This morning, on the bus, where I have never before been accosted, I was reading quietly near the rear exit when the woman sitting in front of me suddenly turned, violently, and poked my arm.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked, offended, while I stared in fascination at the blackened socket where one of her teeth used to be. "Because I'm hearing all these evil thoughts from your head. I don't like white racism, asshole. You're in the wrong country."
I stared at her, bewildered. She huffed and turned back around in her seat, and a second later turned to me again.
"And I don't support Satan!" she shouted.
Now, as much sympathy as I have for the mentally ill, I also have bad impulse control, and before I could help myself I replied, "But you haven't even heard what Satan's campaign promises are!"
I blame the caffeine.
-- copperbadge here