January 18th, 2005

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Tales of Pizza Valientcy . . . or something.

For those not in the know, Berkeley is a realativly small town just across the bay from San Francisco. Its claim to fame is the fact that its home to UC Berkley, and the Lawerence Livermore Labs, which do a lot of atomic energy research.

However, back in the 60's and 70's, Berkeley was also home to a lot of hippies who earned it the nickname Berzerkeley. Even today, a lot of weirdness (Ask about the Naked Guy of Berkeley sometime) comes up out of there. Which is what you get when you mix Pot and nukes.

Anyways, back in his Bachelor Days, meandean was a pizza delivery boy. In customers_suck, he tells tales of the things he saw. Like this one.

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It's funny 'cause it's true

Selection from "1001 Rules for Achieving Lifelong Happiness"
Rule #497: Do not allow yourself to gain a reputation as an expert on Middle Eastern politics. Maintain a studied ignorance of the history and cultures of the region. If asked to venture an opinion at any point, first protest that you don't really know much about what's going on since it's too depressing to follow. If pressed, make sure you have ascertained the ethnic, religious and political composition of the room, and present one of the following stock responses:

* What do you expect? Those Arabs are all a bunch of savages!
* It is disgusting, what the Zionists are doing now. Beasts!
* Clearly, it is a sign of the end times. Our Lord Christ must be coming soon.
* To hell with them all, Arabs and Jews, they're all a bunch of nutcases over there. Religion is responsible for 90% of humanity's problems.

dobrovolets, here
  • jedusor

Not sure if this is okay...

(This is from my journal, but I wasn't the one being funny... if it's against the rules to do this, let me know and I'll take down the post.)

Discussing slash and "outing" herself to her mom:

deathbyapocalyps: One night I walked into her bedroom and stood there like I was about to be crucified and was like "Mother, I have a confession. I like slash. *explanation of what slash is*" Mum: *glasses slip down her nose* Me: Um yeah. *walks out again*
deathbyapocalyps: I always had the 'saftey window fast minimize trick'
deathbyapocalyps: but she caught on...
deathbyapocalyps: and she's like "YOU WILL SHOW ME WHAT IS ON THOSE WINDOWS NOW OR I WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR COMPUTER"
deathbyapocalyps: Abby: *toe inches toward the power button*
deathbyapocalyps: Mum: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
deathbyapocalyps: Abby: *gives up* Okay. This window is a homosexual story. So is this one and that one and this one. This one is a homosexual comic. This one is a discussion of homosexuality in the Harry Potter books. This one is a discussion of homosexuality in Pirates of the Caribbean. And this one is a site about Hello Kitty.

--macabresinclair, posted in a locked post in my journal
Eheh
  • oddnari

(no subject)

edallia is at it again...

Tidbits from Texas...
SCENE: Fort Worth Stockyards, rodeo championships...

A COWBOY enters the ring, on the back of a bull who does particularly want a cowboy on his back. The bull does his utmost to unseat the cowboy. The cowboy's hat flies off of his head and lands in the dirt.

The cowboy follows. In the process of cowboy/bull separation, the bull steps squarely on the cowboy's foot. The cowboy hops up and down for a few minutes, shakes it off, he's okay. The crows gives him an appreciative cheer. Meanwhile, the bull, on his way the hell out of the ring and back to his feed, steps on the cowboy's hat and stomps it flat.

The cowboy screams in anguish.

edallia also learns of the comfortable practice of peeing on desks (and intends to restrain herself from giving DTP an entirely new meaning  of DeskTop Pee-er)... well read it all here.

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We Southerners make for good comedy

From the journal of my very funny friend niarbehtnozyob:

So, my English goes straight to hell whenever I'm around my family. On my way home from class today, I went to Miss Julie's house. Her name is Iola, but they call her Julie. And she's my cousin, but I don't know how. And she's 80something, but nobody's really sure 80howmany. Anyway, we were just shooting the breeze, and honest to god, this sentence came out of my actual mouth:

Ain't GranGran used ta stay way cross town wit MayBell nem down long side da crick?

AHHH! WHAT IS THAT! Like I ate stupid rocks for breakfast. I wanted to go wash my mouth out with soap.
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Bear!
  • drbear

(no subject)

From  liamstliam

I love LJ

Only LJ could spawn so many memes off of "What I did during 24 hours without LJ."

I have to be impressed with a company that gives you two free weeks for a 24-hour outage.

Of course it happened during the librarians' convention, which means the Library LJs must be hopping right now.

I am glad I was home for only four hours of it, and that </a></b></a>evilnicola had to suffer through all of it.

Random first sentence of an LJ biography . . . . I am a Christian queer leatherman with a sense of humor and some strong opinions. I love the friends of my friends. Actually, that's a third-generation friend and it's all </a></b></a>sonofabish's fault.
Starry Night
  • grail76

(no subject)



Im watching The Great Rock and Roll Swindle its still good, weird, stupid. Just the view is a bit differnt since I am not giving head through out most of it this time.

said wldrose in her journal.