Kind of like in those shooter games where you can level a weapon up a million times, but the second you pick up a different kind of weapon you're back to level 1 again. But if that's the case, then why not just buy two brands of shampoo and alternate?

But what do I know. I'm just a plebeian with a head full of built-up elf blood.
  • divabat

(no subject)

from weekendwench in mock_the_stupid:

The trainer, Sheila, is giving us role playing senarios to help us understand how to react to real-life customer situations.

Sheila: Sean! I call you. I want to know my account balance. Where do you go what do you look up?
Sean: replies correctly

Sheila: Josh. I call you. I want to know when my last statement was sent in the mail. Where do you go and what do you look up?
Josh: replies correctly

Sheila: Connie. I call you. I'm dead and want you to close my account because I am deceased. Where do you go and what do you do?
Me(Connie): I call the Ghostbusters cause, if you are calling me when you are DEAD, then, I am going to need them!

(no subject)

darthpenguin in customers_suck, discussing the problems of being a "door greeter." (Quoted with permission)

"But it gets so tiresome to go around and greet all the doors every day. There are so many! Some of the doors are rather chatty, and it's tiresome to listen to the doors describe how often they get slammed, locked, or banged into. I mean, there are some really funny doors out there, but the others I could just leave in a junk pile! If I went around to greet every one of them every day, I'd eventually pick favorites and other doors would become resentful, and I'm sure the managers wouldn't like dealing with door drama, especially when doors decide to slam around and demand attention."
Anne-Julie - dreaming

(no subject)

Posted by dymphna_gold in remusxsirius

It’s like when I used to work in a bookstore, and customers would come in and say: “I’m looking for a book? Don’t remember what it’s called or who wrote it, but there are two main characters and at first they don’t like each other but then they do and they get together? And I think it’s set in the Southwest somewhere. Or maybe China. Do you know that book?”

Yeah. Like that.