January 14th, 2005

flowers that last forever

(no subject)

merrykarilou is a little fed up...and a little grossed out.

Dear Everyone on Earth,


Please, for the love of everything and anything that is sacred and holy (or even earthy and 'deep'), PLEASE stop using the phrase "I just threw up in my mouth". Stop using variants of that phrase. Just. Stop. Saying. That. It's NOT funny anymore. Everytime you say it, somewhere, a puppy gets kicked, a nerd gets a swirly, and a woman gets proven wrong. When you say that, you are upsetting the balance of the universe.
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    Buffy Musical - I've Got a Theory/Bunnies/If We're Together
highway, sundown

(no subject)

When I was a kid, I remember a Bugs Bunny special that I only ever saw played once, on ABC, I believe, but I taped it and watched it over and over. It was Looney Tunes in some kind of medieval situation, with Yosemite Sam as a black knight and Porky Pig had to joust him, and Porky and Bugs were talking at one point, and Bugs refers to him as 'Sir Pork of Chop.'

I laughed wholeheartedly for about ten minutes straight the first time I heard that, and it never got old for as long as I was interested enough in those kind of cartoons to watch it. Eventually, the tape wore out, and I have no idea where or when it was disposed of.

I'd like to laugh like that again.

It still makes me smile.

-- terminaldogma, here

harley ivy eh

(no subject)

Peter David (of peterdavidblog--quoting syndicated accounts is fair game, right?) just nearly made me hurt something laughing.

First, talking about the sub-par villains in Elektra:
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And then in the comments:

Dude, at least YOU didn't see "Batman and Robin" at a special private screening for DC staffers and guest. I'll never forget the moment Batman whipped out the Bat Mastercard, and someone behind me screamed like a lost soul howling its agony from the pit of the damned. It was Denny O'Neil. What a blood-curdling sound THAT was.
Going to War -- art by Lisa Andresen

(no subject)

So dorrie6 discovers a new issue brought up by the buy-out: So, I'm sure most of you know of my puppy's livejournal, derwunderwelpe, which is of course actually written by my husband Paul, just as zrffleblrrt is. The day the big buyout was announced, Paul went to Lucy's journal to make a post, and found that he could no longer access it without providing a credit card for age verification. Despite the fact that he had clicked on the button indicating that he is over 13 when he created the account, because he had put Lucy's real birth date in her profile, the account was flagged and there was nothing he could do, including editing the birth date.

And then there is general talk of what happens when they try to deal with this, and much unhappiness on her part and on the part of the commenters. But because this is LiveJournal, there is yet both humor and succinct summaries:

jenish: Wow. They're kicking puppies, now?
Peg 2015
  • pegkerr

FF I, Session 2: The Eternal Struggle Between Cats and Materials Science

scott_lynch, who is training to be a firefighter, tells this story here.

So, my new turnout gear is in the house for all of three minutes before the cat decides she's going to lay claim to it with a full-on front-claws scratch attack. I cringe in anticipation of the rip-rip, rip-rip of thousand-dollar lifesaving gear gaining some non-standard ventilation holes. But that's not what happens-- no, the poor little dear gets stuck. Claws firmly fixed in the material, tugging frantically and yowling, with that wide-eyed, desperately bewildered look worn by cats whose dignity has just been compromised.

Any other creature would save a look that hopeless for, say, being doused in flaming gasoline, or bitten in half by a shark.

Cat, meet Nomex and Kevlar. Nomex and Kevlar, meet Cat.

I let the poor little sweetheart have her physics lesson for about fifteen long seconds before I extricated her and gave her some chicken as a consolation prize. One guess as to who won't be screwing with my gear again any time soon. Hell, I feel better already. Anything that can survive an irate housecat should be able to take a few dozen residential fires without a scratch.
Stock: God's Bringing Donuts!

Why name kids when you can name swords?

From a locked post with permission from liastrife:

Me: "*having a conversation with Phil* ...A name? Oh, Lugh, I think. That's a good name."

Kat: "*butting in* What? You're gonna call your kid Lugh? No, he'd get teased all the time!"

Me: "A kid? No, my sword! Why the hell would I name a kid? Freak!"

...Yes. It was amusing at the time. *cough*


And is still amusing now, in my humble opinion. *delurks*
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Plead the FIF!

(no subject)

A comment from dyvinesweetness (here) in blackfolks that makes fun of a new book on dating common sense called He's Just Not That Into You.


"If you haven't spoken to him in 3 months... he's just not that into you."
"If he fucks your brother, he's just not that into you."
"If he gets a restraining order against you, he's just not that into you."
"If he runs away from you screaming "get away from me, you fugly bitch!!", he's just not that into you."

And y'all didn't even have to pay me.
Could hook a sista's paypal up though.
gir

Japanese whimsy rears its head again

gizmodo on one of Japan's latest products:
Being a Japanese brand manager must be the best job in the world: Take an exclamation, add the word 'Super,' and append the product function. That leaves us, in this case, with 'Oh! Super Toaster!' a $10,000 toaster that not only slices whole loaves of bread but then toasts them with an infrared beam. But we could just have easily been left with 'Cripes! Super Chessboard!,' or 'OMFG! Super Floss! (Special Edition)'
bring it cate

I wanna be Naamah's cat....

The highlight of the evening comes when I am preparing to pop an inch-long piece of candy cane into my mouth, and the Mocus reaches up with one fuzzy paw to pat at it.

I offer it to her to smell, thinking that nothing on Earth could be further from a cat's tastes than peppermint. She begins to lick it noisily, ears back and eyes squinted. After about fifteen seconds of this, during which I and Sargon are struck utterly dumb, the peppermint cold apparently kicks in. She spends the next five minutes making extremely comical faces.

I offer her another piece a few minutes later, and she gives me a withering look.

A look that clearly says: "Catnip may be a member of the mint family, but THAT is not catnip, Bitch!"

(And the following day, after waking up from odd dreams involving the cat in embarrassing positions:)

I do not tell my cat about this, but as I sip my hot chocolate, I am convinced that she knows anyway. She did this to me! It is revenge for the peppermint.

Peppermint makes the cat telepathic!
Scathe

OMG TEH SLASHPRON

"Although I find most slash slightly-to-really-really disturbing, I can at least feel for the authors- if your number one fantasy is Captain Picard pinning Frodo to a loading bay door with beefy arms, well, where the hell else are you going to turn for kicks except to home made erotica? But regular fanfiction... there's just no excuse."

-emmycantbemeeko, here.
Questioning look
  • oddnari

(no subject)

Greetings, I'm a new here to Metaquotes. Here's something from edallia, who is awfully bored in Texas.

"In between my mother's cries of "go see an opthamologist!" "go see a nephrologist!" "go see a dermatologist!" and after my appreciative and diplomatic response("Why don't I just cut the crap and go see a MORTICIAN??!!") I took a bath."

It gets even better with this (I'm with you on this one, Edallia!):

"Yes, there *are* unnecessary hours of the day. Has *anyone* ever found a use for 6 am? Unless one has stayed up all night on the computer, which is a perfectly legitimate enterprise and the only use for 6 in the morning."

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    Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell on midi (It's a ringtone!)