January 27th, 2005

discworld treacle mine road

(no subject)

Two from nostalgia_lj:

The human brain makes up 5% of the body mass and consumes 20% of the oxygen and glucose used by the body. The human brain is a lot like America.

Me: *singing along*
Mother: "Oh, you must be happier now, you're singing." *pleased* "What are you singing?"
Me: "Johnny Cash."
Mother: "...well, at least you're singing."
agent may is unimpressed

On making the best of a bad situation

pureleo: one by one we are losing trains, booth clerks and service.

before you know it, all the trains are going to be running at 1/3 capacity like the A train and we're all going to have to take pedi-cab/rickshaw things everywhere because gas will drive taxi prices up.

adam418: As long as I can use my 30-day unlimited card on those rickshaws, I'll deal...

-- Folks in newyorkers discuss the latest transportation woes.
virgin sacrifice

(no subject)

emrinalexander is having furnace troubles.

ME: It's the furnace.
ANNIE: You're kidding?
ME: No, and think there's something IN the furnace trying to get OUT.
So, I schlep out to the kitchen and call our oil/furnace company, and I tell the guy on call, who in this instance happens to be the owner, what the furnace is doing:
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    amused amused
Castle - Dear LiveJournal

A Rabbit Hole Entry

From xanath in an extremely humorous entry at her journal:

They're switching the doors to automatic now, which is great, but it's pissing off the doormen something awful. Boy, were they ever bitchy today! "Oooooh, here comes another employee! Well, Ms. Employee, how do YOU feel about having shiny automatic doors? So much better than having sentient beings to open them for you!" I just snapped and said, "Look, guys, I don't care how much trouble you get me into with the troll union, but frankly, we never should have brought you out from under the bridge."

"Racist!" they started screaming.

"Racist?? You've eaten 58 patients since we hired you!"

"They're included in our collective bargaining agreement!"


We would have kept arguing, but at that point the shrubs decided they'd heard enough and started shedding on all of us. Blecch! Nothing like having old, shriveled hibiscus petals dropped on your head.

Creationism Defined

vaecrius offers his understanding of creationism in endcreationism:

A lot of what is called "creationism" is really anti-evolutionism, the indignant backlash against the notion that people were formed from lowly monkey-like things rather than the vastly more noble descent from dirt.

I guess that's why "creationism" is a "dirty" word with some people. XD

Cyberpunk Philosophy.

"Stop listening to cats that may or may not be dead. Heisenberg doesn't care where you are or how fast you're going. Ring your own bell, and salivate according to a different clock. Stop seeing, start being. Stop being, start thinking. Stop thinking, start knowing. Stop knowing and exchange the core system for something a bit more ... flexible. Hack the Truth.

kitty pirate


From sinclairhawkins on his drive home:
I had just gotten on Independance Blvd. in Charlotte heading toward downtown so I could get on the interstate and start heading home for my few hours of sleep before work when something in the lane to my left caught my attention. There was a flash of color that seemed odd somehow, not certain what about it caught my attention at this point, so I decided to take a look to my left and see what was going on. I turned and face a TV screen, easily visible through the tinted windows and a couple engaged in ... raging hot porno action.
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    amused amused
Pyanfar firefight

Crackalicious Deadpool and Punisher

sages_of_chaos is a crackalicious community that I somehow missed and didn't discover until a couple of weeks ago. The crack there is piping hot; the place is a kind of multi-universe advice column thing chock full of characters from everywhere. Marvel's mouthy Deadpool (Wade Wilson) joins the community yesterday, Frank Castle (the Punisher) tries to flush him out into the open, and Deadpool (wadewilson) snarks back:

Frank. FRANKIE. Francesca. Lookiee what I dun to yaz. The steely-eyed Big Pun is now taunting and baiting the bad guys instead of just gunning 'em down like the surly crusty headcase we knew and loved since 'Nam. Confidence problems?

Punisher (subtle_guns) replies:

Twisted mockery of sentience, that's what you are, DeadFool. What's it like to be inside your brain? I'm betting this nine right here that the dendrites in there look like the M5, overrun with raw sewage and a few jackknifed sixteen wheelers that just shot their loads of dioxin all over the biomass highway....Cosby's too complex for you, WadingPool. Get back in the shallow end with toddlers and Playskool boats, where you can watch Thundercats and form simple sentences while you retrain your synapses on the lattice of LOGIC.

Then Deadpool starts in on Elektra, Sue Storm, Kitty Pryde, Rachel Grey, Domino, and everyone else. My nose hurts because it's dripping Mountain Dew. The entire comment thread is gold.
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Jaysus is my homeboy. Kinda

swussian wants to move to the US of A and...

I'd become the Minister Of Christian Propaganda. I'd make WWJD TV commercials. Like this
A big house full of popular-looking teens. They are all quite drunk and party and seem to be enjoying themselves. Christian party music is playing in the backround. Suddenly one guy rushes into the room and screams "Dudes, we are out of booze!". The party freezes, the music stops. Everyone looks depressed. "What Would Jesus Do?" fades in in big biblical-looking letters."

Read the rest here and learn more about what Jesus would do.
  • Current Music
    Lareine - Je t'aime
Bush's eyebrows

(no subject)

From the wonderful linaliem:

Today during swim team I had the most brilliant idea. The 2008 presidential "debates" should be run in the style of the game Taboo, wherein the candidates are unable to use certain words or phrases to answer the question, thus disallowing them to spout off talking points without content. In 2004, it might have gone something like this:

Bob Shieffer: Do you think being gay is a choice? You may not use the words marriage, preserve, protect, between a man and a woman, morals, traditional values, amendment, sanctity, activist judges, defend.
Bush: ...
Kerry: ...etc.

More here.
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    complacent complacent
  • lelola

(no subject)

From moogle_tey in a locked post (with premission):

Instead of blaming God for all the bad things I do, I think I will now blame Celebrities. XD


I'll blame celebrities AND God - at the same time! BWAHAHAH! It's genius! XD I'll never be responsible again!

Tey, did you finish that budget report?
Nooo, I'm afraid I didn't.
It wasn't my fault, it was God's and...Vanilla Ice's fault.

Tey you just hit that old lady with your car.
Diana Ross made me do it.

Tey, look at this mess. What do you have to say for yourself?
...it's a miracle! It's a miracle! I produced my third miracle, line me up for sainthood! XD
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    bouncy bouncy