Metaquotes

biissedandgone, here:

How dropping your face in a plate of french fries constitutes as cute & flirtatious I'll never know.

Taken from slg_news, the official LJ community for Slave Labor Graphics comics. Here the columnist describes a review of 'Next Exit' #2.

And then he goes on to tell you all the reasons he doesn't like the comic for two paragraphs. (One of those reasons seems to be that he desires ungainly infodumps. "Oh, you big, hot, awkward chunks of exposition!" he says. "God, I want you!" Ughhh. Sorry. He actually doesn't say that. I'm just a jerk.)

Imagine if you will an average major state university lecture hall filled to the brim with eager young go-getters impatient to partake of the fruits that are plucked from the tree of knowledge by their intrepid mentors and are offered to them on a silver platter.

Fix that image in your mind and marvel at its gentile beauty.

Now set fire to it and stomp on its head while my dread army of Killer Nuns and Spastic Ninja monkeys throw feces at it.

--doqz and the first day of the new semester as a TA.

sithjawa:

On trying to access m2m:

Apache: You don't have permission to access / on this server.
Me: How about some genfic, then? Or het?

Spake gwynn_aaron in a caption this photo contest in blackfyr's journal:

We can re-brand him. We have the advertising dollars.
We have the capability to make the world's first wholly corporate President.
George W. Bush will be that man. Dumber than he was before.
Jingoistic . . . heartless . . . grammar-challenged.

nostrapotomus here responding to this very disturbing David Hasselhoff icon:

My god... That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. All tremble and dispair before the power and majesty of The Hoff. MC Escher would have done something like this, had he his own pirated copy of Photoshop: The Perfect Eternal Hasselhoff.

Comments. Oh, the comments.

"And dogs. You can't tell me that a dog seriously thinks it's procreating with my leg. Can you imagine the foot puppies?"
--iibnf
and then, a reply to that:
"That must be what they make Hush Puppies out of."
--snitchnip_chill

In response to a post here.

It made me giggle.

Implying what, exactly? That Brand X has a few extra dimensions or was summoned from deepest R'leyh by fish-eyed half-men? I'm buying food, not elementary particles. Soylent Green is all natural, too, but you don't see me stocking up on it when I see a coupon.

-- Here.

From wankprophet, on whether Batman is a Republican or Democrat:

Batman is clearly a syndical anarchist. As a vigilante who believes the system has failed, he couldn't be anything else (the AU future of "Dark Knight Returns" highlights this quite clearly.)

Philosophically, he's a proto-existentialist with shades of Nietzsche.

And he's a antitransubstantiationalist Episcopalian who has nevertheless always felt a little uncomfortable with the Trinitarian doctrine but thinks the hypostatic union has a certain poetic resonance.

The thread taken from This post in mock_the_stupid

From cleolinda, ranting about plagarists and obviously inspired by Dr Seuss:

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lucylooo, on a rather disturbing choice of words in an article discussing Backstreet's return:

Howie calling the Boys' new album 'us meets R. Kelly' made me _weep_.*

Okay, and I also might have said "AJ, don't pee on the fifteen-year-old girl" out loud as well. C'mon, who else is going to do it, Brian? He's too busy doing lines of coke on the porn star's ass.

I wonder if people who flip out every time their oh so delicate sensibilities are offended on a livejournal community also scream "LJ-CUT!!! LJ-CUT!!! I don't want to see that!" when people in an offline setting do or say something of which they don't approve?


--tviokh

scarybaldguy, here, on Focus on the Family (you may have seen them in the news recently in regards to that Spongebob debacle) and an upcoming concert:

The Village People are playing at the World Arena next Wednesday. $10 says
Dobson takes the opportunity to tragically (and publicly) wring his hands and decry Those Damned Homosexuals.

mamajoan Rants on email-Spam advertising methods "Studies show it tastes sweeter."

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1. Which German Field Marshal who commanded the Deutsche Afrika Korps during World War II was nicknamed "The Desert Fox"?

"I'll bet there's a movie about him. It could be called 'Desert Fox' and be filled with action, action and more action! And subtitled German just for that authentic feeling. And Nazis. Prince Harry could do a cameo!" - meandstuff

"Rommel Rommel Rommel. He's the hamburgler's favorite general." - mcclintock

Read the whole thing here.

first they came for bert and ernie
and i said nothing because i was not a muppet

then they came for tinky winky
and i said nothing because i was not a teletubby

then they came for spongebob and patrick
and i said nothing because i was not an asexual cartoon sea creature

and now i'm just wondering who'll be the next target of the
righteous conservative wrath against imaginary creatures

(from drgaellon)

laughingrat on her LJ friends.

Cut for the word clap.

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Edit: Sorry for this, but even being granted permission, bookishgal decided to retract the quote.

- nico

selphish is angry:

And now you've got me more pissed off than a Trading Spaces homeowner who just found out Hilde would be designing her fabulous new bedroom. And for those of you who don't have a mother or sister that constantly blares that show in between new episodes of Degrassi or 7th Heaven, that's pretty fucking pissed.

Seriously, I find the concept of betting on the failures of somebody's love life hilarious. That could be because I'm going to die a bitter, lonely old husk of a man who owns a dog and a shotgun to shoot trespassers with. And goes lawnbowling, because that's a geezer sport.

To avoid this fate, I plan to die at 35 in a deep fryer accident. In death, I will be delicious.

Not to mention crunchy. I recommend some mesquite seasoning. - lsaii, here.

"while grammar is good
all agree muchly that in
haiku it not there."

- paranoidkitten, here

In mock_the_stupid, wowwhony talks about a history exam:

Now, for one gem from last year that involved the stupidity of more than one student, as opposed to the teacher...

Name the person who discovered King Tut's tomb.

Want to know what a good chunk of people put? No, not Howard Carter...

Aaron Carter.

I have lost faith in humanity.

My Abnormal Psych professor is chilled, works in Bell View with people who had just tried committing suicide. He asked at what stage in depression people commit suicide and I answered "at the end" and got a good laugh.

I saw a whole staircase moving through my hallway and I'm now in a great mood. The guys are ripping up the stairs to the basement and replacing them. But that image of a staircase going through the front door and around my house is better than one-legged midgets dancing ballet in kilts.

I swear, my brother is a neverending source of material.

---

And a new one from smckeown:
What is the difference between a Scotsman and an angel?

An angel says to his neighbor, "Hey, you! Get out of my cloud!" ... and a Scotsman says to his neighbor, "Hey, McCloud! Get out of my ewe!"

jaydeis's response to this post in mock_the_stupid:

So what's her idea for girls that want to be boys? Glue the hole shut and tape a hotdog on?