One day we watched Fotr with an interesting choice of background music. Just so you know, "The Phantom of the Opera" (the theme, obviously) is great with the Council scene. We had it so just as final piercing note was sung that the flames engulfed the Ring's reflection. Chilling.
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We also watched Outbreak, leading us to say such odd things as:
-The Monkey of the Hospital is here, inside the vents!
-Look at your face in the window, I am there outside!
-You are my Primate of Sickness, come to me Primate of Sickness!
Me: There is no Monkey of the Opera!
Crystal: Thank you, Raoul.
The whole entry
theferrett had been discussing bad poetry, and in the way Livejournal discussions do, it veered off topic.
Without further ado, here are purplkat's views on Klingon poetry:
What kind of pansy Klingon writes POETRY?! War ballads, I can see. Stories of fabulous ass kicking coincidentally phrased in verse, fine. Eddas, excellent. But poetry?
I weep for my life
I am misunderstood, oh the sorrow
I must disembowel something
(You can see the whole hideously bad poetry post here, and purplkat's contribution here.)
"I'm applying for this scholarship--"
"Is it a gimmick scholarship?"
"An essay based scholarship?"
"Sort of, I guess."
"Erin, I support you sending an essay about going from a good Catholic girl to lesbian for a gay scholarship. I support you sending an essay about going from a lesbian to a good Catholic girl for Catholic scholarship."
My dad, ladies and gentlemen.
-Do you experience anxiety, elevated blood-pressure or crying jags watching Reality Shows, The President or TV Commercials?
-Have you recently attempted to make a witticism about current events and been thwarted, mid-remark, by the fact that reality is already parody?
-In trying to explain your blathering, have you resorted to terms such as "popomo" or "post-everything"?
-Have you responded to sub-par manipulations of irony with furious subpar ironic remarks intended as parody of irony itself, such as "Oh is it 1994?" or "Holden Caufield, well I never!", only to have your response interpreted as "ironic"?
-Do you wonder if anything will ever be funny again?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions... you may be suffering from Metapause.
From nuncstans, here. Make sure to read the rest of it!
I was just looking at the Yahoo front page and in their little news box was the headline "Paris gets new Holocaust memorial." And the FIRST thing that popped into my head? "Why does she need that, too?"
Some days, I hate the world.
because my stomach is steadily screaming "feed me now, seymour" and my brain keeps saying "it's hot, stfu" and my stomach yells, "don't make me come up there, bitch" and my brain says, "fine then. eat the hot stuff and burn the hell out of your tongue" and the hand not recognizing the finer art of sarcasm raises the fork and puts the bite in my mouth and then my tongue is all like, "wtf? are you fucking insane?"
I swear that I'm not on drugs, even if I seem to be acting insane lately.
You know what's gonna be awesome? Menopause. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be the most fun I've ever had without a phallic object.
"Three minutes into the quiz, I start hearing the sound of running water. I look around, wonder WTF, and continue the quiz. Then I hear jostling and a few grunts, followed by the sound of pouring water. Yup, [my linear algebra professor] was in fact taking a pee while still wearing his mike. The class is now in hysterics.
Sure enough, a few seconds later came "ZIIIIIIP!" That did it. Class over. And then for some strange reason he burped. It was a challenge keeping a straight face when [he] walked back in the room.
Somehow I don't think anyone passed that quiz."
--some names changed to protect the innocent, you know, unless you happen to go to m00se's journal that is....
Overheard a moment ago, while my boss was on the phone with a vendor manager:
"And -- you're going to love this -- on the spreadsheet fields where we told them to leave it blank? They meticulously typed in, every single cell, 'BLANK.' Yeah. I laughed, I cried ... it was better than Cats."
[T]he driver's ed site said "fingerprinted and photographed" and I seriously blanked out the "print" part of the first word and I thought "fingered and photographed!? Isn't that a violation of privacy!?"
And here's the actual quote, from a friend of mine, who usually likes to remain anonymous:
And do they photograph and finger, or do they photograph the fingering?? Are these photographs catalogued somewhere for an official purpose? Or do they show them off at the Christmas party? Is there a website you need a valid credit card to access?
I thought I was watching a Discovery Channel special about baboons and then I realized they were showing the president getting ready for his inauguration today. Oops.
Suitably outraged, I commented: What I'd like to know is how it's possible to promote homosexuality. Since when is being gay a product???
And phoebesmum replied:
It'd make going to Tesco more interesting, that's for sure. "H'm, bog roll, cat food, bag of potatoes and ooh, yes, I almost forgot - half a pound of gay, please!"
ETA: In a thread on the same post, blank_file comments:
Wrestling is the most gay sport, men in speedos grappling each other and getting sweaty. But nooo, they pick on a yellow sponge instead.
--as reported by umbrarumcantus over here.
In response to a batshit insane post and some crazy bigot implying that she's destined for hell, poeticalpanther says:
"Oh, darlin', if hell is a place where I don't have to spend eternity with sanctimonious, self-righteous moral absolutist bigots like you? I'm buyin' me a CONDO there."
In this udderly ridiculous [it's a pun about her icon] convo.
I hearted that.
Hey everyone I just wanted to let you know. I work at a hospital in LA and John Goodman's body did come in. The coroner thinks that it was drug related. Also his body was covered in dijon mustard and honey. It is my personal theory that he was trying to make himself into a giant chicken sandwich. I salute you, John Goodman! You would have been delicious.
"I'm sorry I interrupted your quiet time."
"I don't have quiet time. I have silent panic attacks."
Take that, The Man!
Tomorrow I am going to my first protest. I am going to stick it to The Man! I am going to dye my hair green and wear my emo glasses, and The Man will see this and say, "My word, that is one rebellious youth and no mistake! Societal structures are definitely in danger now!" and then there will be free love and stuff. Hurrah for protest.
Power Rangers? Try Jesus. He really needs a hair cut, and he thinks he can get away with wearing sandals and a robe everywhere. Plus, he encourages forgiveness of sinners, and loves all men, women and children. He also believes in turning the other cheek and he doesn't like war.
Drugged up pedophile bisexual terrorist-sympathizer anti-war communist hippie with a complete disregard for public cleanliness!